Mango Coconut Flavored Caramel Corn

It looks like a good idea for a snack food, no??

We ate this Mango Coconut Flavored Caramel Corn while on a road trip.  We were on I-95 somewhere in Southern Virginia when I busted the bag out.  I had picked it up at TJ’s during a MANGO RUN one day when I was throwing a plethora of mango items into our cart.   I should have paid more attention to the quiet conversation between two TJ’s employees that I overheard that day…  One, pointing to a bag of this snack, said, “Have you tried this yet??” with a sort of glazed look on his face.  The other employee replied, “Ummm, yeah, I did…  It’s not great…  But it might be, like, a good PICNIC food or something…”.

WHY didn’t I heed the warning signs and take it out of my cart then?

Look - David thought it would be an IMPROVEMENT on your everyday, run of the mill caramel corn...

Here is what David, who was driving while taste testing this, said, “This is NOT an improvement on caramel corn.  In fact, it is a DE-provement.  It is like somebody squeezed a coconut and dripped the coconut pee all over your good caramel corn.  I didn’t even remember that there was supposed to be mango associated with it, but I can only presume that mango is what gives it that sort of “too-flavorful-like-somebody-has-rubbed-an-air-freshener-dangling-from-their-rear-view-mirror” onto the popcorn after the coconut pee has been on it.  I am gonna give this a 2.5, and hope that god rewards me in heaven for my charity.”

He wasn't as happy with it here, in the car, after he had actually TASTED it

Side note:  DAVID LOVES ROAD TRIP SNACKS.  He would eat snacks the entire 14 hour drive in the car if he could.  In fact, he has eaten so many “natural” (white cheddar) Cheetos on a road trip once that he got sick.  All of this is to say, David will basically eat ANYTHING on a road trip (except an Arby’s sandwich, he draws the line at Arby’s “meat”…).  Yet, I still had to practically force him to eat bites 3 and 4 of this popcorn so that he would have tasted enough to form a considered opinion for this review. 

As for me, I regret buying this.  At the time, it seemed like a good idea.  But even when I pulled this out of the bag of road trip snacks to open it, I was hesitant.  After we tasted the first bite I understood why I was nervous to try it. 

Misleading (but clever) signage.  I wouldn't say there was a "party" in this bag of popcorn.  I would say there was an
AIR FRESHENER in this bag of popcorn.

First off, when you open the bag, it SMELLS BAD.  It doesn’t smell like FOOD.  David hit the nail on the head when he called it an “air freshener”.  That’s what it smells like!  And the mango tastes fakey to me.  I don’t imagine it is – I mean, most stuff at TJ’s is pretty darn healthy, but it tastes fake in this product.

The coconut tastes like suntan lotion – ewww.  We love caramel corn!  So honestly, this product could have been a big winner!  Like, an improvement on caramel corn!  If they nailed the flavoring on this one I think we would have really liked it.  But I would rather have naked caramel corn any day of the week than this.

We adore Trader Joe’s Caramel and Cheddar Mix (formerly known as Chicago Style) – reviewed here.  You should buy THAT instead of this yucky seasonal caramel corn.  As for the Mango Coconut Flavored Caramel Corn, they need to nix the mango and coconut flavorings and just make it plain ol’ caramel corn – that would be yummy. 

We don't like to return stuff, but we just had to bring this bag back.
 Not to worry though, we filled our cart with our yummy stuff at Trader Joe's!

David says that even though he remembers eating so many Cheetos before on a road trip that he threw up, he prefers to eat the last 1/3 of the bag of Cheetos that remain in the car and risk getting sick again instead of eating more of this caramel corn.  (David also ate at least 8 store bought chocolate chip cookies on this road trip…  We are all about the healthy, apparently!!)

I am surprised at David’s high rating of this.  I can’t give it any higher than a 2.  I recommend you do not buy this one.   David (in a rather hesitant voice) says, “It is CRUNCHY, and this IS some caramel in there…  So if you are desperate, it’ll do….”

BONUS ROAD TRIP PHOTO!!!  No drive down I-95 would be complete without a stop at SOUTH OF THE BORDER!!!!  And I have a new photo series called "Dhavid's Dhoti" - where he wears his dhoti (men's attire from Southern India) in fun and interesting locations!  So here is Dhavid at South of the Border!!  Classy, no??

Dhavid's Dhoti at SOB

Price – $2.99

Rating (average of 2 raters) – 2.25

WHITE HOUSE - Rush to TJ's NOW!

I don't normally post photos or talk about a product until after we have tried it and reviewed it, but guys, I've gotta share!! 

LOOK WHAT I JUST SCORED!!! It is a WHITE HOUSE COOKIE KIT to decorate for the 4th of July!!!!! Color me psyched! 

It was either $6.99 or $7.99, I got so excited I forgot the price.  But it was even CHEAPER cuz I returned my half eaten bag of gross black bean pasta!  

I know my Lil Barack fingerpuppet is gonna love this cookie White House! If you want one hurry to get it, they are probably in super limited supply!!! Keep your eye on this blog for a review (after Independence Day, of course...)

Black Bean Rotini

This is a new Trader Joe’s product.  I found it on an end cap (you know, those shelves on the end of an aisle that retailers use to get your attention to sell you stuff).  I need to pause here to say this:  I do NOT read other online reviews of Trader Joe’s products before we try them. I do not want our opinions to be in any way influenced by what other people think of products.  However, you can bet your sweet bippy that as soon as I finished writing this review I am gonna check and see what other people thought about Trader Joe’s Black Bean Crap-ini – errr, I mean Rotini!!  But before I can begin my review, let me just say this:  if anyone else gave this a GOOD review, they are either getting paid by Trader Joe’s or they are drunk.  This is a super shi**y product. 

See this?  Don't buy it.

This is a horrible product.

We bought this rotini at our Northern Virginia Trader Joe’s.  It seemed interesting!  We planned on making the recipe for the shrimp pasta dish on the back of the bag, but we didn’t have time to make it at home, so we brought the crap-ini with us to Florida.  Last night we followed the recipe on the back of the bag, but we had to improvise a bit since there is not a Trader Joe’s near us here.  Instead of using TJ’s “Mushroom Medley” or “Roasted Peppers and Onions”, we used fresh mushrooms, peppers, and onions.  We didn’t have a jar of TJ’s Alfredo Sauce with us (which got a great review in this blog here ) so we bought another brand of sauce.  And instead of using TJ’s frozen shrimp, we went to a special fish store (Hull’s in Ormond Beach, FL, which rocks!) and bought fresh local shrimp.  Yes, we put a lot of heart into this meal…

The part we made – the veggies, sauce, and shrimp – was really good.

The pasta part – the Black Bean Rotini – was DISGUSTING.

Even David didn't like it.

Luckily we TASTED it before we poured our delectable sauce over it!  I would have been steaming mad if that excuse for a pasta had ruined the tasty sauce we made!!  I almost barfed when I tasted it, then we literally THREW IT AWAY.  We had made half a package and we pitched all of it into the garbage can.  We do NOT throw food away – there are too many people who go to bed hungry, and we do not have money to waste.  But that stuff was too gross to eat…  I taped up the other half of the bag and put it in our stuff to bring back home with us so that we can return it to Trader Joe’s.  And you can bet I will give them a link to this review when we return it so they can see exactly what we thought of it. 

I call it “Black Sh*t Rotini” instead of Black Bean Rotini.   We ended up eating our lovely shrimp sauce over leftover, reheated rice, and that was way better than the crapini!! 

The Black Bean Crapini was interesting LOOKING, but that is the only positive thing I can say about it.  It is a horrible texture in your mouth and the taste of it is soooo bad!!!  I mean, I like me some black beans, and I love me some pasta, but THIS, this ain’t either of those things!!  I give this product a big, fat ZERO (and I think only 2 other things have gotten a zero in this blog – the super disgusting Pumpkin Scones ( reviewed here ) and the undrinkable Cranberry Juice ( gross juice reviewed here ).  Heck, even that yucky Coconut Water got a .75, the Cherry Cider that tasted like drinking cough syrup got a 1.75 ( coconut water review here ), and the most ever read review on this blog, the “Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm” eeked out a 1.5 ( read this review before you invest in this head to toe crap ) !!

This coconut water was pretty rank, but it was still better than Black Bean Rotini...  Review here

Here is what David thought of it:  “I would have to concur with what Susan said.  It is BAD.  I mean, not as bad as rancid meat or fish, but the consistency is PASTY…  And then it is nothing like a PASTA…  There was nothing appealing at all in the taste.  I am a guy who rarely throws stuff out, but I didn’t want to eat it at all.  I would rather just find something else to eat, which is what we did.

Maybe, if you are a, you know, some sort of a vegan-loving straight-up masochistic vegetarian who likes things that taste bad, then this Black Bean Rotini will be appealing!!    I mean, I love me some bean thread noodles!  You can make noodles out of beans that are tasty…  But this???  Oh my God…

But this is a win!  This is a good news story.  TJ’s rotating stock encouraged us to try something NEW, which we did, and even though we didn’t like it, we are going to be able to take it back, give them our feedback, and get our money back.  That’s why we love Trader Joe’s!  I would have to give it a zero, too.”

We will take our money back for this one please.

Well, it looks like this is one that David and I agree on -- it is one of the worst Trader Joe’s products that we have tasted.  We very rarely use Trader Joe’s liberal return policy, but if annnnything deserves your money back, it is this bag of crap.  Seriously, if you have not figured it out yet from the rest of this review, this black bean pasta is horrible.  #NewProductFAIL. 

No, we did not overcook it.  But it was not a winner in our book.
Sorry for the crude photo, but this product angered me a bit.  :) 

Price – $2.99

Rating - 0

Famille Perrin Cotes du Rhone Reserve

So, we have something to CELEBRATE!!!  I knew it was gonna happen when I went to bed last night.  I wanted to stay up for the excitement, but not having slept well the 2 nights before I just COULDN’T stay awake.  So when I rolled out of bed early this morning the first thing I did was check this Trader Joe’s blog – WE HIT 150,000 VIEWS!!! 

But then I got busy.  I worked all day and the time got away from me.  But I needed to CELEBRATE this milestone!  So I finished out the day with a trip to Ormond Beach with my sweetie.  We swam in the warm water.  We breathed in the fresh air.  And we JUMPED. 

150,000 views!!!  Now that is something to jump about!

And now, just a few hours after it officially hit the 150,000 mark, the blog is just shy of the 151,000 mark!  I am serious, something has been happening lately that is bringing in a lot of readers.  What’s the haps, people??  But don’t worry, I won’t celebrate tooooo often, only for the biggies (like 150,000!).

So as part of the pre-celebration last night, we opened a bottle of French wine.  The bottle was a 2015 (ahhh, a very good year for colonoscopies if I remember correctly…).  My wine ignorance is going to show here, but I always thought that Cotes du Rhone wines were RED.  This may be because there are a couple of Cotes du Rhones from Trader Joe’s that I like to drink that are red.  (Ugh!  Now that I look back on the blog I see I have not reviewed either of my “go to” Cotes du Rhone reds!!  What was I THINKING!!!  I know I have all of the documentation for the reviews.  Note to self:  get more organized…)

Anyway, we bought our first bottle of this WHITE Famille Perrin Cotes du Rhone Reserve about a week ago after we tasted it at our local Virginia Trader Joe’s and really enjoyed it.  So when we were stocking up on TJ’s wine to bring on a trip to Florida (no, we did not drink any on the 13 hour drive!), we grabbed a bottle of this, and boy am I happy we did!

Sort of a boring label, but not a boring taste

David’s take on it:  This is a very nice, well balanced wine for when you want a wine that has more character than a fruity one.  It has a nice, kind of WOOD character to it without the overbearingness of a chardonnay.  I don’t know where that comes from; it’s not too fruity, not too sweet, but it is PLEASANT.  And it is cool.   I think it is better served with something rather than on its own.  There is kind of a “tang” at the finish that makes you think, “Hmmm, it would be nice to have something to eat with this, like a piece of cheese…”.  I give this wine a 4.25.

My opinion:  We served this wine chilled.  Like I said before, I thought Cotes du Rhone were always red, so this surprised me.  I really, really like it.  It is a great summer wine that would pair with anything!  It doesn’t have an overpowering taste, so it would not overpower what you were eating.  We served it with a pizza that we made that had a red sauce.  (I am always proud for some reason when we make homemade pizza.  This time we bought a pre-rolled out dough – don’t judge…)  I think this wine would pair well with fish, pasta, salad, a tuna sandwich…  It would also be yummy to drink while just popping cashews in your mouth.

Would you like a glass??

I get a little bit of grapefruit taste, but as you know I am not a wine expert.  Who knows, there may not be a grapefruit note in the whole bottle!  But it is GOOD.  It is a great all-around white wine to have on hand for summer.  OH, it would be good with DESSERTS, too, since it is not too sweet.  I give this wine a 4.75.

David points out that, although we have nothing against a wine of color, we do like a good white.  J  And I agree, especially when it is hot outside, a nice, chilled white wine is what is called for.  So for now, while in Florida in June, I am all about the white (wine)! 

Grab a bottle of this Cotes du Rhone.  Try it!  It will be something different and, while it isn’t the cheapest wine on the shelf, it won’t bust the bank.  Plus, I think it’ll make you smile.  Go for it!  Interestingly, the pricing sign says it USED to be $9.99, but because Trader Joe’s costs to get it have gone down, they have lowered the price they charge to $8.99!  C’mon now, in this day and age, what other retailer is gonna do that???  Thanks Joe!

Thanks for the treasure, Joe!!

Price – $8.99

Rating (average of 2 reviewers) – 4.5

Mango Tangerine Scented Candle

As you know if you read the post before this one, we just went to India.  It was our first visit there and I spent the whole time with eyes wide open in amazement at all there was to see, smell, taste, and do. 

And while we were there – IT WAS MANGO SEASON!  And when it is mango season in India – It.  Is.  Mango.  Season!!!  There are loads of different varieties of mangos there, and they are insanely delicious and juicy!! 

Mangos at Crawford Market in Mumbai, India

Anyway, we are now back in the US.  And of course, one of the first places we went upon our arrival was TRADER JOE’S.  I mean, one has to get fresh half and half for coffee, right???  But after we unpacked, did laundry, and caught up on a bit of sleep, we went back to TJ’s to see what was new and stock up on some fresh veggies, etc.

Guess what?  IT IS MANGO SEASON AT TRADER JOE’S, too!  I mean, boy HOWDY is it mango season!  The first thing we saw when we walked in the door of the Fairfax, Virginia TJ’s this sunny Saturday afternoon was a display of some new mango coconut popcorn (which of coooourse we bought but haven’t tried yet, review to come…).  Oh man, TJ’s has gone NUTS!!!  There is mango EVVVVERTYHING – mango WAFFLES, mango SHAVING CREAM, mango mini pies (we got those!), mango cereal (got it!), mango ice cream, mango mochi, mango margarita mix, mango, mango, MAAAAANGO!  Let’s just say, in Trader Joe’s terms, JUNE is to MANGO as OCTOBER is to PUMPKIN.  If you have ever stepped foot in a TJ’s in the autumn season you will know exactly what I mean.  They’ve gone a wee bit overboard in the mango department (one worker told us there were gonna be, like, 50 mango items in the Fearless Flyer….)

So this is my first of several MANGO product reviews!  Drum roll please….  May I present the MANGO TANGERINE SCENTED CANDLE!

Candle in a metal tin

This candle comes in a metal tin.  I like to buy metal tin candles in small sizes to throw in my toiletries bag when I travel.  They are great for helping out musty smelling hotel rooms.  This candle is 5.7 oz though, so is too big to be called a travel candle.  But I grabbed one anyway.  In fact, let’s not lie, I grabbed 3.  1 is for me and 2 are for gifts!

Had to take a little sniff in the store to make sure it smelled good...

Then I came right home and lit mine.  I mean, I needed to make sure it is a nice candle before GIFTING it, right???  Turns out, it is!  The scent is nice – strong without being too strong and not overly in your face mango.  It is a nice balance of the mango and tangerine – it smells fruity and summer-ish. 

Ahhhh, mango and tangerine scent filling up our house

The label tells me the wax is a natural coconut-soy blend and the wick is lead free cotton (which is not something I am concerned about, but if YOU are there ya have it, this is a fancy wick). 

So it is a nice scent, natural wax, metal tin, and fancy wick, all at only $3.99!!  That is a really reasonable price for a good candle if you ask me.

This is a good candle at a really good price - go get yourself (and a friend!) one

I hate even listing the price here, and I hope that the people I am gifting these to don’t feel like I am a cheapskate…  But I want You guys, the readers who I am not gifting these to, to realize how cheap they are and go grab 1 (or 2!) now while it is “mango season”.  Cuz you know how it goes; just like pumpkin time, Trader Joe’s won’t keep these around forever. 

Price - $3.99

Rating – 4.5

Namaste from INDIA!

Namaste from Kerala, southern India!!

We are on a vacation, celebrating my 50th birthday (which actually doesn't come until mid-June, but it never hurts to celebrate early, eh??).  We have never been to India before and have been amazed at the sights, sounds, tastes, and colors that surround us here.  We traveled through a few northern cities and have now come down south to finish out the holiday.

One thing we love to do when traveling is, you guessed it, SEE THE LOCAL GROCERY STORE!!  Here in India we have been fortunate to see some MARKETS, which are absolutely amazing.  We even went to one, Crawford Market, where they MAKE SPICES.  By that, I mean they take the spice blends that the women bring (yes, it seemed to be all women ordering them), roast them, then GRIND THEM into the types of spices you and I would expect to see in a jar on a Trader Joe's shelf.  I was fascinated and could have easily stayed at that stall for hours observing and smelling.  Heaven!

Spices, having just been roasted, now resting on a burlap bag in the sun waiting for their turn to be ground

A long queue of spices on a Sunday at the spice market, all waiting to be ground

A grinder!  These large pistons slam down very loudly onto the spices, grinding them very finely

Most people here seem to shop at markets, but I also wanted to see an Indian GROCERY STORE.  Locals never understand my desire to check out the groceries, but I really think it is a great way to learn something about a culture!!  What cookies do they eat??  What drinks?  What CONDIMENTS???  There is a lot to learn in a grocery store!!

So we popped into one in Mumbai.  Let's just say, it was NOT a Trader Joe's :).

First off, no air conditioning.  And this is the HOT season here, record highs actually.

Secondly, they have STATUES in their grocery store.  See, here is a Ghandi one!!!!!  Isn't it great?  I have never seen anything like THAT at a TJ's.

Look, a Ghandi bust in aisle 1! 

Thirdly, the sample lady was giving out WHOLE CARTONS of Greek yogurt, not little cups of it.  Oooh-la-la!!  They also took our photo after we tasted it.  David did a funny face where he was spitting some of the yogurt out as if it tasted super disgusting.  I bet they don't use THAT in their marketing campaign.

Fourthly, the snack food section had FAIRY LIGHTS over it!!!  You know the ones, the fancy twinkling Christmas lights!!!  Cuz nothing says EAT SOME CHIPS like FAIRY LIGHTS!  It was pretty fabulous.

Snacks and fairy lights, a great combination!

We were glad we persevered and figured out where the heck the hidden grocery story was.  We crossed some crazy Mumbai streets, dodging traffic, to get there, but it was worth it.

We didn't buy a bottle of "Thums Up" soda  but we probably should have, eh?

Naso Rosso (Laurello Vineyards) - red wine

If you have read any of the other wine reviews in this Trader Joe’s blog, you KNOW I am not a wine snob.  Heck, I am a cheap date as far as wine is concerned!!!  I have given a 4.25 star review to a CHARLES SHAW Sauvignon Blanc that costs $3.29, folks (see that review here:  C.S. Sauvignon Blanc .  I don’t think anyone could call me elitist in the wine department…

And I am a big fan of CLOWNS.  A clown is featured on this wine label, which was the major selling point for me.  In fact, when it all boils down to it, I am MARRIED to a clown.  David is also known as Dr. Beano in the Big Apple Circus Clown Care Unit and performs in Children's National Medical Center in DC.  We also go to loads of circuses, like, way more circuses than the average person attends…  We were at one just last week (Barnum and Bailey), and one of my most memorable birthdays was when I was treated to not ONE but TWO circuses on the same day!!

Dr. Beano waiting for kids to arrive for the Big Apple Circus of the Senses 

Dr. Beano juggling

And yet...  And yet, as you will soon see, I cannot in good faith give this wine a good review.  Hell, I cannot even give it a mediocre review.  Because as much as I love to support the “little guy”, as much as I root for the “underdog”, and as much as I like to “buy local”, I feel the need to warn anyone who might happen on this bottle of crap in an Ohio Trader Joe’s…  My love of circus clowns and my desire to drink cheap wine cannot save this dreck.

When we go to a new town I always check to see if they have a Trader Joe’s.  And when we go to a new TJ’s, I always hunt for something unique to that state/city/store.  Almost every item in TJ’s stores is uniform – if you find it in California you will find it in Florida.  But they usually have something unique, one or two LOCAL items.  And that is what I hunt for and buy!  Sometimes it is a HONEY (like Mike’s Hot Honey, see review here: Mike's Hot Honey ).  Often it is a BEER (like Rail Splitter IPA, see review here:  Rail Splitter IPA ).  And sometimes it is a bottle of local wine, like this crappy bottle of Laurello Vineyards Naso Rosso from Geneva, Ohio… 

I was lured in by the artwork on the label.  As PT Barnum said, "There's a sucker born every minute".

The store employee in Ohio actually subtly warned me that this was not a great wine…  In fact, if I remember right, he quietly told me this was a BAD WINE…  We bought this bottle last fall and kept it in our wine rack.  I referred to it as THE SCARY CLOWN WINE because seriously, this is one scary ass clown on the label!!  (And no, I do not have coulrophobia, fear of clowns.  But if YOU ran into this clown in a dark alley you would do well to be frightened!!)  I was so distracted by the scary clown drawing that I never even NOTICED the name of the wine is “Naso Rosso” – or RED NOSE.  David just pointed out to me now that the name “Red Nose” also references a drunk’s perpetually red nose.  Clever, Laurello Vineyards, clever!  (If only you put as much work into the making of a tasty wine as you did into naming it…) 

We recently traveled across country to California and it took us 17 hours to get home to DC.  So as a treat when we got back, I opened the SCARY CLOWN WINE!  Just OPENING it, before I had even poured or tasted it, I got a whiff of “not good”.  It smelled like a super strong GRAPE KOOL-AID.  It was, how shall I say, ODD…

Then I tasted it, and it tasted like C-R-A-P.  It tastes like a mixture of grape Kool-Aid, sugar, and cough syrup.  Those tastes are NOT really what I am looking for in a bottle of wine…  The label says, “Wine should be as spontaneous as a circus clown, and as appreciated as a piece of fine art.  Nasso Roso is a fun, fruity red wine perfect for any occasion.  The clown “Tete de Clown” is a famous piece from French artist Bernard Buffet.  To enjoy all of Bernard’s work visit his website http://bernardbuffet.com/  .” 

Promo image from "A Little Business at the Big Top" - David's circus show.  We will be on the road with it this summer!

David is a clown.  David studied clown in France.  David has an original one man show that is a circus piece, and we have hunted for wine with circus labels to give to technicians as thank you gifts.  Lord, I am glad that we did not give this crappy bottle of wine to a technician!!  I would be mortified now that I know what it tastes like if we had given it as a gift.

Here is what David thought of Scary Clown Wine (aka Naso Rosso): “You are right.  This is a terrible bottle of wine.  You nailed the essential problem areas; cough syrup, sugar, and grape Kool-Aid/grape juice elements. This is a wine that exists in the spectrum of the Jewish religious table wines – the Manishewitz that I tasted in my youth comes to mind.  But this is probably even worse than that.  This is definitely BAD.  I am sure someone out there will enjoy it…  But it is not us.  It would probably get you drunk if it is a cold night and you are on the streets”.

But then we considered all of the other places (other than on the streets) you could be where you might be wanting a bottle of wine – in a house, an apartment, a hotel room, a teepee, a tiny house, a balcony, a TENT…  If you are in any of those places, do not get this wine.  Trust us.

It is rare that we even think of dumping out a bottle of wine.  We drank about four drinks of Scary Clown and then agreed that we had to do something we had never done before – THROW OUT A JUST OPENED BOTTLE OF WINE.  Yes, it was that crappy.

Yes, it was THAT BAD.

If you live in Ohio and you go to Trader Joe’s buy ANY OTHER WINE instead of this.  And if you live in a state other than TJ’s and cannot find this wine in your store, you can thank your lucky stars.

David and I agreed that this wine deserves .25 stars.  And trust me, the stars are not for the actual WINE.  They are for the scary clown artwork. 

Rating - .25

Price – $9.99

(Shopper alert:  GET EMMA PEARL WINE instead!  It is only $3.99 and got a 5 star review here:  Emma Pearl

Bonus photo!  Us at the circus, Dulles, VA

Note:  Laurello Vineyards, I am sorry to diss your wine so badly.  I wanted to like it, honestly I did!!  I looked at your website (Laurello Vineyards ) and you look like a lovely vineyard!!  I imagine that the other wines you produce taste much better than Scary Clown.  (It DOES worry me a bit, though, that you classify Naso Rosso as “semi sweet”…  I told David that and he said, “God help us when they get to the sweet ones if that is semi sweet!”.)  Anyway, I am willing to let bygones be bygones.  If we ever end up in your neck of the woods, I will pop in for a tasting.  Let’s be clear, NOT a tasting of Scary Clown, but of your other wines!  J )

2nd bonus photo - us at Circus Vargas in San Diego, CA.  See - I TOLD you we go to lots of circuses!

Incorrect Labeling...

There are 2 Trader Joe's products that have the nutritional labeling ALL WRONG.  Well, in our opinion anyway...  Normally TJ's hits the nail pretty much on the head with their "serving size" recommendation, but on 2 of their products they are waaaaaay off...  They are:

Caramel and Cheddar Popcorn Mix (formerly known as Chicago Style Popcorn)
Caramel and Cheddar Popcorn mix review here

and

Pico de Gallo Salsa
Hot Pico de Gallo Salsa review here
The portion sizes listed on the labels are LAUGH OUT LOUDable!

I could eat this everyday.  

David with one of his favorite snacks (before TJ's changed the name of this product)

First off, the popcorn.  "About 6 servings".  SIX SERVINGS???  Are you KIDDING me Trader Joe's??  Anyone who has the self control to split this bag into 6 servings should be knighted or given sainthood.  This bag is 2.5 servings.  :)

And the SALSA, I said it before and I will say it again, the idea of this salsa container holding 10 servings is INSANE.  10 servings for 10 Barbie dolls PERHAPS, but 10 servings for any humans with TJ's blue chips to dip in them???  AIN'T NO WAY.  This tub holds exactly TWO servings of salsa for this human.

Are there are TJ's products that you buy that seem "off" on the serving size listed??  These are the two that get me every time.

And now that I have finished the popcorn and the salsa, I need to make another run to Trader Joe's!!

Popcorn in a Pickle - IT'S BAAAACK!

Summer must be coming, because POPCORN IN A PICKLE is back on the shelves at Trader Joe's!  Yes siree, the snack that sounds disgusting but is actually very tasty is BACK!  Same weird taste, same price ($1.99).  Check out what we thought of it when we got it last year:

original review here

I saw it on the shelves recently in California, but didn't want to announce it in public here until I checked to see if it was "only a California thing" or if the rest of us were also lucky enough to snag some.  Turns out it is here in Virginia, too, so I am going to declare it POPCORN IN A  PICKLE SEASON!

Here is David last year, he was nervous about this snack...  But after we tried it, turns out, WE LIKE IT!!

If you tried it before, you know the first bite is odd but it gets yummy after that.  If you haven't tried it, go for it.  It is a strange taste sensation and fun to eat!

But get it soon.  Cuz you don't want to be like our friend Tony, and go to get a bag only to find it is G-O-N-E and won't come back for another year...

Sad Tony, no Popcorn in a Pickle to be found...

New Zealand Sweet Apple Rings

I bought this bag of dried apples at the Omaha, Nebraska Trader Joe’s but ended up bringing with us on a long flight to Los Angeles.  I thought, “Dried fruit will be great to munch on while on the flight or while driving from LA to Palm Springs!”.  It turns out, in David’s mind at least, I was oh so wrong…

From New Zealand - they must be exotic and delicious, right????

I have to confess that the MARKETING message swayed my purchase.  I am embarrassed to admit it, but the fact that these were not just “apple rings” but NEW ZEALAND Sweet Apple Rings did make me think they might taste exotic, fancy, New Zealand-y.  The front of the package says they are Braeburn, Royal Gala, and “Seasonal Varieties” of apples, but if you read the fine print on the back you see that “seasonal varieties” must mean Fuji and Pink Lady apples.  I guess TJ’s thinks “seasonal varieties” sounds sexier than listing them all out, and that must’ve worked on me, cuz I bought ‘em.

And David was not a fan.  Here is what he said, “No likey.  It’s not pungent.  It’s dry.  Leathery.  A little big cardboard-y.  It has none of the juiciness, none of the tartness, none of the FLAVOR that makes an apple worth chewing.  Umm…  It has a lot of PULPINESS (said with a disgusted look on face…) if you like that sort of thing…  I do not like these.  They taste a little bit of some desiccating agent that maybe they sprinkled on it…  I don’t know what that would be.  Maybe some sugar, salty, some sort of FLAVORING??  (When I explained they are unsulfured and unsweetened, he retorted “Well then I guess they are just naturally UNTASTY!”).  They have all the flavor of a Red Delicious apple (which David dislikes…).  I give them a 1.”

Us at the wedding in Palm Springs, CA.  We disagreed on the dried apples, but agreed that the wedding was lovely.

I did not think they were as horrible as David did.  We do not normally buy dried apples.  I think I have only had them before as little squares in dried fruit mixes (not from TJ’s).  And those little apple square bits were always my favorites in the mix!  I would pick them out of the bag and eat them first. They were always tasty and somehow JUICY, even though they were DRIED, and had a good texture.  So when I saw this bag at TJ’s that was JUST THE APPLES, I thought BINGO, a whole bag of the best part of dried fruit mixes!!   Sadly, these are not as good as the little squares I remember from my youth.

Omaha TJ's signage.  I think David would disagree with the "sweet and lovely" part.
And, umm, why is there a squirrel playing a banjo on the sign?

I disagree with David’s “cardboard-y” assessment.  I think they do have moisture in them, but they do not have a lot of taste.  They are a little boring and bland.  You would NOT want to eat the whole big ass 8 oz bag in one sitting.  David ate ONE apple ring on the airplane and I had to force feed him one more on the car ride just to get his review.  The package says the serving size is ten rings, but David theory is that if you ate ten of them you would throw up.  J  (He exaggerates if you ask me, they are not that bad.) 

David was the officiant of the wedding.  Check out how well he tied his bow tie!!

I think if you have kids and you pack a lunch for them, you could put 4 or 5 of these apple rings into a Tupperware container or baggy for a healthy dessert or snack.  (David says if you pack these in a kid’s lunch it is child abuse…)   Or if you work at a desk I can see eating 4 or 5 of these in the afternoon with a cup of tea.  You might be able to bake with them, but I haven’t tried that.  I think I will sneak some of these in David’s lunchbox when he is not looking.  I suspect they will still be in there when he gets home, unless he cons an unsuspecting coworker into eating them. 

I give these a 2.75.

Since David was so down on these things, I thought it would be good to get a 3^rd opinion, so I chose Adelaide.  She just turned 2 and was attending the same wedding in Palm Springs that we went to.  Being only 2 years old, she doesn’t really TALK all that much…  But I gave her some apple rings and she really liked ‘em!!!  She two fisted it for a while – apple ring in each hand.  And she was happy to put a few apple rings in her dad’s pocket so she could eat more later (her shorts had fake pockets (fockets) so she couldn’t tote the rings around herself).  Anyway, Adelaide thought they were really yummy.  If she could talk and knew her numbers, I think she would give them a 4. 

Adelaide helped me with a bit of artwork

Would I buy them again for US?  No.  Would I buy them again if Adelaide and her brother and sister came to visit?  Sure enough.

Adelaide taking a quick dip in the pool with her dad

Price – $3.49

Rating (average of 3 raters, one of which was too little to give her own score so I had to surmise it…) – 2.5

TJ's Neighbor Share Program - It's AMAZING!

Once again, my world's of KINDNESS and TRADER JOE'S collide midstream!!

Have you ever noticed a store hanging at your local Trader Joe's that talks about DONATIONS?  I saw them as we traveled around and popped into Trader Joe's all over the country last year.  I SAW the signs, but I didn't really PAY ATTENTION to them...

Most stores have these signs, but I never paid attention to them.  Until now!

So recently I decided to ask some questions and figure out what in the world TJ's donates.  I was very happy I asked, because it turns out they not only have cool employees, great food at good prices, and awesome wine - they also are SUPER KIND TO THEIR COMMUNITIES!!

Seriously, next time you shop at TJ's just take a second to thank them.  Not all stores bother to give back to the neighbors, but TJ's sure does.

Read about their Neighbor Share program at the link below and be inspired!

Donating Kindness

Thank You note hanging in the Clarendon store from a thankful artist.  :)

Extraordinary Eggs Marbled Chocolates

It is a new season, spring, and you know what that means:  SEASONAL PRODUCTS AT TRADER JOE’S!  Granted, springtime does not bring with it the plethora of products that autumn does (can you say PUMPKIN anyone??), but none-the-less, it is exciting to see different, limited time offerings on the shelves.

oops - a bit blurry - sorry.

And of course I need to try and review at least one seasonal product!  Which is why I invested in these Extraordinary Eggs Marbled Chocolates!  I say “invested” because at $4.99, these are more expensive than your average Easter candy J (think hollow waxy chocolate bunny or hard as a rock jelly beans…).

They are EXTRAORDINARY - it says so right in the product name!

I had seen these at our local Northern Virginia Trader Joe’s, so when I was perusing the shelves this week at the Omaha, Nebraska TJ’s I had them on my (mental) grocery  list.  Oddly though, I couldn’t find them.  They weren’t on the “new products” end cap, nor were they in the fancy ass chocolate section.  So I asked and was led to them – hidden in an unfortunate area by the cookies over the frozen foods.  I would say put those suckers out where people can see them and get excited about them, but maybe the Omaha store was trying to do the whole “hide the Easter egg” thing…

Anyway, I was in charge of making a nice dinner for some of my family members and a friend, so these fancy eggs were part of that event.  I gave every person one beautiful chocolate egg in a dainty little bright colored bowl at their place setting.  They were lovely!  In fact, they were SO LOVELY that at least two people at the dinner thought they were WOODEN EASTER DECORATIONS!!  J  No lie!

A small photo of a small egg in a small bowl

Here is how these pretty little eggs went down:

Me:  First off, they are gorgeous.  The “painting” on the outside coating is like artwork.  I like that they were SHINY, too.  The green ones looked BLUE to me - like robin eggs with little spots.  There are 16 eggs in a package, and the packaging itself is also very pretty – it almost looks like the treats are riding in a delicate little gold egg carton.  There are 4 different flavors of eggs – almond praline, caramel, raspberry, and crispy cookies.  By the time I finished dinner (which was all Trader Joe’s food, of course…) I really was not hungry for dessert, but the eggs are tiny and so I could “squeeze one in”.  It was quite yummy!  I thought they were rich and delicious.  They are from France and really taste like quality chocolate (not, as mentioned above, like the crappy Easter candy of my youth).  (Note:  not that my youth was bad!!  But these eggs are to the jelly beans of my youth as a 1972 Ford Pinto is to a 2016 Prius J ).  The package says a serving size is 3 eggs, which seems like tooooo many to me.  One was plenty, and I can see someone eating two.  But three would be overkill.  I think these would make a wonderful gift.   I would give these a 4.75, the high score representing their beauty as much as the taste.

These are real robin eggs in a nest at my house, but don't they look like the Extraordinary Eggs at Trader Joe's?

Jordan (my nephew): “ I enjoyed the fact that these Easter eggs looked like REAL EGGS, not candy.  I tried hard to separate mine into 4 bites so I could show everyone what was inside. When I bit it, it did not crumble apart.  These are very well made.  I savored each bite.  I don’t think that I could eat more than one, it was so rich, but delicious.  I would give these a 4.”

Jordan, carefully biting his egg into pieces to show us the inside of it

Sherry (my sister):  “These are very good.  They are PRETTY.  They are not your typical Easter candy looking egg.  I would give them a 4.5.”

Sherry, enjoying her Extraordinary Egg

Zach (Jordan’s partner):  “I thought the eggs were very good.  They were very rich and chocolately.  I like the way they look, too, they are very pretty.  I would give these a solid 3.”

Abhishek (new friend from India):  “I found these were DECEIVING!  I thought it was a showpiece, but it turned out to be CHOCOLATE!!!  I would give them a 3.25.”

Jim:  “I thought the same thing Abhishek did!  I thought they were wooden and I was pleasantly surprised that they didn’t taste like WOOD!  I would give them a 4.”

Sherry and Jim:  "These are muuuuch better than a Cadbury egg.  And much better than a Brach’s egg!"

Everyone at the dinner party:  THESE ARE MUCH BETTER THAN A WOODEN EGG!

This is a classic photo of my sisters and I one Easter.  Sherry is rocking a hat. Annette is standing in a fashion model pose. And me?  Well, I look like I must have had to pee.

I am pleased to say that I have a few of these eggs to bring home to David when I return!  He will be very happy with them I am sure.  I recommend you buy a package before TJ's runs out of them.  They are a sweet way to celebrate the arrival of springtime. 

Price: $4.99 (which is more than a hollow chocolate Easter bunny from the drug store, but when you do the math each little beautiful egg is only .31 cents!)
Rating (average of 6 raters): 4

Note:  Trader Joe’s has similar looking chocolates in the shape of marbles.  I suspect they are the same, but have not tried those.  But if you buy these egg shaped ones and get addicted, I think you can get your fill with the marble shaped ones when the eggs are out of season J . 

Life is Short - Buy the Tulips

Life is short.
Buy the damn tulips.
(Or fancy seasonal lotion or oranges that are only out for 2 weeks a year...)

You get what I'm saying.  Sometimes life is worth a little SPLURGE. A couple of weeks ago I bought the tulips at Trader Joe's even though I feared they were a bit more than I should be spending at the moment.

And look what happened.

GORGEOUS

THEY BLOOMED.  And they brought smiles, joy, and beauty to our home.

Who knows, it might be too late for this particular purchase.  But the next time you are at TJ's and you see a seasonal item that you are not sure if you should go for, just do it.  Buy the tulips, man.

P.S.- here is the original review of this product:  tulips bulbs in glass vase