Pumpkin Spice Biocellulose Face Masks

I am feeling down this weekend – my heart hurts and my eyes are tired from crying because we got bad news in our family this week. 

I’ve decided to take a break from crying to think about something FUNNY – Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Biocellulose Facial Masks.  Let me say that again for you, PUMPKIN SPICE FACE MASKS.

If you shop at Trader Joe’s, you know this is the time of year when the shelves there are flooded with pumpkin crap.  There is pumpkin ravioli.  Pumpkin ice cream.  Pumpkin coffee.  Pumpkin everything.  But pumpkin FACE MASKS???  Now that is just a/ step too far, my friends.  Trader Joe’s, you have officially jumped the shark.

So, of course, I bought them!  I picked up 2, thinking I would force my sisters into being guinea pigs and trying them.  Only one of my sisters was too smart to spend the night on the night I was busting them out, which was BAD NEWS for my nephew, cuz he had to fill her spot!  Lucky for me, Trevor is a really good sport.

Trev has a full beard, and I wasn’t sure how well the mask would work on the facial hair, so for HIM I turned it upside down and put the MOUTH hole up on his bald head, then covered his face down to his beard with the mask.

The brave product testers

As the pretend esthetician for the event – my take on these masks was “Ewwww”.  First off, they are STINKY.  Secondly, they are SLIMY.  And thirdly, you have to peel not 1 but 2 pieces of goo off the sides to get to the actual product.  They are messy to put on.  After touching them a lot they made my fingers STINK.  They smelled like a gross over-powering autumn candle that would be an ugly brown color. 

Even before OPENING these they sounded smelly...

Now let’s hear what the product testers had to say!  First up was my nephew Trevor:  “I do not usually use facial products.  I wash my face every day but never put lotion on it.  To be blunt, I didn’t really enjoy the experience of this mask…  When it got put on it smelled like a mix of Bath and Body Works and fake vomit.  And a little bit of spicy pumpkin.”  After I took his mask off and rubbed in any remaining goo (there was not much, most of it seemed to soak in) I asked Trev how it felt.  “It feels fine I guess.  I mean, I don’t have anything to compare it to.  I have never used these products before.  I probably will not be using this again in the future.  I don’t especially like this.  I don’t like the feeling of my face being greasy.  If I am going to use a facial product I would rather it be CLEANSING.  I would not buy this product.  I hate to give it an awful score because maybe it is good at what it is intended to DO, but I am not the target audience.  To be generous, I will give it a .75.”

Tester #1 - not a fan

Soooo, Trevor was not a fan.  Maybe my sister, who actually LIKES beauty products, will like it!!  I didn’t tell her the scent before I put it on.  Let’s see what she thought.

Sherry: “I use face products, but I only use face masks when my sisters are all together.  I did not like the SMELL of this face mask at all.  I thought it smelled like a funeral home.  Like, the overpowering smell of flowers or something trying to disguise a smell.   Once you told me it was Pumpkin Spice scented I could tell – I mean – it was spicy.  But it doesn’t at all smell like pumpkin, just spice.  It smells like a spice cake or something.  I didn’t like the smell of it at all.  And I didn’t like the feel of it on.  And I didn’t like the feel when it got taken off.  I have had other face masks before and this wasn’t that different, but it made me feel SLIMY.  I want to go wash my face and I am afraid I will have zits tomorrow.  I wouldn’t buy it again, unless I was buying it for someone’s Christmas stocking…  (Note:  our family makes funny gag stockings, and now I fear I know what might be in mine…)  I am not a huge fan of masks.  People who buy it are probably people who like pumpkin spice and face masks.  I don’t like this.  I will give this a 2.”

Tester #2, also not going to stock up on this product

There you have it folks.  I as the applier and both testers thought this one was a big F-A-I-L.  If you like pumpkin and you like spice, there are pleeeenty of other things to spend your money on at Trader Joe’s this fall.  Leave this one on the shelf!

Price:  $2.99 (so not worth it)

Score:  1.5

But don't buy it

Here's what to look for

Day 334- Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin Seeds

Confession:  I bought this product because I thought it was the most over the top, jumped the shark, ridiculous PUMPKIN PRODUCT that Trader Joe’s could possibly make.  If there is ONE THING in the world that DOES NOT NEED pumpkin spice, it is PUMPKIN SEEDS!  I thought, “Get real, Trader Joe’s!  You have taken it tooooo far this time with your pumpkin obsession!”.

Huh?  Why put PUMPKIN SPICE on PUMPKIN SEEDS?

Here is what the bag looks like

I packed up this ridiculous bag of Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin Seeds and brought it with me to Omaha, Nebraska, where we were heading for the Thanksgiving holiday and to celebrate my dad’s birthday.  Then I enlisted several family members to be guest reviewers!!  Here is what everyone thought:

Me:  I actually like these better than I expected.  I like regular pumpkin seeds but thought the concept of putting “pumpkin spice” on them would do nothing but ruin them.  Luckily, it turns out the “pumpkin spice” just sort of tastes like a sugar coating.  They are sort of nice!  I think one bag per pumpkin season might be enough, but they aren’t something that you should purposely avoid.  I would give them a 3.75. 

Annette (my sister) – “I wasn’t if I was going to like them when I heard the name “Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin Seeds”.  But I don’t taste pumpkin spice.  I do taste something sugary, I am not sure what.  Probably just SUGAR.  Sugary sugar!  They are very, very yummy!  I would top a salad with these or just eat them as a snack.  I wish they had a little bit more salt. They have a coating like you find on a sugar coated almond.  I would give these a 4.5.”

Mid bite - Annette taste testing Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin Seeds.

 Zach (partner of my nephew Jordan) – “I like ‘em.  I normally – with pumpkin seeds I prefer them to be more savory than sweet.  But these are obviously sweet - they have a distinctive kind of sugary crust on them.   As far as pumpkin spice is concerned, it is not particularly overwhelming.  I think it is kind of absent mostly.  They remind me of Bavarian spiced nuts.  Overall, I think these are pretty good.  I would personally give these a 2.75.” 

Zach, co-host of the gathering and a pretty hard scorer.

Trevor (my nephew, he wasn’t excited to try these because he doesn’t like pumpkin spice) – “They are alright.  Nothing to write home about.  I don’t really taste pumpkin spice.  I dunno…  I am trying to decide what I taste…  hmmm…  They are kind of addictive but I am not sure why!  They are alright.  But I am not a big SEED guy, so…  They are not BAD, but they are just not that GOOD.  I give them a 2.5.”

Dang - Trevor is a tough grader, too!

Elizabeth (partner of my nephew Trevor) and Hadley (their 5 month old daughter, who didn’t actually taste the pumpkin seeds cuz she doesn’t have any teeth yet…) – “They are good.  They taste like coated sunflower seeds.  I do not taste pumpkin spice.  But I can’t tell you what it tastes like though…  I would give them a 4.”

Not a great photo of Elizabeth and baby Hadley was sleeping, shhhhh

Nate (my nephew) – (note:  Nate tried these without knowing what in the world he was eating, we didn’t tell him what they were) “These taste like those sugared peanuts that Grandma Mary used to make.  But they are not peanuts.  I think they are PUMPKIN SEEDS.  (I asked if he tasted any pumpkin SPICE)  Nope.  No pumpkin spice.  But they are not bad.  They have too much flavor to put on top of chicken or something, but I would eat them by themselves.  I would give them a 3.75.”

Nate is the king of funny faced photos

David – “I think it is great that these have the advantage of slight sugar but they do not give up the saltiness that you need for the nut-ness.  I like ‘em!  I am gonna give ‘em a 4.5.”

David likes 'em!  And isn't the Christmas tree behind him gorgeous???

Well, it is unanimous – Pumpkin Spiced Pumpkin Seeds DO NOT taste of pumpkin spice.  And all reviewers agreed, they are better for that.  I guess I am not the only one who thinks that the flavor of “pumpkin spice” is over used and over rated! 

I am not sure if you can still find these at TJ’s this season, since the shelves have morphed into a chocolate filled holiday wonderland.  But if they are gone this year and you see them next October, do not be scared off by the name – “pumpkin spice” is nowhere to be tasted.

Price – $2.99

Rating (average of all raters listed above) – 3.75