200,000 VIEWS and ADDENDUM TO HEAD to TOE Moisturizing Balm

MY BLOG REACHED 200,000 VIEWS!  I knew it was coming – I hoped it would happen before we rush off to Canada (land of nooo Trader Joe’s….) again in a couple of days.  Then late last night it became apparent it was gonna happen OVERNIGHT…  Well, I like to take a photo of momentous times with the blog, and 200,000 is an awfully momentous number, so I needed a PICTURE.  But how?  In the middle of the night??  It was momentous, but not quite momentous enough to stay up ALL OVER and hit “refresh, refresh, refresh” repeatedly until the magic number appeared.  So, I did the next best thing – grabbed a photo in the location where I knew I would be when 200,000 rolled around – in my cozy bed!

WHEEEE - 200,000 HITS!  Who'd a thunk?

HAPPY 200,000 VIEWS, EVERYBODY!

To celebrate, let’s review something, shall we???

Well, instead of a brand new review, how about we do an ADDENDUM to the most read product review ever on this blog – HEAD TO TOE MOISTURIZING BALM (a product which boasts on the lid, a boast which it turns out is completely a lie, of no greasy residue…).  I do not know why or how this particular product review became so popular – it alone currently has 2,901 hits.  You can read the original review here:  Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm

Let's take another look back at Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm,
which got a clunker of a review way back on day 89 of this blog

As the product NAME implies – this is supposedly meant to be used HEAD to TOE – i.e. on your whole entire body.  And as the original review explains, I tried it on every part of my body I could:  my lips, my skin, and my hair.  However, I do NOT have a beard or mustache to try this balm on, so I couldn’t give it a COMPLETE test.

That is, until KARIM and Carrie stayed at our house!!!  You see, they are performers, and Karim has grown an outstanding mustache for their summer tour.  ENTER HEAD TO TOE MOISTURIZNG BALM!!! 

I asked Karim if he would do me the honor of trying it on his mustache, and he was more than happy to.  Here is his review:

“I think it’s ok.  I guess it depends on what your use is for it.  I would give it a solid B.”  (Editor’s note:  it is obvious that Karim does not read this blog.  That’s alright buddy, I will cut you some slack.  This is where I had to explain that I rate things numerically, not alphabetically like a report card…)

Karim is a true PROFESSIONAL - he travels with a mustache comb!!!

“Well, what am I reviewing this on the BASIS of??  What is its PURPOSE??” Karim pleaded.  (Editor here again:  damn, Karim is a serious guy!  I explained that he was reviewing it on the basis of “fly away mustache” (the tin mentions fly away beard, and not being familiar with facial hair I figured if it applies to a beard it must apply to a mustache, right???) 

“If the purpose of it is to STYLE my mustache I would give it a 0.  However, if the purpose is to SOFTEN my mustache and maybe just get it out of my LIPS a little bit, and give it like a SUBTLE SHAPE – I give it a 2.5.  It doesn’t really do much.  It is not a big difference.  It sort of changed the direction of the ‘stache, from down to sideways…  (David noted here that the product might be a good mustache TRAINING TOOL….)  Right – before you are ready for the FULL MUSTACHE WAX.  I would not buy this.”  (Carrie, Karim’s wife, pointed out that you can pick up real mustache wax for around the same price at CVS, thought I would implore you not to rub THAT on every part of your body like this product claims you should.)

Karim and Carrie in their show "Darlings" - "Peter Pan" from Mr. and Mrs. Darling's point of view.
Check out Karim's mustache!!

Honestly, I thought he was more keen on the balm than that…  But it turns out, even as a mustache styling product, this still sucks.  Oh well, you can’t say I haven’t given this product the complete test!!!! 

Price – $3.99

Rating (average of Karim’s 2 scores -  0 and 2.5):  1.25

P.S. - Karim and Carrie are terrific performers.  If their company, Animal Engine, is in your town be sure to check them out!  They are currently touring the show "Darlings".  Follow them on Facebook here:  Animal Engine

Black Bean Rotini

This is a new Trader Joe’s product.  I found it on an end cap (you know, those shelves on the end of an aisle that retailers use to get your attention to sell you stuff).  I need to pause here to say this:  I do NOT read other online reviews of Trader Joe’s products before we try them. I do not want our opinions to be in any way influenced by what other people think of products.  However, you can bet your sweet bippy that as soon as I finished writing this review I am gonna check and see what other people thought about Trader Joe’s Black Bean Crap-ini – errr, I mean Rotini!!  But before I can begin my review, let me just say this:  if anyone else gave this a GOOD review, they are either getting paid by Trader Joe’s or they are drunk.  This is a super shi**y product. 

See this?  Don't buy it.

This is a horrible product.

We bought this rotini at our Northern Virginia Trader Joe’s.  It seemed interesting!  We planned on making the recipe for the shrimp pasta dish on the back of the bag, but we didn’t have time to make it at home, so we brought the crap-ini with us to Florida.  Last night we followed the recipe on the back of the bag, but we had to improvise a bit since there is not a Trader Joe’s near us here.  Instead of using TJ’s “Mushroom Medley” or “Roasted Peppers and Onions”, we used fresh mushrooms, peppers, and onions.  We didn’t have a jar of TJ’s Alfredo Sauce with us (which got a great review in this blog here ) so we bought another brand of sauce.  And instead of using TJ’s frozen shrimp, we went to a special fish store (Hull’s in Ormond Beach, FL, which rocks!) and bought fresh local shrimp.  Yes, we put a lot of heart into this meal…

The part we made – the veggies, sauce, and shrimp – was really good.

The pasta part – the Black Bean Rotini – was DISGUSTING.

Even David didn't like it.

Luckily we TASTED it before we poured our delectable sauce over it!  I would have been steaming mad if that excuse for a pasta had ruined the tasty sauce we made!!  I almost barfed when I tasted it, then we literally THREW IT AWAY.  We had made half a package and we pitched all of it into the garbage can.  We do NOT throw food away – there are too many people who go to bed hungry, and we do not have money to waste.  But that stuff was too gross to eat…  I taped up the other half of the bag and put it in our stuff to bring back home with us so that we can return it to Trader Joe’s.  And you can bet I will give them a link to this review when we return it so they can see exactly what we thought of it. 

I call it “Black Sh*t Rotini” instead of Black Bean Rotini.   We ended up eating our lovely shrimp sauce over leftover, reheated rice, and that was way better than the crapini!! 

The Black Bean Crapini was interesting LOOKING, but that is the only positive thing I can say about it.  It is a horrible texture in your mouth and the taste of it is soooo bad!!!  I mean, I like me some black beans, and I love me some pasta, but THIS, this ain’t either of those things!!  I give this product a big, fat ZERO (and I think only 2 other things have gotten a zero in this blog – the super disgusting Pumpkin Scones ( reviewed here ) and the undrinkable Cranberry Juice ( gross juice reviewed here ).  Heck, even that yucky Coconut Water got a .75, the Cherry Cider that tasted like drinking cough syrup got a 1.75 ( coconut water review here ), and the most ever read review on this blog, the “Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm” eeked out a 1.5 ( read this review before you invest in this head to toe crap ) !!

This coconut water was pretty rank, but it was still better than Black Bean Rotini...  Review here

Here is what David thought of it:  “I would have to concur with what Susan said.  It is BAD.  I mean, not as bad as rancid meat or fish, but the consistency is PASTY…  And then it is nothing like a PASTA…  There was nothing appealing at all in the taste.  I am a guy who rarely throws stuff out, but I didn’t want to eat it at all.  I would rather just find something else to eat, which is what we did.

Maybe, if you are a, you know, some sort of a vegan-loving straight-up masochistic vegetarian who likes things that taste bad, then this Black Bean Rotini will be appealing!!    I mean, I love me some bean thread noodles!  You can make noodles out of beans that are tasty…  But this???  Oh my God…

But this is a win!  This is a good news story.  TJ’s rotating stock encouraged us to try something NEW, which we did, and even though we didn’t like it, we are going to be able to take it back, give them our feedback, and get our money back.  That’s why we love Trader Joe’s!  I would have to give it a zero, too.”

We will take our money back for this one please.

Well, it looks like this is one that David and I agree on -- it is one of the worst Trader Joe’s products that we have tasted.  We very rarely use Trader Joe’s liberal return policy, but if annnnything deserves your money back, it is this bag of crap.  Seriously, if you have not figured it out yet from the rest of this review, this black bean pasta is horrible.  #NewProductFAIL. 

No, we did not overcook it.  But it was not a winner in our book.
Sorry for the crude photo, but this product angered me a bit.  :) 

Price – $2.99

Rating - 0

Day 365 - FINAL OFFICIAL DAY and review of Blason de Bourgogne Brut Reserve Crement de Bourgogne Burgundy

THIS IS IT!!  I can seriously say, I DID IT.  365 days.  1 product EVERY.  SINGLE.  DAY.  A whole year!  Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!

Let’s look at a few stats:

·         I took at least 1,850 photos for this project. I say “at least” because I do not have an exact count.  I tried to keep them organized in a folder but sometimes life just got too out of control, so some are thrown about in other places on my laptop.  Many of them were featured in the blog, some were total duds and never saw the light of day, until now…  J

Florida Lager - scary in the store for some reason, but never reviewed...

"Scary Clown" wine - never reviewed

English Breakfast Tea - never reviewed

·         Each entry took an average of 45 – 50 minutes to write (I think).  If we add all of those together, I spent around 304 hours this year writing this blog.  That is ALMOST THIRTEEN FULL DAYS (if I worked round the clock) just to WRITE the blog (not counting taking photos, cooking, tasting…)

·         55 guest reviewers participated (counting each guest reviewer only once even if they tasted on more than one day)

Guest reviewer Elizabeth

·         Of the 55 guest reviewers, at least 8 of them were complete strangers before I asked them to participate  J

·         One review was in ASL see it here

·         I reviewed 29 wines (that is almost a full month of wine!) (30 wines if you count today's review!!)

Wine is Fine

·         One review was via Skype see it here

·         35 products got coveted 5 star reviews!

·         Only 2 products got 0 star reviews – Cranberry Juice (here) and Pumpkin Scones (here )

Poopy Pumpkin Scones

·         The blog keeps a running tally of the 10 most popular posts.  I am proud that as of the moment I am writing that list is really varied!  It contains 1 pasta, 1 fish, 3 toiletry items, 1 snack food, 3 wines, and one chocolate!!  The bottom 1 or 2 entries change frequently.

·         The entry with the most views BY FAR is the one about Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm.  It sucked as a product (1.5 stars) but people must really like that review cuz it has 1,843 views.  J  You can see it here:  here.

For some reason this review is super popular

·         We visited 24 Trader Joe’s stores this year

OMAHA Trader Joe's

·         We visited Trader Joe’s stores in 11 states (plus one District) this year

·         Of all of those visits, only one store (Clarendon, VA) and TJ’s corporate replied to letter I sent to each one (except Jacksonville Beach – your letter is coming)

·         I met one reader in person this year – Ttrockwood, in Chelsea, NYC (see her here)

·         I did reusable bag and honey exchanges with 2 other readers this year (a 3^rd was tentatively scheduled but cancelled due to circumstances beyond our control).

A reader SENT me these!!!  So nice!!!

·         I gave away around 120 business cards for the blog (I am not a great marketer…).

·         One review featured a video of an original song about bacon

• And final stat - as of this morning, the blog has surpassed 75,000 total hits!!!

And now, with n further ado, drum roll please…  May I present, with a couple of tears, the FINAL REVIEW for this year long Trader Joe’s 365 review project!!!

I decided to close out this amazing project with a bang - well, with a BUBBLY!!!  We went to Trader Joe's to get a champagne to have a double celebration:  making it through the year of reviews, and NEW YEAR’S EVE!! 

David making his fancy pants hoity toity face with our "champagne" purchase

Only, we ran into a slight glitch...  The blog technically finishes TODAY, December 31, 2015, and New Year’s doesn't really happen until MIDNIGHT, making it January 1, 2016...  I couldn't wait until midnight to pop open the bubbly to review, because then I would have missed a day on the blog!

So we did the only sensible thing - WE MOVED NEW YEAR'S UP A NIGHT!  Yes siree, we celebrated New Year’s (and the blog) last night!!  (Of course we will celebrate AGAIN tonight, but for you, gentle reader, we will sacrifice and celebrate twice...) 

BREAK OUT THE BUBBLY - it's faux New Year's Eve!!

The "champagne" we chose has to have quotation marks around it, because in actuality it is a sparkling wine and not a champagne (which can only come from a specific region in France).  But hey, champagne without quotation marks was out of our budget, and maybe it is out of yours too, so we got this sparkling wine which I shall refer to as "champagne".  

After a day at the beach and an evening of putting together an Ikea Stuva (see here - who says it is just for a kid's bedroom? It screams "kitchen storage unit" to me!!) we busted out the "champagne" (Blason de Bourgogne Brut Reserve Crement de Bourgogne Burgundy) with our friend Kathy. 

Beach kindness - David "saving" a jelly fish/man o' war (he was a tiny bit alive but still floated back to the sand.
RIP little fella)

Wheee - THE BEACH!!!!

David feeding his buddies

Here is what we all thought:

Kathy - "This is light and refreshing.  It is quite nice.  I don't really know much about champagne, so I can't compare it.  So I am not comparing it to anything else, I am just taking it on its own face value.  I would give it a 4.5."

Nothing says fancy like plastic flutes.

David - "I like this better than many fancy champagnes that I have drunk.  (Editor’s note:  I think David must have drunk fancy champagnes in a former life before he was reincarnated as himself, cuz I have been hanging out with him for quite a few years now and “fancy champagnes” are not normally on his list of drinks…)   I think it is tasty in the sense that it is, as my wife says when she is referring to me, FRUITY!  And it has a lot of taste and it tastes like WINE, which is better than CHAMPAGNE, which usually to me just tastes like bubbles and effervescence, which I am sure is what it is supposed to do, but I like WINE.  So there ya go.  I will give this a 4.75."

The fancier the people are, the higher the pinky is raised.  Proven fact.  :)

Me – I like champagne.  I don’t normally have it often, and now I realize that probably what I have drunk before at places that tell me they are serving me champagne is really “champagne” (sparkling wine like this is).   I mean, if they just put it in a fancy glass and tell you it is champagne you go with it, right? 

I like this TJ’s “champagne” better than many champagnes or “champagnes” I have been served in the past because this seems lighter, fruitier, and not soooo dry.  Sometimes champagne/”champagne” has a weird thing where you are more thirsty after you drink it than before you drank it!  It is just so dryyyyy.  But this one doesn’t feel like that, and I enjoyed it. 

This “champagne” was a nice celebratory way to ring in the “New Year”.  I GIVE IT A 5.  (But I have to admit that the 5 is as much (perhaps more even more so) for the completion of this project as it is for the taste of this particular drink. 

After hearing my rating of a 5, David changed his to a 5, too! And after hearing David raise HIS score, Kathy raised HERS, too.  J  So in the end it was unanimous – A FIVE FOR THE “CHAMPAGNE” AND A FIVE FOR THE BLOG!!!  J

A TOAST TO TRADER JOE’S!  AND TO THE NEW YEAR!!!

TO TRADER JOE'S!!!!

Price – $9.99

Rating - 5

Thank you again for reading this year.  I will post infrequent reviews from this point forward, probably mostly TJ’s products that we find that we adore or make us gag.  J

But I would love to keep in contact with you and perhaps inspire you to spread some kindness with my NEW PROJECT – Kindness Activist.  Find it here:

·         Blog – KindnessActivist.blogspot.com

·         Facebook – Kindness Activist

·         Email – kindnessactivist@gmail.com

·         Twitter – @kindactivist, Kindness Activist, pw Kindness Activist 1

See you on the new kindness blog.  And in the meantime, keep shopping at Trader Joe’s!!!!  (And if you happen to see David and I shopping at a TJ’s, pleeeeease come over and say hi!!)

New year, new project :)

Day 317 - Nourish Spa Shampoo

I tried to go into testing this product with an open mind, but I must admit, I sort of expected to not like it.  My experiences with Trader Joe’s toiletry items have been, welllll, let’s just say “hit or miss” (does anyone remember Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm way back on day 89???? ( tragic review here ).  But a friend told she really likes this Nourish Spa Shampoo, and I ran out of my other shampoo, so I thought, “What the heck??!!” and picked up a bottle.

What the heck!  Why not try it??  It is day 317 of 365, it is basically now or never!

There are a few of things I need to point out before I review the shampoo:

1.       The friend who recommended it to me has very different hair than I do.  She is African American.  I don’t know much about hair other than what is on my head, but I DO know that many stores have separate hair product shelves for Caucasian hair and African American hair…  So when she recommended this for me, part of me thought, “Joi are you NUTS?” and the other part of me thought, “Joi, this could be hilarious!” but no part of me really thought, “Oh great!  A shampoo that works perfectly for JOI will also work perfectly for ME!”…

This is ME.  

This is JOI.  She loves pageants. 

2.       I am NOT picky about my shampoo.  My last bottle took me an eternity to get through cuz I got a great deal on what seemed like the world’s biggest bottle of shampoo at BJ’s (which is like Sam’s Club or Costco).  It was some Herbal Essence crap.  I am also not above using the tiny hotel shampoos when I travel.  Don’t judge. 

3.       I have horrible hair.  It is the thinnest, most fine hair you can imagine (and no, in this use I do NOT mean “fine” as in, “Oh I hope Joe wins Survivor this season – he is so fiiiine…” I mean “fine” as in “Wow, you can’t even get a barrette or bobby pin to stay in your hair without slipping out because it is so F-I-N-E…” fine.  I have always had this crappy hair.  Look, even when I was a KID I had bad hair.  Oh sure, my Toni Tenille hairdo was amazing, and my pig tails that each contained about 5 hairs really rocked, but still…  Again, don’t judge.

Age 6, with the Santa I played with every Chrsitmas.  I thought my hair looked soooooo pretty in curled pig tails.  

Rockin' my Toni Tennille 'do and stylish high waisted pants by my friend Monica's
flocked Christmas tree that I coveted every year

4.       My stylist recently moved.  And I do not mean “moved to another salon” I mean MOVED FROM ONE COAST TO THE OTHER.  Rhiannon abandoned me.  And my hair looks horrible right now!  It is so shaggy.  And it is all her fault!  I neeeeed her.  What’s a girl to do??  Sigh.  Anyway, I mention her here because I want you to see how gorgeous HER hair is.  She has, in my opinion, perfect hair.  It doesn’t even matter what color she makes it – it is always amazing.  Plus, she is nice.  Damn you Rhi, why did you have to MOVE?

Isn't her hair AMAZING?  And, like, the opposite of mine. Sigh

CAPTIVATING

5

5.       I once shaved off my hair.  My mom had colon cancer and was going through chemo that made her hair fall out.  So 3 of us in the family shaved our hair in solidarity.  And you know what?  I had no idea how liberating that experience would be.  I loved it.  If you have ever considered it and not done it, go for it.  Trust me on this one – it is sorta life changing.

David and I after shaving - Kansas City

6.       And finally, my last “hair point” before I review this shampoo, I really like short hair.  Once a niece or nephew (I can’t remember who) asked very genuinely, “Aunt Susan, why do you have hair like a BOY?”.  The question didn’t hurt my feelings or offend me.  I loved that it was a teaching moment.  I DO NOT HAVE HAIR LIKE A BOY.  Because there isn’t “boy hair” and “girl hair”, just like there aren’t “boy toys” and “girl toys” or “male jobs” and “female jobs”.  There is HAIR (and no hair!).  I have hair.  I was glad to be able to model that to that child.

Ok enough hair talk – onto Trader Joe’s NOURISH SPA SHAMPOO.

Look, it's cheap!

Guess what?  I LIKE IT!!!  It really makes my hair feel clean and shiny.  It is not overly scented, though it does have a slight scent that I cannot figure out what it is.  (Note – David, who normally doesn’t even notice smells, noticed the scent of this when he tried it and he didn’t like it.  But his opinion will not be counted in this review J ).

Simple bottle, good shampoo (NOTE - I think the packaging may have changed a bit recently but it is till the same shampoo)

The bottle says “balanced moisturizing, safe for color treated hair, contains argan oil to smooth and shine, and enriched with botanticals”.  It does not contain laurel/laureth sulfates.  The conditioner I am currently using also has argan oil, and the combination of the two is making my hair super shiny these days!

TJ's Nourish Spa Shampoo in action!  It doesn't bubble up all that much, but it makes my hair feel clean!

This shampoo is not tested on animals, which is cool.  And it is super cheap, especially when compared to salon brands (sorry Rhi!).  I often buy styling products at the salon but usually pick up shampoo other places.

Overall, this is a GOOD SHAMPOO.  It cleans, doesn’t dry my hair, makes it shiny, and is cheap!  OH YAH! 

Now, I have asked my friend Joi who recommended this product to me to do a guest review, and here is what she said:

“When I decided to go with my natural hair in the spring of 2012, I opted to use only non-alcohol based products.  Searching for these gave me a slew of options with brands that would break my wallet.  Some products I tried left my hair either dry, feeling unclean or a frizzy mess.  My biggest concerns were finding a product that was a reasonable price, sulfate free, and left my hair clean and moisturized.  While in Trader Joe’s one day I decided to try their Nourish Spa Shampoo and holy moly, it was love at first lather.  Their shampoo gets nice and sudsy, cleanly rinses from my hair and leaves it soft and tangle-free with a fresh sweet scent.  The best part thought, is the price is a whopping $2.99 a bottle, which makes the 30 minute commute to my closest Trader Joe’s worth the gas.  I usually stock up on several bottles a trip that last me 6 – 8 months.  Trader Joe’s Nourish Spa Balancing Moisturizing Shampoo is 5 out of 5 in my book.”

Well what do you know - it really IS a good shampoo for all hair types!  We both really like it.  I suspect you will like it, too, and it won't empty out your wallet.  It sure is easy to do the math and average our two scores together - we both gave this product a 5!

Price – $2.99

Rating - 5

Day 89 - Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm

Yeah…  Ummmm…  Not so much…

I think I was a bit mis-lead by the NAME, but my bad for not reading the fine print before purchasing. 

But hey – we were visiting a Trader Joe’s in a city we had never been in, La Jolla, California, and I was excited to see a product I had not seen before!  So don’t be too mad at me for this incorrect purchase.

Here’s the deal – it is NAMED “Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm”.  To me, that meant like a body butter balmy sort of thing that I could use as something similar to LOTION, which I use a ton of.  Sounds perfect, right???

Pretty little tin, no??

But my first clue should have been the size of the TIN…  It is only 2 oz.    How much “head to toe moisturizing” action are you gonna get out of a mere 2 oz?? 

But really, I should have read the fine print.  Right there on the top of the tin, in teeny tiny fancy letters, it says, “This moisturizing balm works wonderfully on chapped lips, dry elbows and knees, heels, over-worked hands and cuticles.   It’s also great for fly-away hair or even fly away beard!”

Don’t get me wrong – I like a good multi-use product.  But a product you can put on your LIPS and also your HAIR seems a bit, welllll, stretching it… 

Not only does the sign say "NEW", it also says "exciting"!!  :)

So I set about TESTING it.

I have tried it on my lips – works fine.

I have tried it on my legs after shaving – it is awkward…  It is a hard balm in a tin, much like some hair goo I have had before and really liked.  It is hard to get OUT of the tin – I had to dig a finger down into the goo and pull a hunk up, then rub it between my palms before applying.  Basically, I was a gooey mess just from trying to moisturize my legs.

I tried it on my hands, but no thanks.   I mean, I USE A BOATLOAD of lotion and hand creams, but this is too gooey to be functional.  You just want to wash your hands after you get it put on, and that sort of defeats the whole purpose of having put it on in the first place, no?

And, just for the sake of this blog, I tried it on my hair.  (Oh the things I do for this blog…)  It worked quite well on my short, spiky doo. 

Not bad as a hair product!

For the record – I do not have a BEARD to try it on so I cannot attest to whether it would be good for “fly away beard” as advertised.

If you want it for a hair product, go for it.  At $3.99 it is cheaper than most.  But if you are buying it expecting to be able to actually use it from HEAD TO TOE like the name says, you are going to be disappointed.

NOTE:  This product review has an ADDENDUM!!  I found someone with an amazing mustache to help me by trying it out!  See his opinion here:  Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm Addendum
Price – $3.99

Rating – 1.5