Fruit Fancies

If you are new to Trader Joe’s, you may not know about HOLIDAY PRODUCTS.  Oh, November and December are magical months at Trader Joe’s!!  Products appear on the shelves that you have never seen before (or at least haven’t seen since last holiday season)!!  The die hards (like me) rush to Trader Joe’s as soon as word gets out that the holiday items are trickling in.  And each trip to the grocery store turns into an exciting journey – what will I find this time?  What will be new?  What special treat will make its way into my cart???

It was in that holiday haze that the FRUIT FANCIES made their way into our lives. 

Aren't they pretty?  And don't they look FANCY?  I mean, the word FANCY is right there in the NAME!

Do you think the sign maker at the Fairfax Virginia store had tasted these and KNEW they were not fancy, thus made them this pretty non-fancy sign?  That's my theory.  It was a SIGN...  A sign I should have paid attention to...

What can I say, I was smitten???  They looked good to me for some reason…  Sure, they seemed sort of like “Grandma and Grandpa” treats.  Or like little rolled up turds covered in sesame seeds and coconut.  But the BOX – oh man – the BOX they came in was lovely!  It had dovetailed corners!  The box is what sold me.  That, and the fact that we were heading to Omaha to celebrate the holidays, and we would be staying with my dad and his wife, who are not only Grandparents, they are Great-Grandparents!  So even if this treat was “Grandparent food”, we would be sharing it with actual grandparents, so all would be good!

I asked my dad to make a funny face.  He did.  I love it.  

Only, we never got around to eating them in Omaha…  So, they came back, unopened, then made their way to Florida!  “We will bring them next door and share them with the neighbors,” I reasoned.  Only, you see where this is going, we didn’t do that either.

Christmas Day 2017 - too busy to be bothered by Fruit Fancies...

So, before you know it, it was the last day of January and the Fruit Fancies were still unopened.  But after we ate dinner while watching “Amazing Race” (go team Brainiacs!) , David ripped into these special treat, and, well, they ended up being not so special after all…   Oh, and before you say, “Susan, of course they tasted like %&*#, they were a HOLIDAY ITEM and you let them sit until almost February!  They were too old!” – N-O.  They didn’t expire until 11/18. 

OK, here is what we thought of them:

David:  “Well, these are different.  They are like Fig Newtons that have even less moisture in them, and perhaps a little extra fiber.  They are dry.  The mouth feel is not a joy ride for me.  These things suck the moisture right out of your mouth!  I give them a 1.  The reason I am not giving them a 0 is that they do not taste bad, they just do not taste good.  The box is alright, but it is a little skinny to use for anything else.  I have to respect the dovetail jointing.”

David didn't fancy these, did fancy them at all.  

Susan:  I am just gonna say it – I was duped by the wooden, dovetailed box.  They punked me!  I think the term for this type of duped is “The Hickory Farm Effect”.  You know how Hickory Farms always had (is it has – does PF still exist in the MALL SETTING where they had special displays of meat and cheese for the holidays?) really attractive PACKAGING?  Like, “Put it in a basket, then the dyed orange cheese with pimentos and nuts will sell!!”.  Yeah – Trader Joe’s Hickory Farmed me with this one! 

The treats looked very pretty in the packaging.  Each one was topped with a whole nut on top – some with almonds and some with walnuts.  The things that “encrusted” each piece – sesame seeds or coconut – looked lovingly applied.  Each piece looked like a fancy, Mediterranean delight.  To my EYES, they looked like they would taste a bit exotic, sweet, a bit juicy, perhaps fig-like, and yummy.

But EYES are not what actually TASTE things… 

These are a product from Turkey.  But they are not “from Turkey” in a sexy, romantic, exotic kind of way.  They are not good.  I ate 2 – one of each variety.  I thought David ate ONE, but later learned he could only stomach ¼ of 1 and threw out the rest (that man never throws out a sweet!!). 

The NUT on top of each piece was nice, but there was only one nut per piece.  I guess a person could just pop the nut off the top of each one and eat only that, but it would be easier and cheaper just to head over to the TJ’s nut aisle and get yourself a whole bag of nuts.  I will give this product a 1.5 (the majority of the score is for the cool box and the nuts on top).

Sorry Trader Joe's, we don't really want these anymore....

Let this be a lesson to me (and to you): not ALL Trader Joe’s holiday products are lovely.  Even the pretty ones are sometimes duds.  Luckily, Trader Joe’s happily accepts any returns, so we took this back.  Our cashier saw the return and said, “Oh yeah, I didn’t like those things either…” 😊 . 

You can’t get this product at Trader Joe’s right now since it was seasonal, but if it does come back next year, I suggest you pass.  Grab some of the other delightful items, and leave them for some other sucker to get Hickory Farmed.

Price:  $5.99 

Rating:  1.25

Day 331 - Cherry Cider

16 years ago today David and I took the plunge.  We had been together for what felt like an eternity already, and the whole wedding part was more party and formality than anything else, but this Thanksgiving season I am sure thankful to have him in my life.  Here is the picture from our surprise wedding invitations - "Susan and David are finally taking the plunge".  Fun times!

Snapped the shot on the first attempt - thank goodness!!  Taking the plunge was never so fun.

But enough anniversary celebrating, you are here for a REVIEW.  Here goes!

I bought this Cherry Cider in an attempt at fairness.  I felt bad that I was so heavily favoring the Honey Crisp Apple Cider (a-maaaa-zing!  reviewed here).  I thought I should spread the juice love out a bit, so in a moment of weakness I forego the Honey Crisp for this Cherry Cider.

 

Found on the juice shelves (not refrigerated)

Big mistake.

It tastes like COUGH SYRUP.  In fact, it SMELLS like cough syrup.  So I get the cough syrup scent before I even get a dribble of this juice in my mouth.  I.  hate.  Cough.  Syrup.  I would rather cough than drink cough syrup.  (Unless I have one of those horrible coughs where you have hacked soooo much that every muscle in your back hurts…  If I have THAT kind of cough, I will consider taking a tiny spoonful of cough syrup…)  So imagine, me, a woman who hates even a spoonful of cough syrup, being confronted by a juice glass full.  Ewwww.

I feel I should point out – I like CHERRY STUFF.  So don’t think that I am dismissing this cider simply because it is the same FLAVOR of many cough syrups.  No, cherry itself is tasty.  But this not only tastes of CHERRY, it tastes of CHERRY COUGH SYRUP.  It doesn’t have the consistency of cough syrup, thankfully.  But it has the scent and taste of it.  L 

David’s opinion:  "I don’t like it.  It is too sweet.  It tastes very cherry-ish, and maybe that is the way a cherry cider ought to taste.  But to me it is like drinking the juice at the bottom of a can of cherry pie filler.  I give it a 1.5."

 A sleepy David being forced to drink some cherry cider for a taste test.  Poor guy.

The only reason I am now drinking this juice is to try and get the bit 2 quart container out of our fridge.  I even tried heating it up one afternoon because I was jonesin’ so much for my hot Honey Crisp Apple Cider.  I thought surely it would be better warm.  Nope.  It was HOT cough syrup in a pretty mug.  Yuck. 

The color is also a little off-putting.  It is not red, but it is not pink.  There is a hint of brown to it, making me suspect prune juice.  If I wanted brown juice, I would buy prune juice.  If I want cherry, make it red please (this is probably years of drinking juice tainted with food coloring talking…).  For complete and accurate reporting I just checked the label – no prune juice here, folks. 

Save your money - invest in another juice instead.

The label says it is “cherry flavored juice blend from concentrates with other natural ingredients.  100% juice, no artificial flavors or preservatives”.  There you go – it is healthy, but not tasty. 

I have since gotten more of my favorite cider.  I couldn’t wait to finish the cherry crap to open the honey crisp bottle, so I now have TWO open large bottles of cider in the refrigerator.  Sigh.  Maybe I will pour this cherry stuff down the drain.  I don’t feel like I can return it after having already forced myself to drink half the bottle.

Oh well, you win some, you lose some.  For us, this one is a lose.  I give it a 2.

Price – $3.99

Rating – 1.75 (average of 2 raters)

Day 194 - Salt Water Taffy

I thought I could review this product.  I wanted to buy it.  I find salt water taffy BEAUTIFUL.  The colors, the swirls.  The IDEA of salt water taffy is very appealing to me – it means SUMMER, vacation, seaside, fun, sweetness…  Then I tasted one, and I remembered the REALITY of salt water taffy – uber sweet yucky tasting sticky FLUFF.  I do not feel qualified to review this product with my obvious bias, so am turning this review over to my partner David:

David with the Salt Water Taffy before we checked out.  He was happy to get it.

"Tasty taffy.  The package is just the right size.  There are a number of different fruit flavors, but let’s face it, salt water taffy always tastes like salt water taffy, whatever the fruit flavor.

These are very good.  The only strike I have against them is the packaging.  In this, they are no different than salt water taffies:  each taffy is rolled in a small piece of waxed paper, twisted at the ends.  The problem with this system is that at room temperature the taffy STICKS to the waxed paper.  And just out of the fridge, the taffy is so hard that the paper tears or little bits of brittle taffy flick off as you are unrolling the paper and go everywhere.   My solution is to put them in the fridge and then take them out for five minutes before unwrapping the ones you want to eat.  Why they can’t find a system to solidify the taffy before wrapping it is beyond me. 

Hmmm, this sign says Saltwater but the package says Salt Water...  I can't remember which store we got these at.

But the taffy itself – delightful." 

(Note – Susan here – David mentions fruit flavors.  The package says there are cherry, strawberry, banana, red licorice (which technically is not a FRUIT flavor, David), sour apple, and watermelon.  I tasted a pretty one that was dark red with a white swirl and I THINK it was red licorice but I would not bet you $10 on that.  I had a pretty photo of it but sadly that Sim Card thing-a-ma-bob is not working and I cannot upload it.  Sorry.)  Holy smokes – I just read the back and it says a serving size is SEVEN PIECES!!  That overindulgence may be the reason David wants to give these a high mark.)

Price – $1.99

Rating – 4.25 (from David, NOT from me)

Day 168 - Dark Chocolate Covered Cherries

I do not like chocolate covered cherries.  I hate the goo that is inside of them.  They always taste FAKE to me, and the goo/gish is not something I am interested in.  David, however, likes them, and we found this package of them in a special CHERRY BLOSSOM display at the U St (Washington DC) Trader Joe’s during cherry blossom season, so we HAD to buy them.  J

Isn't this a PRETTY display??  See the cherry blossom branches?  Great job U St TJ's

I wasn’t going to eat them.  I figured it was unfair for a chocolate covered cherry hater to review them, so I would just ask David to be my guest reviewer for this one.  Then I caved and tried one.  And you know?  THEY ARE GOOD!

They are more about the dark chocolate than they are the cherry.  And the CHERRY in question is a REAL cherry, none of that candied, fake red, gushy crap.  In fact, the label says this product contains no artificial colors or flavors and has no preservatives. How many chocolate covered “cherries” can you say THAT about??

And PERFECT art work on the signage, too

The dark chocolate is definitely what you taste most with these treats, but the dried cherry center is a nice compliment.  They are quite “rich” so are not a snack you would sit down and eat the whole container of (which is a good thing, right?). 

Thanks, Trader Joe’s, for helping me stop being scared of chocolate covered cherries! 

Price – $4.99

Rating - 4

Day 92 - Tart Cherry 100% Juice Blend

This juice wasn’t as TART as it was THICK.  Maybe it should be called “Thick Cherry 100% Juice Blend”.  I mean, it was TART, but not toooo tart.  And really not too thick, either.  It was quite good.  It is not the kind of juice you want to grab when you are super thirsty, because it is more like a little MEAL than it is a thirst quencher.  But it feels quite HEALTHY to drink.  J

Tart Cherry Juice Blend - on the left of the photo.  I will try the other juices before the year is out! 

We picked this up on our recent visit to the first ever New York City Trader Joe’s!  We chose it because we had never seen it at “our” Trader Joe’s in Northern Virginia and so thought it was special.  However, I went to our local Trader Joe’s tonight and oops, they DO have it, we just had never noticed it!

Anyway, it is a healthy juice – I would put it in the Pom category if you know what Pom is.  The label says it is “tart cherry juice from concentrate with notes of plum, pear and apple juices and white grape juice from concentrate”.  It definitely tastes mostly like cherries.

It says it is 2 servings and I think that is about right.  One thing that might seem like a small point but to me it was good – it has a tight screw on cap.  Some juices have flimsy pop or snap on lids, and those are not good if you want to throw it in your bag after you have started drinking it.  With this tight cap, we felt confident bringing it with us after we had opened and re-closed it.

See??  You can open and reseal it - drink it in the NYC Subway Station!  

 If you like cherry juice and you want a healthy snack/drink, try it out.

Price - $2.99

Rating – 3.75

Day 26 - Ocarossa Wine

This is a NICE red wine at a very, very cheap price.  That’s the thing about Trader Joe’s wines – so many of them are dirt cheap, you can afford to experiment and try something new! 

Ocarossa - a delicious wine at only $5.99!

This is an Italian red wine – nice and bold.  It has a cherry taste but not too fruity.  We served it with a beef stroganoff served over pasta and it was the perfect complement to the meal.

This wine pairs well with dinner

Interesting fact – each Trader Joe’s has an in-house artist that makes all of their own signage.  I think that is an awesome idea!  It means nothing feels too “corporate” or cookie cutter – each store you go into has its own feel.  This is evidenced by these two price signs for Ocarossa Wine – one was taken at “our” Trader Joe’s in Falls Church, VA and the other was taken at a Trader Joe’s in Raleigh, NC on a recent road trip.  Which do you prefer??  

Sign from Virginia Trader Joe's

Sign from North Carolina Trader Joe's

Price - $5.99 (so reasonable!)

Rating – 4.25 stars