Pumpkin Spice Biocellulose Face Masks

I am feeling down this weekend – my heart hurts and my eyes are tired from crying because we got bad news in our family this week. 

I’ve decided to take a break from crying to think about something FUNNY – Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Biocellulose Facial Masks.  Let me say that again for you, PUMPKIN SPICE FACE MASKS.

If you shop at Trader Joe’s, you know this is the time of year when the shelves there are flooded with pumpkin crap.  There is pumpkin ravioli.  Pumpkin ice cream.  Pumpkin coffee.  Pumpkin everything.  But pumpkin FACE MASKS???  Now that is just a/ step too far, my friends.  Trader Joe’s, you have officially jumped the shark.

So, of course, I bought them!  I picked up 2, thinking I would force my sisters into being guinea pigs and trying them.  Only one of my sisters was too smart to spend the night on the night I was busting them out, which was BAD NEWS for my nephew, cuz he had to fill her spot!  Lucky for me, Trevor is a really good sport.

Trev has a full beard, and I wasn’t sure how well the mask would work on the facial hair, so for HIM I turned it upside down and put the MOUTH hole up on his bald head, then covered his face down to his beard with the mask.

The brave product testers

As the pretend esthetician for the event – my take on these masks was “Ewwww”.  First off, they are STINKY.  Secondly, they are SLIMY.  And thirdly, you have to peel not 1 but 2 pieces of goo off the sides to get to the actual product.  They are messy to put on.  After touching them a lot they made my fingers STINK.  They smelled like a gross over-powering autumn candle that would be an ugly brown color. 

Even before OPENING these they sounded smelly...

Now let’s hear what the product testers had to say!  First up was my nephew Trevor:  “I do not usually use facial products.  I wash my face every day but never put lotion on it.  To be blunt, I didn’t really enjoy the experience of this mask…  When it got put on it smelled like a mix of Bath and Body Works and fake vomit.  And a little bit of spicy pumpkin.”  After I took his mask off and rubbed in any remaining goo (there was not much, most of it seemed to soak in) I asked Trev how it felt.  “It feels fine I guess.  I mean, I don’t have anything to compare it to.  I have never used these products before.  I probably will not be using this again in the future.  I don’t especially like this.  I don’t like the feeling of my face being greasy.  If I am going to use a facial product I would rather it be CLEANSING.  I would not buy this product.  I hate to give it an awful score because maybe it is good at what it is intended to DO, but I am not the target audience.  To be generous, I will give it a .75.”

Tester #1 - not a fan

Soooo, Trevor was not a fan.  Maybe my sister, who actually LIKES beauty products, will like it!!  I didn’t tell her the scent before I put it on.  Let’s see what she thought.

Sherry: “I use face products, but I only use face masks when my sisters are all together.  I did not like the SMELL of this face mask at all.  I thought it smelled like a funeral home.  Like, the overpowering smell of flowers or something trying to disguise a smell.   Once you told me it was Pumpkin Spice scented I could tell – I mean – it was spicy.  But it doesn’t at all smell like pumpkin, just spice.  It smells like a spice cake or something.  I didn’t like the smell of it at all.  And I didn’t like the feel of it on.  And I didn’t like the feel when it got taken off.  I have had other face masks before and this wasn’t that different, but it made me feel SLIMY.  I want to go wash my face and I am afraid I will have zits tomorrow.  I wouldn’t buy it again, unless I was buying it for someone’s Christmas stocking…  (Note:  our family makes funny gag stockings, and now I fear I know what might be in mine…)  I am not a huge fan of masks.  People who buy it are probably people who like pumpkin spice and face masks.  I don’t like this.  I will give this a 2.”

Tester #2, also not going to stock up on this product

There you have it folks.  I as the applier and both testers thought this one was a big F-A-I-L.  If you like pumpkin and you like spice, there are pleeeenty of other things to spend your money on at Trader Joe’s this fall.  Leave this one on the shelf!

Price:  $2.99 (so not worth it)

Score:  1.5

But don't buy it

Here's what to look for

Creamy Pink Primavera Pasta Sauce

In 2015, I had this crazy idea to write a review of one Trader Joe’s product every.  Single.  Day.  Like, EVERY DAY.  and I did it!  I went to Trader Joe’s stores all across the country and I tried 365 products (actually, more than that, but that is the number I REVIEWED that first year).  It was super fun and I loved doing it.

But it was also really time consuming.  And more than that, it was LIFE CONSUMING.  So much of my focus and energy was put into that project that I didn’t have a lot of “fuel” left for other creative outlets.

And then life happened.  I started a NEW (time consuming) project about Kindness (https://kindnessactivist.blogspot.com/ ).  I travelled.  I enjoyed myself.

And then, as sometimes happens, life got messy.  My sweetheart broke his collarbone.  My sister got diagnosed with brain cancer (glioblastoma (GBM) ),  And in the midst of her treatment, our dad suddenly had a heart attack, and after surgery, surprised everyone by dying in the hospital.

So yeah, life has sort of sucked the last 13 months.

But that doesn’t mean I stopped shopping at Trader Joe’s.  It just means I stopped being anal about reviewing my purchases. 

But now I think it is TIME to review something new!!!  It’s fall, which means the shelves are filling up with new seasonal products.  My Trader Joe’s review blog (insert link) has almost 800,000 views (isn’t that wild??), and it is time to refresh it a bit!  So here we go – let’s talk about this new (to us) product that we had for dinner:  Creamy Pink Primavera Pasta Sauce.

David was skeptical from the get-go

First off, I bought it because it is PRETTY.  That is the same philosophy I apply to wine shopping when I don’t have a specific bottle in mind:  which one has a beautiful or funny label?  Buy that one!  So, I picked this sauce because of its’ very pretty dark pink color.

PRETTY!

There is not a lot of PINK food in the world.  Think about it – cotton candy…  Gum balls… 

So yeah, I thought the world needed more PINK FOOD.  My partner David wasn’t so sure from the get-go.  But I figured he could be easily convinced if it was as tasty as I hoped it would be!!

It wasn’t. 

He was right.

This stuff is yucky!!  The label says this sauce has tomato, beet, cauliflower, chickpea, and a touch of citrus.  We served it over TJ’s linguine with a side of TJ’s baby bok choy. 

Starting to look a bit like blood on pasta...

Here is what we thought of it:

David:  I think it is a stretch…  I don’t think…  It doesn’t taste BAD…  But, I mean, for me it’s not a PASTA SAUCE…  I mean, it’s a little citrus-y, which is interesting.  But the rest of it is kinda a hell of a lot of BEET.  So…  Good luck to ya! 

I give it a 2.

Susan:  Pretty – yes.  Tasty – no.  I agree with David.  I don’t know – but the LINGUINE itself tastes better than the sauce that is on it.  It is very BEETY, and I love beets.  I like to eat TJ’s baby beets from the produce section.  I put them on my salads and they are delicious. 

But for some reason, in this format, the beets didn’t work.  Maybe this sauce should be served cold (which David suggested and I poo pooed)?   The sauce eerily has a look of BLOOD on the pasta, which is obviously a bit off putting (but might work well for a Halloween dinner).  In the JAR the color was great, but on the pasta it is not as pretty. 

It doesn't look as PINK here as it does in real life

Maybe shredded cheese on top would help.  I LOVE most of the ingredients in it:  tomatoes, beets, chickpeas.  And I LIKE the other ingredient: cauliflower.  But when they put these things together as a pasta sauce it was a fail.  In fact, it was so much a fail that for the first time in history (that I can remember) David literally RINSED HIS PASTA OFF and tried to “clean it”, then added pesto to cover the yucky remaining Creamy Pink Primavera Sauce.

I will give this a 2.25.

Don't waste your $3.69.  But, as always, if you TRY it and DON'T LIKE IT, don't be afraid to take it back! 
Trader Joe's is awesome about returns!

I assume this is a fall seasonal item.  David (a bit sarcastically but with a bit of sincerity)  says, “Why must we suffer at Trader Joe’s every fall?  Damn "autumn this" and "pumpkin that"…” 

Price:  $3.69

Rating: 2 (I lowered my score to match David’s for the final rating, because let’s face it, he RINSED THE PRODUCT OFF his dinner it was so bad.)

In loving memory of my dad John, who thought many of the things I do with my life are nutty, but was behind me all the way.  He showed me how to enjoy life and I miss him every day.  Love you, Dad.

Honey Crisp Apple Cider is BACK!

Everyone who is a regular at Trader Joe's has their "go to" items, their favorites.  We mourn them if TJ's discontinues them.  But if they are seasonal, we DELIGHT when their season rolls around and they magically appear on the shelves again...

May I have a drum roll please....

Party in the juice aisle - Honey Crisp Apple Cider is BACK!

HONEY CRISP APPLE CIDER IS BACK AT TRADER JOE'S!!

If you haven't had the pleasure of drinking this cider, boy are you in for a treat :) .  It.  Is.  Delicious!  I have to warn you though - last year I developed a bit of an "addiction" to it...  Every afternoon last winter for about 90 days I would get incredibly sleepy around 3:00 pm.  It was like clockwork!  The clock struck 3:00, my yawning started.  But the yawning was accompanied by a CRAVING...  I neeeeeeeeed a mug of hot Trader Joe's Honey Crisp Apple Cider!  Lucky for me, that is an easy, healthy, cheap, and legal craving to satisfy!  So for about a month and a half there, I drank a mug of this warmed up every afternoon!

And, truth be told, I sort of drank too much of it.  "OD-ed" on it, if you will.  I had stocked up on a few bottles, but left them untouched until this fall rolled around.  I have since busted them open and resumed my adoration of this cider.  And you should, too!!!

Who has 2 thumbs and think this price point is perfect for a cider this good?  THIS GIRL!!

If you have tried the other TJ's ciders and think those are good - well I hate to say you are wrong, because we all have our own preferences.  But...  TRY THIS ONE, TOO!

And if you like it (and you will) make sure to squirrel away a few bottle down in your wine cellar (ok, seriously, is anyone who shops at TJ's rich enough to have a WINE CELLAR?  Perhaps I guess.  I squirrel away my collection WITH the wine in the basement, which just so happens to be stored in a rack on top of a shrunk (which is like an extra pantry closet). 

THIS IS THE ONE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR!

Wherever you have room to store it, all I am saying is, get a few bottles!  Because it is seasonal, and like most good things, seasons will change and this will disappear until next year. 

Price:  the same as it has been since I first wrote about it 2 years ago, $2.99 and not a penny higher
Rating: still an amazing 5 stars

Fall Zucchette Pasta

Sometimes Trader Joe’s comes out with products that are PRETTY.  But pretty doesn’t always equate to YUMMY.  Well, this Autumnal Butternut Squash Pasta was pretty in the bag, so I decided to cook some up and see if it was also delicious.  

Here's the bag 

Here is what we thought:

David: “It’s not bad.  It has an interesting, playful shape.  The taste is pretty good.  There is a lot of pasta in each pasta “nodule”, so it could do with a lot of sauce on it.  Yeah.  Ummm.  It’s, ummm…  It won’t hurt you to mix up your pasta routine and give this one a shot.  I give it a 3.75”

Looks like David liked it better on the PLATE than he did in the BAG.  

Susan:  Confession time; to me, really, all shapes of pasta normally taste the same.  I mean, a shape is a shape, but pasta is pasta.  I guess it is the same concept as TACO BELL – everything on their menu is made out of the same ingredients and it all tastes that same, it is just in different SHAPES.  The Taco Bell prices vary a bit per item, but basically, all of their crap is the same, right?  That’s how I feel about pasta shapes. 

Anyway, this Trader Joe’s Autumnal Butternut Squash Pasta has an adorable little shape.  I personally think it looks more like PUMPKINs than squash.  If you have ever shopped at Marshall’s or TJ Maxx, this pasta looks like something they would have in their food sections.  And to be honest, their food sections always make me hesitant…  I check expiration dates there, because I get the feeling like their gourmet food items have been sitting on another store’s shelves and didn’t get sold, so they got shipped to Marshalls/TJ Maxx.  That is what this pasta LOOKS like – the gourmet section at Marshalls/TJ Maxx. 

As for TASTE – this pasta has a nice taste.  And it does not taste ultra SQUASH-Y, either, which is good.   

It has an interesting TEXTURE.  It has a good “bite” to it.  I think this is the largest size pasta I have ever had, except for rigatoni maybe.  We had to cook it longer than the package said because when the timer went off it was SUPER underdone.   While I was in line at Trader Joe’s one evening I had a conversation with a woman and noticed she was picking this pasta up.  She hadn’t had it before either and she guessed it was one you needed to be careful not to overcook.  Turns out you need to be careful of the opposite problem J .  One note:  draining this pasta is bizarre because each little butternut shape is essentially a tiny pumpkin shaped “bucket” holding water. 

Some of the lil pumpkins got a bit busted the first time we cooked this.
Sorry, not as pretty on the plate as the second time.

I was a tad concerned about sauce and worried which one to pair dish this with.  We ended up serving it with Trader Joe’s Creamy Tomato Basil Pasta Sauce and that was a good compliment.  I also served it with baby portabella mushrooms cooked in pumpkin seed oil, with a side of fresh broccoli and a lovely beet/blue cheese salad.  

After our experience with TJ’s Black Bean Rotini (which got a horrible review here:  Black Bean Rotini Review ), I was a little nervous to get back on the horse and try another bizarre pasta.  I worried this one might taste freaky, but it doesn’t. 

Overall, this is a cute pasta and is good to have once or twice during the crisp Autumn season.  It looks and tastes very fall-like. 

I give this product a rating of 4. 

Price:  $1.99 (cheap for a fancy shape pasta)

Rating:  4  

Day 293 - Mini Pumpkins, Gourds, and Mary Day

October 20^th is a holiday on my calendar.  It is a day known as MARY DAY.  Mary was my mom, and October 20^th is the anniversary of her death.  2015 marks 13 years since she died.  Every year I spend Mary Day celebrating her life – remembering her – by doing things she loved to do.  Mostly I SHOP.  I head out to the big local mall (the one that I usually go to once a year on, you guessed it, Mary Day…).  I shop All.  Day.  Long. 

My mom holding me - 1966

I try to buy a complete outfit – socks, pants, shirt, sweater, shoes...  A complete outfit just like she used to get me.  Other Mary Day activities could include getting a massage, playing a slot machine, getting your nails done, playing racquetball, drinking wine, for sure wearing lipstick, perhaps making a dessert and give it to someone else, vacuuming the house, going water skiing, sending people greeting cards – the point is, I spend the day doing things SHE would have done.  It gives me a day to remember, to grieve, to think of her, and to celebrate.

My mom and dad.  He is probably doing his famous move where he raises his hand and shouts "Tradition!" from
"Fiddler on the Roof", and she is cracking up because for some reason that move always makes us laugh

I never work on Mary Day.  It feels sacrilegious to work on this holiday.  And I typically spend the day alone.  I talk to strangers all day as I go about my celebrating and I always blurt out hugely inappropriate things that make them feel very awkward…  Nary a Mary Day goes by that some make-up counter lady doesn’t hear my blurted, “Hi.  I need a new lipstick.  My mom is dead, and this is the day I celebrate her.  She liked lipstick.  Can you help me find one??”.  Those are the things that fly out of my unattended mouth on Mary Day and unsuspecting sales clerks really have not been training to handle them. 

Trip to Las Vegas after she was sick.  I had shaved all my hair off (as had David and my sister Sherry)
to "go bald with her", only WE looked bald and SHE looked good with a wig.  :)  She was lucky at slot machines.

I think a ton about Mary Day for the entire month leading up to it.  What should I do this year?  Where should I go?  I think maybe my mind thinks about the specific DAY, October 20^th, for the preceding month so that it doesn’t have to think back to the month leading up to her death, when my family and I took care of her in her last days.  Those times are too hard to remember and not the images of her I want to have in my head. 

I am much more deliberate on Mary Day.  I feel like I can sense everything – my steps, my breathing, my tears.  And the weeks leading up to Mary Day every year I notice my actions becoming more and more deliberate.  This is the only year I have had this blog review project, and I have been wondering (worrying really) what to review on Mary Day.  But last night I decided:  MINI PUMPKINS (and gourds).

I like these two photos side by side - they are both old, but it shows
how much I look like her, don't you think?

Old headshot - I look like Mom :)

My mom never set foot in a Trader Joe’s.  She lived in Omaha, Nebraska (where I grew up) and died before TJ’s came to that area.  So it’s not like there is a specific product at TJ’s that I look at and think, “That’s my mom!”.  But she was really good at decorating for holidays and always made sure I had a great Halloween costume, so when I saw the pumpkins I smiled and realized they were the right fit for Mary Day.

Here we go:  Trader Joe’s mini pumpkins (all varieties) and gourds. 

GET THEM. 

Teeny tiny adorable pumpkins

They are adorable.  Trader Joe’s displays them soooo well.  At our local TJ’s they were outside displayed spilling out of wooden tubs in the crisp autumn air.  They are lovely!  They sell a ton of them so there is a fast “turn over” and you never see old junky mushy ones.

So prettttty

Look how tiny!

You can find any style of pumpkin you like – white ones, orange ones, striped ones, big ones, teeny tiny ones…  You can get your fill of PUMPKINS this time of year at Trader Joe’s!  There are all sorts of gourds, too!  Ugly warty ones, nice smooth ones, different colors… 

And they are PRICED RIGHT.  TJ’s isn’t going to rip you off just because you want some gourds on your dining room table!  Why, check out the price difference on mini pumpkins when I compared Trader Joe’s prices to those at Safeway right across the street!!

                                                                      Regular ones only .69

Fancy ones - .99 at TJ's

Gourds also cheap!

Safeway rip-off - $1.50!

Look a gourd!

Gourds look like AUTUMN

Look, in my humble opinion Trader Joe’s goes way too coo-coo over pumpkin spiced this and pumpkin flavored that every autumn.  But PUMPKINS, actual real live cutie patootie tiny pumpkins, now THOSE are worth your investment.

So go get a tiny pumpkin or two.  They will make you smile.

But more importantly, hug your mom if she is still around.  And if she lives far away, CALL HER.  And send her a greeting card!  A real, honest-to-goodness-have-to-use-a-postage-stamp greeting card.  Tell her you love her.  Trust me on this one. 

Cuz she isn’t going to around forever.  So make sure you enjoy her while she is here.

Oh, and Happy Mary Day.

Price - .69 to .99 (for mini pumpkins and gourds, larger pumpkins also cheap)

Rating – 5 (that’s a “5” for the mini pumpkins and gourds, and a 5 for having a day set aside to remember my mom)