Updated Review: Authentic Greek Feta in Brine

Well folks, it doesn't happen often, but it is happening today.

A Trader Joe's product is getting a BUMP UP in the number of stars it got on my original review!

And not only is it getting a BUMP UP in stars, it is going from 4.75 stars to the elusive 5 STAR REVIEW!!!!  Can I get a round of applause for Trader Joe's Authentic Greek Feta in Brine please??

So excited about this feta that we are JUMPING!   (OK, that was really us jumping in front of the
Supreme Court because a decision came down that we were psyched about, but still, the jump fits...)

Here's the scoop:  We.  Love.  Feta.  As cheeses go, feta is super high up on our list.  And this Greek Feta in Brine from Trader Joe's is, as Oprah might say in her sing-songy voice, Ahh-Maahhhzzz-Zing!  The only thing that kept it from getting a 5 star review the first time 'round was the crappy packaging it was in.  Original Authentic Greek Feta in Brine review here

Our household is not divided by gender.  We are a home of 2, David and I, and we don't divide roles up by "male" and "female".  We both cook.  We both grocery shop.  We both clean...  Wait, who am I kidding, neither of us cleans...

But OPENING THE FETA, sigh, opening the feta has been a "male task" at our house since we got addicted to this TJ's feta in brine.  I could not open that dumb container for the life of me!!  It had a little plastic bit you had to bust off, I could do that.  But then the rest of the opening was IMPOSSIBLE for me.  At first I thought it was just because I had long fingernails (so sue me, I didn't want to bust a nail).  But I have also tried opening the containers when I had very short nails, and that was a fail, too. So each and every time I wanted to eat feta (which, let's face it, was often), I had to call David into the kitchen to open the dumb package.  Laaaame!!!

But Trader Joe's must have heard my frustration (ok, they likely did not read it here, but maybe they sensed it magically, or maybe I was not the only one to hate the packaging).  THEY CHANGED THE PACKAGE!

The new one is oh so nice!!!  I just opened it and made a big ol' salad, and David is not even home!  :)  I feel so liberated now that my feta consumption no longer replies on his muscles. 

Thanks Trader Joe's.  This new packaging is awesome.  I feel independent again!  Who knows, when David comes home and I show him my new discovery, he may feel a twinge of sadness that I no longer "need him" for the feta...  Not to worry - I can find another chore to give him (shhhh)! 

Price:  still $6.49 I believe
Rating: 5 STARS!

Incanto Chardonnay Pinot Grigio

First, let me lay this on the line:  I have coveted this big ass blue bottle of wine every year when Trader Joe’s brings it out around the holiday time.  TJ’s always have special, super huge wine bottles, and they are sooooo appealing to my eyes!  Seriously, every year I want to buy them.  David and I normally grocery shop together, and I know that he, being the more realistic (and once in a while the more responsible) of the two of us must think these big ol’ wine bottles are ridiculous.  And, in my heart, I have always known he was right.  So, year after year I have held back and not snuck one of these big wines into our cart.

But this year – oh, this year I WENT FOR IT!  I got brave enough to snag one of these bottles on a night I was shopping without David actually 😊 .  But look at it – it is gorgeous!  The shape of the bottle.  The size.  But mostly, the color! I mean, how bad would this Italian blend have to taste to undo all of those positives???

Here is David before the bottle was opened.  See - it is LARGE!

So, this holiday season, I got one and we hauled it down to Florida with us.  I thought we might drink it if we had friends over, but (as almost always happens in our lives), we were hermits and didn’t have a dinner party.  We were invited to a friend’s house for New Year’s Day dinner, and I guess it would have been nice to bring this bottle, but it just felt a little strange.  There were going to be 5 people at the meal, and in we would walk with a huge ass bottle of wine?  What if we were the only wine drinkers?

Close up of the label

Now January is ticking by and we still hadn’t opened this bottle...  One night our friend Sarah said she was going to stop by (and I know she likes wine).   Voila – there’s my chance!  I had David open the bottle and the 3 of us did a taste test.  Here is what we thought:

Well isn't this elegant??  Bottle is too big for the fridge

Susan:  Before I can discuss the taste of the wine, I must talk through the logistics of it.  This.  Wine bottle.  Is.  Ridonkulous!!  It is white wine and we wanted it chilled, but the big bottle most certainly could not stand up in our refrigerator.  It ended up lying on its side and taking up a big chunk of the fridge (though to be honest, for a day or so it served as a “shelf” as David rested his used paint brush (wrapped in Saranwrap) on top of the horizontal bottle…).  OK, now on to the taste:  The taste is sort of water-y to me – there is not much taste.  Because of that I wound up drinking it pretty fast.  So, if your goal is to down wine quickly (and therefore feel a bit tipsy quickly…), this might be a good pick.  Artistically it is beautiful.  Logistically it is stupid.  And to be honest, the actual wine seemed sort of incidental!  I will give the taste of this wine 3.75.  If I gave a score for the look of the bottle it would be a 5, but if I gave a score for the usability of the bottle (squishing it in your fridge) it would be a 2.  So, I will average those scores together and give the overall product a score of 3.5.

David gives Incanto a try

David: “I think this is good, it is nice and cold which is good for this wine.  It has a little bit of a fruity taste.  It has a hint of a chardonnay kind of oakiness – I don’t like chardonnay but this was not too much, so I thought it balanced it out kind of nice.  This is not a wine I would seek out, but I am delighted to drink it.  I guess I will give it a 4.  (David added that he should have docked his score because of the unwieldy size of the bottle.)”

Sarah refilling her glass
 (by the way, this bottle is hard to pour, too!  It comes out super fast.)

Sarah: “I did not like this wine at the first sip, because it tasted like chardonnay and I do not normally like chardonnay.  But I kept drinking, and (like most wines) then I enjoyed it more.   It ended up being more fruity than dry, which I liked.  This is a super easy wine to drink.  I will give it a solid 4.5.”

Overall, I suggest only buying this big bottle of wine if you have plans to drink it all in one sitting.  That way you can chill it, uncork it, and drink it all without having to worry about re-corking it to lay sideways in your fridge.

Price:  $12.99 (cheap when you consider it is the equivalent of 2 bottles of wine)

Rating (average of 3 raters):  4

Lay's "Do Us A Flavor" Potato Chip Finalists 2017

OK, this is unusual…  This is a blog to review TRADER JOE’S PRODUCTS, and here I am about to review a special selection of Lay's Potato Chips (not sold at TJ’s).  But it is a very unique circumstance, this is the one and only time I am going to stray in the blog mission, and I am feeling the need to do it, so please, humor me, ok?

Our next-door neighbors in Florida are James and Carol.  I say “James and Carol” as a unit, a grouping.  We never refer to them as “James” and “Carol”.  It is really JAMES-AND- CAROL, a one-word unit.  But now Carol is very sick.  It is inevitable that it will soon be James (sans Carol), and that is a sad reality for all of us. 

Carol, one of the sweetest neighbors you ever could meet

James-and-Carol are about as different from my partner David and I as you can imagine.  They are true Southerners – from the accents to the attitudes.  It is fun to hang out with them and chat.  They look at things from a whole different perspective than we do, and they think David and I are a bit crazy with our gallivanting around the world (ok, more than a bit crazy…).  In fact, just yesterday when I was visiting and a hospice nurse remarked to James that there was a “crazy neighbor” she had seen on our street, Carol (in her morphine induced state) smiled and quietly said, “Susan and David!” – calling us the crazy neighbors!  When we were in Florida late summer of 2017 the doctors had announced Carol’s cancer had spread.  It was getting bad, and honestly, no one knew if she would still be around when we came back to the Sunshine State in the winter. 

So, before we left town, I thought of what I thought was a fun project we could all do together:  they would help me review potato chips for my blog!  I had seen Lay's Special Flavors Potato Chips advertised and had never heard of the concept before.  Apparently Lay's has a contest (called “Do Us A Flavor” – a catchy title that sounds like something Trader Joe’s would come up with, no??) to see who can come up with the best NEW flavor, and the winner gets $1,000,000 and their chip flavor is made and sold!!  People who taste the chips go online and VOTE for which new chip flavor they like best.  I ran around to a couple of different stores to collect bags of the 2017 finalist flavors:

Crispy Taco

Wavy Fried Green Tomato

Kettle Cooked Everything Bagel (with Cream Cheese)

And then, one night shortly before we left to drive back up to DC, I busted out the chips!  I figured, hey, one of the flavors is Fried Green Tomato, they are bound to like that one!  And it was a game we didn’t have to leave the comfort of their home for, so it seemed perfect.

Everyone was all smiles before the bags were opened...

Perfect, that is, until we actually tasted the chips……

James-and-Carol (who will have to be separated and referred to individually for the rest of this article, since they reviewed the food individually) did NOT like these chips!  Their comments cracked me up – I was rolling on the floor laughing as they ate them.  The whole idea of reviewing food seemed ridiculous to them, too.  But hey, it was crazy neighbor Susan’s game, so they went along with it.

Meet the reviewers:

James – age 77, from Kentucky

Carol – age 67 – also from Kentucky

David – our normal TJ’s reviewer, from a suburb of Washington DC

And me – originally from Nebraska, but a tried and true East Coast girl since 2000

We rated these chips like David and I normally rate Trader Joe’s products – on a scale of 0 – 5, with 5 being the highest). 

First. we tried the CRISPY TACO chips.  Here is what the reviewers thought:

James:  “Well, it sorta tastes like a regular old BBQ chip.  It smells like it’s done been eat

once before!  This ain’t something I’d buy.  It smells like it’s been eat once and threw up! 

I give it a 2.”

Carol:  “This smells like poop!  I’ve never tasted poop before…  This is NOT ok. 

James gave it a 2?  That is too many!  I give it 0.”

David (lover of most snack foods):  “Hmmm, taco…  This tastes like a taco to me.  It

smells ok.  I wouldn’t buy this chip, but I would EAT it.  It’s ok.  I give it a 4.”

Susan:  “Peeuuu – this bag of chips smells b-a-d.  The taste is like you are eating a packet

of taco seasoning.  This isn’t a chip I want to eat much of.  I give it a 2.”

"This smells like POOP!" - Caro

Next up was the FRIED GREEN TOMATO chips, the one I suspected our Southern friends might like:
 

James:  “It tastes like they left the tomatoes out!  Well, these I could eat.  They are a lot

better than them taco chips.  I could eat these all day.  They are bland, but I could eat

‘em.  I give them a 3.5.”

Carol:  “These are bland!  There is no taste.  I keep waiting for it to taste, but there is

nothing.  It says they are “Green Tomato” but they taste like I am eating air!  I give them

a 1.”

David:  “These taste odd to me.  They are astringent – tastes like vinegar.  I am not a

big fan of this one.  I give them a 2.5.”

Susan:  “These are not bad. I would never, ever have guessed the flavor was Fried

Green Tomatoes though, it doesn’t taste like that to me.  But I could eat these.  I give

them a 3.5.”

"I could eat these all day," James

And finally, we tried the EVERYTHING BAGEL flavor:

James:  “Well, these are not my favorite, but I could eat ‘em.  If you had a dip it would

probably work out ok.  I give them a 2.”

Carol:  “These are as bad as the taco ones.  They taste like stale chips that have been in

the cabinet for a whole year.  All the flavor is gone out of ‘em.  I give them a 0.”

David:  “The cream cheese flavor is a mistake.  I do not like the texture and the taste is

greasy.  I might not even eat these if they were open and left in front of me.  (Editor’s

note:  this is highly unusual!  David will normally eat any snack food placed in front of

him.)I give them a 1.5.”

Susan:  “These taste just like sour cream to me – I do not get any “bagel” taste.  These are

a chip flavor fail.  I give them a 2.” 

David, a very discerning taste tester

So, as you can see, poor Carol, the one who is sick and I thought might have fun doing this project, HATED EVERY SINGLE CHIP.  Hahahaha!  Poor Carol!  It was as if I was doing a taste torture on her instead of a taste test. 

When we average our scores together these are the results:

CRISPY TACO:  2

FRIED GREEN TOMATO:  2.5

EVERYTHING BAGEL:  1.5

  

I guess we can all be thankful that I didn’t hear about this chip flavor contest until after the finalists were selected, otherwise we might have had to suffer through lots more tasting (though I am not sure these other 2017 semi-finalist flavors were available to the general public):

• "Lay's Bacon-Wrapped Jalapeno Popper" from Nick Arndt (Massillon, Ohio)
• "Lay's Toasted Ravioli" from Trezette Dixon (St. Louis, Mo.)
• "Lay's Wavy Avocado Toast" from Vanessa Herberger (Rancho Cucamonga, Calif.)
• "Lay's Kettle Cooked Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese" from Lindsay Hoffman (Palm City, Fla.)
• "Lay's Nashville Hot Chicken" from Hope Pan (Gainesville, Fla.)
• "Lay's Wavy Fried Green Tomato" from Gregory Pope (Charlotte, N.C.)
• "Lay's Kettle Cooked Smoked Gouda and Honey" from Brandon Foster (Saratoga Springs, Utah)
• "Lay's Wavy Spinach Artichoke Dip" from Scott Merz (Grand Haven, Mich.)
• "Lay's Crispy Taco" from Ellen Sarem (San Antonio, Texas)
• "Lay's Sloppy Joe" from Chris Vail (Seattle, Wash.)

The winner of the votes in the “Do Us a Flavor” competition ended up being (drum roll….) …  CRISPY TACO!!!  Yes, the chip that Carol said smelled like poop and James said tasted like vomit took home the grand prize of $1 million bucks.  Big Winner Announcement from Lay's link

So, while we did not quite agree with the rest of the voting public on the winning chip, I think all 4 of us neighbors had fun trying the finalists.  I think James summed up our evening pretty clearly when he declared that the Fried Green Tomato chips were the best because, and I quote, “They had no taste”.

We will miss you, Carol.  Thanks for being a great neighbor all these years, making us laugh, watching over our house, and putting up with our craziness.

Carol, one sweet neighbor