Spud Crunchies Potato Snacks*

This is a first for this review blog – not only do we have a guest reviewer today, we have a guest ANIMAL reviewer!  Yes, this is our first review by an animal, specifically, a DEER.  But I’m getting ahead of myself – let’s set the scene first.

David with our bag of Spud Crunchies

Trader Joe’s Spud Crunchies Potato Snacks* have a cute little package.  On the front are “spud crunchies” with faces drawn on them – one has a mustache and one looks like a wiener dog 😊 .   The bag says, “A chip crunch in a fun fry shape,” and lets us know they are gluten free.

Those are some cute little crunchies, no?

Here is what David thought of this snack:  “My first impression is, it is like a frozen French fry that is warmed up.  It is kind of dry.  It has a hint of potato chip-ness about, but more of a hint of potato stick-ness about it.  Now, I’m a fan of both chips and sticks, but the disadvantage here is that it is so thick, the dryness overtakes it and it is not counterbalanced enough SALT.  With regular potato sticks you are getting a fair does of salt to give it some tang…  So, I would say, I give this a 3.25.  It’s not a big winner.”

Ahhh, who can pass up a snack that doubles as a pretend cigarette???

And now for my opinion:  I agree with David.  I thought that these tasted like frozen french fries that were brought to room temperature but not cooked.  And before you say, “Susan, how in the heck would you know what that would taste like??” let me tell you that when I was a little girl, I had a friend who would only eat french fries if they were straight out of the freezer.  Anyway, when I eat these Spud Crunchies, I have memories of sitting with that person chomping on frozen french fries in the kitchen of a little house in Omaha. 

I agree with David, also, in the fact that the thickness of these crunchies dries them out.  And, to me, it also makes the inside of the crunchy tastes like styrofoam.  I don’t know if that is a TASTE or a TEXTURE thing really, but I would prefer the potato sticks of my youth that came in a little can and were super greasy.  Do they even make those things anymore???  These TJ’s Spud Crunchies are making me hungry for some of those unhealthy crappy potato sticks.  (Note to self: go to a store other than TJ’s and see if they still make those things!)  David and I agree that this Trader Joe’s version probably has less salt and less fat than the potato sticks of our youth, resulting in less taste, and c’mon, how fun is THAT?

Reasonably priced at $1.99

All that being said, they don’t taste horrible or anything.  The texture is just weird.  And I guess if you are gonna eat something chip like, you might as well eat a chip!!!  I am gonna give these a 3.

And now for our final reviewer – THIS DEER!!!! 

#CutestReviewerEver

We drove to Kentucky recently, and on our way home we stopped at Mammoth Cave National Park to check out the “world’s longest cave”.  When we pulled into the parking lot, we spied this beauty over by some unoccupied rental cabins.  We drove over near her and lo and behold if she didn’t walk right up to the car and stare at us.  I rolled down my window to say hello, but she was so close I was afraid she was going to put her runny nose right into our front seat so I had to put the window back up!!!  She was adorable, and obviously knew that people = food.

Sooooo….

David checked out our backseat food pile to see what she might like.  It was between “Naturals” Cheetos and these Spud Crunchies.  Guess which one won?? 

David was a bit timid at first, but Doe A Deer wasn't!

SHE LOVED SPUD CRUNCHIES!  She ate them right out of David’s hand!  She was ever so gentle (if a bit slobbery…) and really enjoyed the snack.  (And please don’t go on about how we should not feed the animals.  There were no signs up to warn us of that until we got inside, and then we looked at each other and went, “Oops!” and David excused himself to wash the goo off his hand…)**

Ahh, product placement!  See, she loves 'em!

Anyway, the deer (who we named Doe, A Deer) loved this product.  She had zero complaints about not enough salt or styrofoam-y texture.  She gave them a solid 5 star rating!

"Thanks for the snack, mister!"

Price:  $1.99

Rating (average of 2 humans and 1 deer):  3.75

*If you saw the article going around that said all of Trader Joe’s products could be sung to the tune “Eleanor Rigby”, then THIS product is an example of how, sadly, that claim is untrue. (Link to Buzz Feed article about TJ's products being sung to the tune of Eleanor Rigsby ) I sooo wanted it to be true!  I mean, how hilarious if every product on TJ’s shelves could be sung to a Beatle’s song, specifically to “Eleanor Rigby”!  Alas, it was too good to be true.  Try this one – SPUD CRUNCHIES POTATO SNACKS.  It sort of works if you leave off “snacks”, but let’s be honest, I hate to say this, but that whole Eleanor Rigby thing was, as some would say, fake news….

**I am in no way advocating for you to feed wild animals anything, let alone Spud Crunchies. 

Lay's "Do Us A Flavor" Potato Chip Finalists 2017

OK, this is unusual…  This is a blog to review TRADER JOE’S PRODUCTS, and here I am about to review a special selection of Lay's Potato Chips (not sold at TJ’s).  But it is a very unique circumstance, this is the one and only time I am going to stray in the blog mission, and I am feeling the need to do it, so please, humor me, ok?

Our next-door neighbors in Florida are James and Carol.  I say “James and Carol” as a unit, a grouping.  We never refer to them as “James” and “Carol”.  It is really JAMES-AND- CAROL, a one-word unit.  But now Carol is very sick.  It is inevitable that it will soon be James (sans Carol), and that is a sad reality for all of us. 

Carol, one of the sweetest neighbors you ever could meet

James-and-Carol are about as different from my partner David and I as you can imagine.  They are true Southerners – from the accents to the attitudes.  It is fun to hang out with them and chat.  They look at things from a whole different perspective than we do, and they think David and I are a bit crazy with our gallivanting around the world (ok, more than a bit crazy…).  In fact, just yesterday when I was visiting and a hospice nurse remarked to James that there was a “crazy neighbor” she had seen on our street, Carol (in her morphine induced state) smiled and quietly said, “Susan and David!” – calling us the crazy neighbors!  When we were in Florida late summer of 2017 the doctors had announced Carol’s cancer had spread.  It was getting bad, and honestly, no one knew if she would still be around when we came back to the Sunshine State in the winter. 

So, before we left town, I thought of what I thought was a fun project we could all do together:  they would help me review potato chips for my blog!  I had seen Lay's Special Flavors Potato Chips advertised and had never heard of the concept before.  Apparently Lay's has a contest (called “Do Us A Flavor” – a catchy title that sounds like something Trader Joe’s would come up with, no??) to see who can come up with the best NEW flavor, and the winner gets $1,000,000 and their chip flavor is made and sold!!  People who taste the chips go online and VOTE for which new chip flavor they like best.  I ran around to a couple of different stores to collect bags of the 2017 finalist flavors:

Crispy Taco

Wavy Fried Green Tomato

Kettle Cooked Everything Bagel (with Cream Cheese)

And then, one night shortly before we left to drive back up to DC, I busted out the chips!  I figured, hey, one of the flavors is Fried Green Tomato, they are bound to like that one!  And it was a game we didn’t have to leave the comfort of their home for, so it seemed perfect.

Everyone was all smiles before the bags were opened...

Perfect, that is, until we actually tasted the chips……

James-and-Carol (who will have to be separated and referred to individually for the rest of this article, since they reviewed the food individually) did NOT like these chips!  Their comments cracked me up – I was rolling on the floor laughing as they ate them.  The whole idea of reviewing food seemed ridiculous to them, too.  But hey, it was crazy neighbor Susan’s game, so they went along with it.

Meet the reviewers:

James – age 77, from Kentucky

Carol – age 67 – also from Kentucky

David – our normal TJ’s reviewer, from a suburb of Washington DC

And me – originally from Nebraska, but a tried and true East Coast girl since 2000

We rated these chips like David and I normally rate Trader Joe’s products – on a scale of 0 – 5, with 5 being the highest). 

First. we tried the CRISPY TACO chips.  Here is what the reviewers thought:

James:  “Well, it sorta tastes like a regular old BBQ chip.  It smells like it’s done been eat

once before!  This ain’t something I’d buy.  It smells like it’s been eat once and threw up! 

I give it a 2.”

Carol:  “This smells like poop!  I’ve never tasted poop before…  This is NOT ok. 

James gave it a 2?  That is too many!  I give it 0.”

David (lover of most snack foods):  “Hmmm, taco…  This tastes like a taco to me.  It

smells ok.  I wouldn’t buy this chip, but I would EAT it.  It’s ok.  I give it a 4.”

Susan:  “Peeuuu – this bag of chips smells b-a-d.  The taste is like you are eating a packet

of taco seasoning.  This isn’t a chip I want to eat much of.  I give it a 2.”

"This smells like POOP!" - Caro

Next up was the FRIED GREEN TOMATO chips, the one I suspected our Southern friends might like:
 

James:  “It tastes like they left the tomatoes out!  Well, these I could eat.  They are a lot

better than them taco chips.  I could eat these all day.  They are bland, but I could eat

‘em.  I give them a 3.5.”

Carol:  “These are bland!  There is no taste.  I keep waiting for it to taste, but there is

nothing.  It says they are “Green Tomato” but they taste like I am eating air!  I give them

a 1.”

David:  “These taste odd to me.  They are astringent – tastes like vinegar.  I am not a

big fan of this one.  I give them a 2.5.”

Susan:  “These are not bad. I would never, ever have guessed the flavor was Fried

Green Tomatoes though, it doesn’t taste like that to me.  But I could eat these.  I give

them a 3.5.”

"I could eat these all day," James

And finally, we tried the EVERYTHING BAGEL flavor:

James:  “Well, these are not my favorite, but I could eat ‘em.  If you had a dip it would

probably work out ok.  I give them a 2.”

Carol:  “These are as bad as the taco ones.  They taste like stale chips that have been in

the cabinet for a whole year.  All the flavor is gone out of ‘em.  I give them a 0.”

David:  “The cream cheese flavor is a mistake.  I do not like the texture and the taste is

greasy.  I might not even eat these if they were open and left in front of me.  (Editor’s

note:  this is highly unusual!  David will normally eat any snack food placed in front of

him.)I give them a 1.5.”

Susan:  “These taste just like sour cream to me – I do not get any “bagel” taste.  These are

a chip flavor fail.  I give them a 2.” 

David, a very discerning taste tester

So, as you can see, poor Carol, the one who is sick and I thought might have fun doing this project, HATED EVERY SINGLE CHIP.  Hahahaha!  Poor Carol!  It was as if I was doing a taste torture on her instead of a taste test. 

When we average our scores together these are the results:

CRISPY TACO:  2

FRIED GREEN TOMATO:  2.5

EVERYTHING BAGEL:  1.5

  

I guess we can all be thankful that I didn’t hear about this chip flavor contest until after the finalists were selected, otherwise we might have had to suffer through lots more tasting (though I am not sure these other 2017 semi-finalist flavors were available to the general public):

• "Lay's Bacon-Wrapped Jalapeno Popper" from Nick Arndt (Massillon, Ohio)
• "Lay's Toasted Ravioli" from Trezette Dixon (St. Louis, Mo.)
• "Lay's Wavy Avocado Toast" from Vanessa Herberger (Rancho Cucamonga, Calif.)
• "Lay's Kettle Cooked Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese" from Lindsay Hoffman (Palm City, Fla.)
• "Lay's Nashville Hot Chicken" from Hope Pan (Gainesville, Fla.)
• "Lay's Wavy Fried Green Tomato" from Gregory Pope (Charlotte, N.C.)
• "Lay's Kettle Cooked Smoked Gouda and Honey" from Brandon Foster (Saratoga Springs, Utah)
• "Lay's Wavy Spinach Artichoke Dip" from Scott Merz (Grand Haven, Mich.)
• "Lay's Crispy Taco" from Ellen Sarem (San Antonio, Texas)
• "Lay's Sloppy Joe" from Chris Vail (Seattle, Wash.)

The winner of the votes in the “Do Us a Flavor” competition ended up being (drum roll….) …  CRISPY TACO!!!  Yes, the chip that Carol said smelled like poop and James said tasted like vomit took home the grand prize of $1 million bucks.  Big Winner Announcement from Lay's link

So, while we did not quite agree with the rest of the voting public on the winning chip, I think all 4 of us neighbors had fun trying the finalists.  I think James summed up our evening pretty clearly when he declared that the Fried Green Tomato chips were the best because, and I quote, “They had no taste”.

We will miss you, Carol.  Thanks for being a great neighbor all these years, making us laugh, watching over our house, and putting up with our craziness.

Carol, one sweet neighbor 

Ghost Pepper Potato Chips (Lattice Cut Kettle Cooked)

The Ghost Pepper Potato Chip package says:

“If spicy flavors bring you joy,

More than any game or toy,

Then try these chips with loads of heat

find crunch that simply can’t be beat. 

We’ve used a chili called the ghost,

providing heat which we can boast

Is hotter ‘n jalapeno or habanero. 

And so we issue you a dare-o

To grab a bag and take a bite

Of chips packed full of ghostly fright.”

I mean - GET OUT…  Any product that has a great poem on the bag is off to a good start, no???  We tried this at the Fairfax, Virginia Trader Joe’s when they were sampling them and can I just say:  TRADER JOE’S FOR THE WIN!

After sampling, David is obviously happy to be snagging a bag of these chips!

This is an excellent new product.  I was a bit nervous about tasting them because the sample lady warned us that “These are the hottest peppers eveeeer.  They are hotter than JALAPENOS!”.  In my opinion, they are not super spicy.  I mean, they have a kick to them, they are hot, but they are not TOO spicy.  Normally when I eat spicy things I do not want to pair them with anything else because the spicy flavor “ruins” the taste of what you are pairing it with.  But for these chips we paired them with Trader Joe’s Onion Dip (to be reviewed at a later time) and the two worked really well together. 

These chips are GREAT to eat on their own and super to eat with a dip!  I have never eaten “lattice cut chips” (that I can recall) but they are a good invention!  They make grabbing and holding onto dip easy – you don’t get any of that “dip slide off” that you sometimes get with other chips.  These chips also do not bust when you plunge them in the dip, no chip bits plop off and mess up your dip.

These chips really "grip your dip" (that's a good thing)

Here is what David thought of this product: “I agree with a lot of what Susan said.  The taste is good.  These fill a niche for people who would like more taste with their potato chips – they are very nice!  The taste is light enough to not be overpowering, like some kinds of BBQ powder poured on chips.  They really go lovely with TJ’s Onion Dip.  The lattice cut thing is good, too.  They are great for dipping – they don’t SNAP OFF like regular potato chips."

Reasonably priced - not only do you get CHIPS, you get a POEM!

David continued, "The only thing is – I got ONE that was a “pile-on” of about 6 chips melded together.  That is a minor inconvenience, because they are so tasty, but it would be nice if their processing of making these allowed them all to dry separately so they were individual in the bag.  I would give these a 4.75.”

Susan here again with one more thing – these DO make your fingers a tiny bit dirty.  You might imagine they would make them RED (since they are “ghost pepper” and all) but they are not red.  And they do not coat you with a thick goo on your fingers like if you indulge in Cheetos.  Plus, the goo comes off if you LICK YOUR FINGERS.  J

David usually doesn’t like kettle chips, and he LIKES these!  So Trader Joe’s, I hope you don’t stop making these.  Don’t say these are just a summer product, ok?  These will taste yummy in the middle of winter, too.

Bonus photo - READ THE SIGNS David...

I agree with David – these chips are a 4.75.  GET SOME!

Price – $2.29 (well worth the price)

Rating – 4.75

Day 300 - Turkey and Stuffing Seasoned Kettle Chips

I MADE IT TO DAY 300 OF THIS PROJECT!!!!

And hey, we went to ANOTHER NEW TRADER JOE’S!  That is 21 locations visited so far since January 1^st of this year.  This one was in Bethesda, MD (a suburb of Washington DC).  It is an oddly set up store!  There is construction of some sort going on outside (in the parking garage I think).  The parking is free, which is nice.  Sadly, there is no real signage outside the store to draw people in.  We had to really look around to find the store (we had the address programmed into GPS so knew we were there, but where WAS it??). 

Whew, we found it!

 The store itself is also a bit strangely set up.  It just seems like it needs to be BIGGER all around.  The aisles are very narrow and we often found ourselves feeling in people’s way with our cart (which was just one of the tiny carts).  The check-out stations are very bizarre.  They are on a diagonal and seemed to be a big ol’ mess really – people waiting in line to check out blocked even more arteries of the store.  It seems like an expansion and a good, long redesign for the set up of the entire store are in order.

Outside what we think is supposed to be the main entrance of the store.  Check out the great flowers David got me!

BUT let’s ignore the physical set up of the store and focus instead on the employees - which were super nice.  We met one really great employee and I WISH I had written her name down but I didn’t.  I hope she sees this and replies!  She was back by the sampling station and was super friendly.  I told her about the blog and about this being our 21^st Trader Joe’s to visit for the project and she thought it was cool, then asked if we had tried the new Turkey and Stuffing Seasoned Kettle Chips.

Ummmmm, that would be an n-o…

Does THAT look like a chip you see and think "Yum, I must have it"??

David doesn’t like kettle chips (too hard and crunchy) and I don’t normally like oddly flavored chips.  I want plain, simple, humble chips, thank you very much!

She saw us wrinkle our noses up after she mentioned these and grabbed a bag saying, “Wanna try ‘em??”.

I need to pause in the review here to remind you all again – you can TRY stuff at Trader Joe’s.  It is an excellent policy.  It goes beyond being “customer focused”.  Seriously, it is great!  We hadn’t even ASKED to try these, in fact I am guessing that our facial expressions were asking to NOT try them.  But she took it upon herself to grab a bag and open them.  She took the bag to the sampling station and had the lady working there put a few chips in little paper cups for us to taste. 

And do you know what?  It resulted in a sale.  That is $1.99 that Trader Joe’s would NEVER have gotten out of us.  We didn’t even see these chips before she mentioned them (display note:  those are up too high for short people to see on the rack in the back of the store, move ‘em down).  And even if we HAD seen them, trust me, we would not have purchased them if she didn’t give us a taste.  And I am guessing the one bag of open chips resulted in other sales, too, since the sample lady was going to serve the rest to other people.  My totally unscientific guess is that 7 out of 10 times when they go out of their way and open something especially for a customer to taste it results in a sale.

It turns out they are GOOD!

So here is our review of these wacky chips:

Susan – These are a good example of grocery shopping when you are hungry.  We left with a product we might never have bought.  But honestly, we bought it because of the “taste test” policy mostly.  The first bite of these chips is a little bit startling.  Even the smell of it, really!  It is a CHIP that smells like TURKEY.  That’s bizarre!!  But this chip really does capture the taste of Thanksgiving!  You can taste turkey, stuffing, and whatever herb is in stuffing (I think it is sage).  They are crunchy but not as crunchy as some kettle chips which is good.   This is a fun seasonal product!  When the lady showed us the bag David said he thought Trader Joe’s had “jumped the shark”.  I mean, like, seriously…  You are going to do TURKEY AND STUFFING CHIPS???  But he liked them, too!   He even wanted to open the bag and munch on them on the way home!

David – “It is true!  And like Susan said, they are not too “gum tearing up crunchy” like kettle chips sometimes are, which is good.  They are easy on the turkey flavor, which I don’t even know what turkey flavor would be, cuz turkey is essentially a flavorless meat…  But the whole taste is the EXPERIENCE of a nice turkey dinner.  A little bit of turkey, some stuffing, and maybe it is sage I am tasting in addition.”

These are a cool seasonal item.  They are a fun alternative to the plethora of pumpkin that is vomited everywhere this time of year.  We will enjoy the heck out of this one bag then call it an autumn. 

Buy these as an alternative to loads of pumpkin crap. 

Price - $1.99

Rating - 4