Black Bean Rotini

This is a new Trader Joe’s product.  I found it on an end cap (you know, those shelves on the end of an aisle that retailers use to get your attention to sell you stuff).  I need to pause here to say this:  I do NOT read other online reviews of Trader Joe’s products before we try them. I do not want our opinions to be in any way influenced by what other people think of products.  However, you can bet your sweet bippy that as soon as I finished writing this review I am gonna check and see what other people thought about Trader Joe’s Black Bean Crap-ini – errr, I mean Rotini!!  But before I can begin my review, let me just say this:  if anyone else gave this a GOOD review, they are either getting paid by Trader Joe’s or they are drunk.  This is a super shi**y product. 

See this?  Don't buy it.

This is a horrible product.

We bought this rotini at our Northern Virginia Trader Joe’s.  It seemed interesting!  We planned on making the recipe for the shrimp pasta dish on the back of the bag, but we didn’t have time to make it at home, so we brought the crap-ini with us to Florida.  Last night we followed the recipe on the back of the bag, but we had to improvise a bit since there is not a Trader Joe’s near us here.  Instead of using TJ’s “Mushroom Medley” or “Roasted Peppers and Onions”, we used fresh mushrooms, peppers, and onions.  We didn’t have a jar of TJ’s Alfredo Sauce with us (which got a great review in this blog here ) so we bought another brand of sauce.  And instead of using TJ’s frozen shrimp, we went to a special fish store (Hull’s in Ormond Beach, FL, which rocks!) and bought fresh local shrimp.  Yes, we put a lot of heart into this meal…

The part we made – the veggies, sauce, and shrimp – was really good.

The pasta part – the Black Bean Rotini – was DISGUSTING.

Even David didn't like it.

Luckily we TASTED it before we poured our delectable sauce over it!  I would have been steaming mad if that excuse for a pasta had ruined the tasty sauce we made!!  I almost barfed when I tasted it, then we literally THREW IT AWAY.  We had made half a package and we pitched all of it into the garbage can.  We do NOT throw food away – there are too many people who go to bed hungry, and we do not have money to waste.  But that stuff was too gross to eat…  I taped up the other half of the bag and put it in our stuff to bring back home with us so that we can return it to Trader Joe’s.  And you can bet I will give them a link to this review when we return it so they can see exactly what we thought of it. 

I call it “Black Sh*t Rotini” instead of Black Bean Rotini.   We ended up eating our lovely shrimp sauce over leftover, reheated rice, and that was way better than the crapini!! 

The Black Bean Crapini was interesting LOOKING, but that is the only positive thing I can say about it.  It is a horrible texture in your mouth and the taste of it is soooo bad!!!  I mean, I like me some black beans, and I love me some pasta, but THIS, this ain’t either of those things!!  I give this product a big, fat ZERO (and I think only 2 other things have gotten a zero in this blog – the super disgusting Pumpkin Scones ( reviewed here ) and the undrinkable Cranberry Juice ( gross juice reviewed here ).  Heck, even that yucky Coconut Water got a .75, the Cherry Cider that tasted like drinking cough syrup got a 1.75 ( coconut water review here ), and the most ever read review on this blog, the “Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm” eeked out a 1.5 ( read this review before you invest in this head to toe crap ) !!

This coconut water was pretty rank, but it was still better than Black Bean Rotini...  Review here

Here is what David thought of it:  “I would have to concur with what Susan said.  It is BAD.  I mean, not as bad as rancid meat or fish, but the consistency is PASTY…  And then it is nothing like a PASTA…  There was nothing appealing at all in the taste.  I am a guy who rarely throws stuff out, but I didn’t want to eat it at all.  I would rather just find something else to eat, which is what we did.

Maybe, if you are a, you know, some sort of a vegan-loving straight-up masochistic vegetarian who likes things that taste bad, then this Black Bean Rotini will be appealing!!    I mean, I love me some bean thread noodles!  You can make noodles out of beans that are tasty…  But this???  Oh my God…

But this is a win!  This is a good news story.  TJ’s rotating stock encouraged us to try something NEW, which we did, and even though we didn’t like it, we are going to be able to take it back, give them our feedback, and get our money back.  That’s why we love Trader Joe’s!  I would have to give it a zero, too.”

We will take our money back for this one please.

Well, it looks like this is one that David and I agree on -- it is one of the worst Trader Joe’s products that we have tasted.  We very rarely use Trader Joe’s liberal return policy, but if annnnything deserves your money back, it is this bag of crap.  Seriously, if you have not figured it out yet from the rest of this review, this black bean pasta is horrible.  #NewProductFAIL. 

No, we did not overcook it.  But it was not a winner in our book.
Sorry for the crude photo, but this product angered me a bit.  :) 

Price – $2.99

Rating - 0

Day 365 - FINAL OFFICIAL DAY and review of Blason de Bourgogne Brut Reserve Crement de Bourgogne Burgundy

THIS IS IT!!  I can seriously say, I DID IT.  365 days.  1 product EVERY.  SINGLE.  DAY.  A whole year!  Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!

Let’s look at a few stats:

·         I took at least 1,850 photos for this project. I say “at least” because I do not have an exact count.  I tried to keep them organized in a folder but sometimes life just got too out of control, so some are thrown about in other places on my laptop.  Many of them were featured in the blog, some were total duds and never saw the light of day, until now…  J

Florida Lager - scary in the store for some reason, but never reviewed...

"Scary Clown" wine - never reviewed

English Breakfast Tea - never reviewed

·         Each entry took an average of 45 – 50 minutes to write (I think).  If we add all of those together, I spent around 304 hours this year writing this blog.  That is ALMOST THIRTEEN FULL DAYS (if I worked round the clock) just to WRITE the blog (not counting taking photos, cooking, tasting…)

·         55 guest reviewers participated (counting each guest reviewer only once even if they tasted on more than one day)

Guest reviewer Elizabeth

·         Of the 55 guest reviewers, at least 8 of them were complete strangers before I asked them to participate  J

·         One review was in ASL see it here

·         I reviewed 29 wines (that is almost a full month of wine!) (30 wines if you count today's review!!)

Wine is Fine

·         One review was via Skype see it here

·         35 products got coveted 5 star reviews!

·         Only 2 products got 0 star reviews – Cranberry Juice (here) and Pumpkin Scones (here )

Poopy Pumpkin Scones

·         The blog keeps a running tally of the 10 most popular posts.  I am proud that as of the moment I am writing that list is really varied!  It contains 1 pasta, 1 fish, 3 toiletry items, 1 snack food, 3 wines, and one chocolate!!  The bottom 1 or 2 entries change frequently.

·         The entry with the most views BY FAR is the one about Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm.  It sucked as a product (1.5 stars) but people must really like that review cuz it has 1,843 views.  J  You can see it here:  here.

For some reason this review is super popular

·         We visited 24 Trader Joe’s stores this year

OMAHA Trader Joe's

·         We visited Trader Joe’s stores in 11 states (plus one District) this year

·         Of all of those visits, only one store (Clarendon, VA) and TJ’s corporate replied to letter I sent to each one (except Jacksonville Beach – your letter is coming)

·         I met one reader in person this year – Ttrockwood, in Chelsea, NYC (see her here)

·         I did reusable bag and honey exchanges with 2 other readers this year (a 3^rd was tentatively scheduled but cancelled due to circumstances beyond our control).

A reader SENT me these!!!  So nice!!!

·         I gave away around 120 business cards for the blog (I am not a great marketer…).

·         One review featured a video of an original song about bacon

• And final stat - as of this morning, the blog has surpassed 75,000 total hits!!!

And now, with n further ado, drum roll please…  May I present, with a couple of tears, the FINAL REVIEW for this year long Trader Joe’s 365 review project!!!

I decided to close out this amazing project with a bang - well, with a BUBBLY!!!  We went to Trader Joe's to get a champagne to have a double celebration:  making it through the year of reviews, and NEW YEAR’S EVE!! 

David making his fancy pants hoity toity face with our "champagne" purchase

Only, we ran into a slight glitch...  The blog technically finishes TODAY, December 31, 2015, and New Year’s doesn't really happen until MIDNIGHT, making it January 1, 2016...  I couldn't wait until midnight to pop open the bubbly to review, because then I would have missed a day on the blog!

So we did the only sensible thing - WE MOVED NEW YEAR'S UP A NIGHT!  Yes siree, we celebrated New Year’s (and the blog) last night!!  (Of course we will celebrate AGAIN tonight, but for you, gentle reader, we will sacrifice and celebrate twice...) 

BREAK OUT THE BUBBLY - it's faux New Year's Eve!!

The "champagne" we chose has to have quotation marks around it, because in actuality it is a sparkling wine and not a champagne (which can only come from a specific region in France).  But hey, champagne without quotation marks was out of our budget, and maybe it is out of yours too, so we got this sparkling wine which I shall refer to as "champagne".  

After a day at the beach and an evening of putting together an Ikea Stuva (see here - who says it is just for a kid's bedroom? It screams "kitchen storage unit" to me!!) we busted out the "champagne" (Blason de Bourgogne Brut Reserve Crement de Bourgogne Burgundy) with our friend Kathy. 

Beach kindness - David "saving" a jelly fish/man o' war (he was a tiny bit alive but still floated back to the sand.
RIP little fella)

Wheee - THE BEACH!!!!

David feeding his buddies

Here is what we all thought:

Kathy - "This is light and refreshing.  It is quite nice.  I don't really know much about champagne, so I can't compare it.  So I am not comparing it to anything else, I am just taking it on its own face value.  I would give it a 4.5."

Nothing says fancy like plastic flutes.

David - "I like this better than many fancy champagnes that I have drunk.  (Editor’s note:  I think David must have drunk fancy champagnes in a former life before he was reincarnated as himself, cuz I have been hanging out with him for quite a few years now and “fancy champagnes” are not normally on his list of drinks…)   I think it is tasty in the sense that it is, as my wife says when she is referring to me, FRUITY!  And it has a lot of taste and it tastes like WINE, which is better than CHAMPAGNE, which usually to me just tastes like bubbles and effervescence, which I am sure is what it is supposed to do, but I like WINE.  So there ya go.  I will give this a 4.75."

The fancier the people are, the higher the pinky is raised.  Proven fact.  :)

Me – I like champagne.  I don’t normally have it often, and now I realize that probably what I have drunk before at places that tell me they are serving me champagne is really “champagne” (sparkling wine like this is).   I mean, if they just put it in a fancy glass and tell you it is champagne you go with it, right? 

I like this TJ’s “champagne” better than many champagnes or “champagnes” I have been served in the past because this seems lighter, fruitier, and not soooo dry.  Sometimes champagne/”champagne” has a weird thing where you are more thirsty after you drink it than before you drank it!  It is just so dryyyyy.  But this one doesn’t feel like that, and I enjoyed it. 

This “champagne” was a nice celebratory way to ring in the “New Year”.  I GIVE IT A 5.  (But I have to admit that the 5 is as much (perhaps more even more so) for the completion of this project as it is for the taste of this particular drink. 

After hearing my rating of a 5, David changed his to a 5, too! And after hearing David raise HIS score, Kathy raised HERS, too.  J  So in the end it was unanimous – A FIVE FOR THE “CHAMPAGNE” AND A FIVE FOR THE BLOG!!!  J

A TOAST TO TRADER JOE’S!  AND TO THE NEW YEAR!!!

TO TRADER JOE'S!!!!

Price – $9.99

Rating - 5

Thank you again for reading this year.  I will post infrequent reviews from this point forward, probably mostly TJ’s products that we find that we adore or make us gag.  J

But I would love to keep in contact with you and perhaps inspire you to spread some kindness with my NEW PROJECT – Kindness Activist.  Find it here:

·         Blog – KindnessActivist.blogspot.com

·         Facebook – Kindness Activist

·         Email – kindnessactivist@gmail.com

·         Twitter – @kindactivist, Kindness Activist, pw Kindness Activist 1

See you on the new kindness blog.  And in the meantime, keep shopping at Trader Joe’s!!!!  (And if you happen to see David and I shopping at a TJ’s, pleeeeease come over and say hi!!)

New year, new project :)

Day 182 - HALF WAY POINT and Review of Dulce de Leche

THE YEAR IS EXACTLY HALF WAY OVER!  The way I figure it, there are 365 days in a year.  Divide that by two to get the midpoint, which is 182.5.  So the way I figure it, half way through day 182 (which is July 1, 2015) is THE MIDDLE OF THIS YEAR LONG BLOG!!!

  

This has nothing to do with Trader Joe's.  It is a fuzzy photo of me on the beach in my pajamas and pink Crocs on
Christmas Day 2014 :)

Yes, I have done 182 reviews.  That sounds like a ton to me, especially when I think, “Wait, that means I still have 182 more reviews to write???”.  The majority of the work on this project has been very fun.  I have visited (I think) a total of 13 different Trader Joe’s stores in 8 different states (well, one was a District) with 2 more states and stores (that I know of) planned for this summer!  When I count them all up it makes it sound like I have been to a lot of states and stores!!  I have taken photos inside all of the stores we visited (and outside many of them) and never once gotten in trouble or even asked, “Why are you taking a close up photo of that pricing sign??”.  One time an employee did politely decline to be IN one of my photos, which was perfectly acceptable to me. 

I would say of all of the stores I have been in, my favorite one was probably on U Street in Washington DC.  They had free parking with a super cool parking attendant that really made us laugh.  They also had the best artwork behind their customer service station.  You can see it if you check out Day 106.  The worst parking lot of any Trader Joe’s I have seen so far is by far the La Jolla, CA store.  If that was my local store I would go nuts trying to park there.

The coolest store was obviously the New York City WINE store – a whole Trader Joe’s with just wine.  Ahhhh heaven.  Annnd they do free wine tastings every single day.  Day 95 has a photo of my opinion on this store J .

As far as reviews go, at this half-way point there have been definite winners and some downright CLUNKERS.  17 products have garnered rave 5 STAR reviews, and 2 have bottomed out with 0 stars…  The most commonly given star number in the reviews so far is a 4 (33 products have gotten a 4). 

As far as the blog itself goes, the most views of any review is by far Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm.  It was a clunker of a product (only got a 1.5 star review on Day 89) but as of June 30^th it had 426 views!  Maybe it’s because the review is pretty funny.  Another often read post is the one on Chicken Pot Pie Ravioli (Day 160), which has 203 views.  I think people are finding that one because they are considering buying it and wonder if such a weird product would taste good (the answer is – YES it does).  Ocarossa Wine is also one that gets a lot of views (178 views) on day 26. 

So let me take a peek at the first 182 days – the first half of this project – and tell you know how some things stand:

·         Best Red Wine – Georges Duboeuf Beaujolais Nouveau, 4.5 stars on Day 2

·         Best White Wine – tie between Kono Sauvignon Blanc, 4.0 stars on Day 174 and Charles Shaw Pinot Grigio, 4.0 stars on Day 43

·         Worst Wine – Grand Reserve Meritage, .5 stars on Day 13

·         Best Coffee (out of 9 Trader Joe’s (I think) coffees that I have tried so far this year) – Ethiopian, 4.25 stars on Day 138

·         Best Dessert – Cocoa Dusted Truffles with Toffee Bits, 4.75 stars on Day 126

·         Worst Dessert – Pumpkin Scones, 0 stars on Day 23

·         Close 2^nd in the category of Worst Dessert – Peach Raspberry Pie, 15 stars on Day 35

·         Best Drink – San Pellegrino Limonata, 5 stars (and a hilarious review) on Day 141

·         Worst Drink – Cranberry Juice, 0 stars on Day 163

·         Best Toiletry Item – Lavender Hand Lotion, 5 stars on Day 120

·         Worst Toiletry Item – Head to Toe Moisturizing Lotion, 1.5 stars on Day 89

·         Best New Finds:

o   Chicken Pot Pie Raviolli, 4.75 stars on Day 160

o   Chicago Popcorn (aka Caramel and Cheddar Mix), 5 stars on Day 100

o   Thai Green Curry Simmer Sauce, 4.75 stars on Day 135

o   Chocolate Covered Sea Salt Butterscotch Caramels, 4.5 stars on Day 111

o   Kale Sprouts, 5 stars on Day 36

o   Saucy Scallions with Mushrooms, 4.75 stars on Day 91

o   Cara Cara Navel Oranges, 5 stars on day 66

·         Best Snacks – tie between Omega Trek Mix, 4.75 stars on Day 82, and Partially Popped Popcorn, 4.75 stars on Day 74

·         Best Meat – Filet Mignon, 4.75 stars on Day 114

·         Best Salad – Greens and Seeds, 4.75 on Day 121

·         Best Snack Food – Mediterranean Hummus, 4.75 stars on Day 154

·         Staples we were reminded of and continue to love:

o   Sunflower Seed Butter, 4.75 stars on Day 96

o   Eggs, 5 stars on Day 64

o   Capers, 5 stars on Day 58

But writing this blog has not been ALL fun and eating.  It can get a bit stressful and tiring feeling that I MUST write a new review of a different product every single day.  I go through periods where I really ENJOY the shopping, tasting, and writing, and periods where it is more of a chore.   Especially if I am travelling to a city that does not have a Trader Joe’s and I am not “ahead” in my reviews – I have to PACK Trader Joe’s food to bring, eat, and review.  But I definitely want to see this mission through to completion!  I am HALF WAY DONE and, as they say on one of the world’s worst “reality” TV shows that I hate to admit I watch (“Naked and Afraid”), “I am not tapping out!”.  (Side note:  I really feel the producers need to make them say QUIT.  Because QUIT is what tapping out is…  Every time they say “tap out” David and I look at each other and say, “Do you mean quit??”.  But I digress…)

See how many TJ's products I have to squirrel away when I go to a place without a TJ's??  It is difficult!  (And right after we took this photo I found about 5 more products I had brought with me to review...)

I am writing this entry the evening of June 30^th – the night before it will be posted.  The blog has almoooost 8,000 views, averaging out to 44 views per day.  Every great once in a while someone will post a comment, which always makes me have a huge smile.  If you enjoy reading it or find it worthwhile, please share the URL with a friend.  Thanks.

And now, onto TODAY’S REVIEW!

Dulce de leche! 

A good price for a jar of deliciousness...

I found this lovely little jar on the shelf of our local Northern Virginia Trader Joe’s recently and knew it would be good to bring on the road for being in a location with no TJ’s.  I just looked up the word “dulce de leche” and learned that it means “candy (or sweet) made from milk”.  Hey, it is made from MILK?  That means it is HEALTHY, right?  I’m in!!

Creamy-smooth is not a lie - it IS creamy-smooth!

 This is very tasty!  I had it this morning on a piece of toast (as that was one of the recommended ways to serve it listed on the jar).  It reminds me of one of my favorite TJ’s products, a sauce that is almost the same color and I think the jar it is in is the same size as this one – Fleur Del Sel Caramel Sauce (which got a 5 star review on day 132).  In fact, now that I look at the review for the caramel sauce, I realize I should have sliced up a banana this morning and put it on my toast with this dulce de leche sauce! 

Ahhh - breakfast.  Orange juice, coffee, toast with Dulce de Leche, and PARCHEESI!

But seriously, this product is totally worth a try.  It is sweet and creamy and delicious.  Another serving suggestion is to eat it with a big chunk of chocolate – oh yeah – I am going to have to try THAT ONE… 

If you want to learn more about dulce de leche in general, check out the Wikipedia article about it:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dulce_de_leche

Price - $2.99

Rating – 4.75

Day 23 - Pumpkin Scones

If you are new to Trader Joe’s let me explain something – they come out with special products at the holidays.  These things are only available during that holiday season – get them, eat them, and don’t expect to see them again until the following year.  These Iced Pumpkin Scones came to Trader Joe’s when they must have decided, “Let’s do EVERYTHING pumpkin!” around Halloween/Thanksgiving 2014.  They had pumpkin coffee, pumpkin cakes, pumpkin beer, pumpkin everything – including these unfortunate scones.

We don’t eat a lot of scones, and we do not eat a lot of pumpkin flavored stuff.  But for some reason I felt we needed to try some, maybe it was the peer pressure of, “Everybody ELSE is eating pumpkin….”.  So I threw them in our cart.

Bleck.  They really did not have any good qualities.  They were not a good texture.  They were definitely not a good taste (overly pumpkin, nutmeg, and sugar).  The icing on them was sweeter than, well, sweeter than sweet. And they were not even PRETTY.  When I laid some out on a plate to try and pass them off to unsuspecting guests, they looked a bit like poo plops…  I guess it is no wonder the guests went for other sweets! 

Poo plops - errr - I mean Pumpkin Scones.

I do not know how much we paid for these sad little scones, but I know whatever it was it was too much.  We didn’t return them (we should have), we threw them out.  When they come round again next year you won’t find any in our house!  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, well, … , ummm, you’re not gonna fool me again.

Price - ?? (because “pumpkin season” is officially over, I cannot find the price)

Rating – 0 stars