Fruit Fancies

If you are new to Trader Joe’s, you may not know about HOLIDAY PRODUCTS.  Oh, November and December are magical months at Trader Joe’s!!  Products appear on the shelves that you have never seen before (or at least haven’t seen since last holiday season)!!  The die hards (like me) rush to Trader Joe’s as soon as word gets out that the holiday items are trickling in.  And each trip to the grocery store turns into an exciting journey – what will I find this time?  What will be new?  What special treat will make its way into my cart???

It was in that holiday haze that the FRUIT FANCIES made their way into our lives. 

Aren't they pretty?  And don't they look FANCY?  I mean, the word FANCY is right there in the NAME!

Do you think the sign maker at the Fairfax Virginia store had tasted these and KNEW they were not fancy, thus made them this pretty non-fancy sign?  That's my theory.  It was a SIGN...  A sign I should have paid attention to...

What can I say, I was smitten???  They looked good to me for some reason…  Sure, they seemed sort of like “Grandma and Grandpa” treats.  Or like little rolled up turds covered in sesame seeds and coconut.  But the BOX – oh man – the BOX they came in was lovely!  It had dovetailed corners!  The box is what sold me.  That, and the fact that we were heading to Omaha to celebrate the holidays, and we would be staying with my dad and his wife, who are not only Grandparents, they are Great-Grandparents!  So even if this treat was “Grandparent food”, we would be sharing it with actual grandparents, so all would be good!

I asked my dad to make a funny face.  He did.  I love it.  

Only, we never got around to eating them in Omaha…  So, they came back, unopened, then made their way to Florida!  “We will bring them next door and share them with the neighbors,” I reasoned.  Only, you see where this is going, we didn’t do that either.

Christmas Day 2017 - too busy to be bothered by Fruit Fancies...

So, before you know it, it was the last day of January and the Fruit Fancies were still unopened.  But after we ate dinner while watching “Amazing Race” (go team Brainiacs!) , David ripped into these special treat, and, well, they ended up being not so special after all…   Oh, and before you say, “Susan, of course they tasted like %&*#, they were a HOLIDAY ITEM and you let them sit until almost February!  They were too old!” – N-O.  They didn’t expire until 11/18. 

OK, here is what we thought of them:

David:  “Well, these are different.  They are like Fig Newtons that have even less moisture in them, and perhaps a little extra fiber.  They are dry.  The mouth feel is not a joy ride for me.  These things suck the moisture right out of your mouth!  I give them a 1.  The reason I am not giving them a 0 is that they do not taste bad, they just do not taste good.  The box is alright, but it is a little skinny to use for anything else.  I have to respect the dovetail jointing.”

David didn't fancy these, did fancy them at all.  

Susan:  I am just gonna say it – I was duped by the wooden, dovetailed box.  They punked me!  I think the term for this type of duped is “The Hickory Farm Effect”.  You know how Hickory Farms always had (is it has – does PF still exist in the MALL SETTING where they had special displays of meat and cheese for the holidays?) really attractive PACKAGING?  Like, “Put it in a basket, then the dyed orange cheese with pimentos and nuts will sell!!”.  Yeah – Trader Joe’s Hickory Farmed me with this one! 

The treats looked very pretty in the packaging.  Each one was topped with a whole nut on top – some with almonds and some with walnuts.  The things that “encrusted” each piece – sesame seeds or coconut – looked lovingly applied.  Each piece looked like a fancy, Mediterranean delight.  To my EYES, they looked like they would taste a bit exotic, sweet, a bit juicy, perhaps fig-like, and yummy.

But EYES are not what actually TASTE things… 

These are a product from Turkey.  But they are not “from Turkey” in a sexy, romantic, exotic kind of way.  They are not good.  I ate 2 – one of each variety.  I thought David ate ONE, but later learned he could only stomach ¼ of 1 and threw out the rest (that man never throws out a sweet!!). 

The NUT on top of each piece was nice, but there was only one nut per piece.  I guess a person could just pop the nut off the top of each one and eat only that, but it would be easier and cheaper just to head over to the TJ’s nut aisle and get yourself a whole bag of nuts.  I will give this product a 1.5 (the majority of the score is for the cool box and the nuts on top).

Sorry Trader Joe's, we don't really want these anymore....

Let this be a lesson to me (and to you): not ALL Trader Joe’s holiday products are lovely.  Even the pretty ones are sometimes duds.  Luckily, Trader Joe’s happily accepts any returns, so we took this back.  Our cashier saw the return and said, “Oh yeah, I didn’t like those things either…” 😊 . 

You can’t get this product at Trader Joe’s right now since it was seasonal, but if it does come back next year, I suggest you pass.  Grab some of the other delightful items, and leave them for some other sucker to get Hickory Farmed.

Price:  $5.99 

Rating:  1.25

Chocolate Almond Butter Tarte (the "e" on the end makes it fancy!)

We had a very special guest reviewer help us out on this one – our friend AMEDEO who was visiting from Italy!  We served him pasta with our homemade pesto (he loved the pesto!!  A rave review on our pesto from a real live Italian, that made me proud.)

An out of town (out of country!) visitor meant we got to sight see in our own city - I love that!
Here are David and Amedeo at the Lincoln Memorial.

But we are not here to review our pesto, we are here to review Trader Joe’s Chocolate Almond Butter Tarte!  Here is what David thought:  “This tarte is very good.  It is chocolate-y, but it is not too chocolate-y.  It is not like a chocolate bar.  It is between the softness of mousse and the moistness of pudding (EDITOR'S NOTE:  It is chocolate GANACHE, isn't that fancy schmancy??).  It has a bottom that I like (I like my tarts like I like my women, with a nice bottom!) (Editor’s note again: he’s here all week, folks!).  It is flavorful.  It has a hint of nuts on it.  it is good for the end of a meal and would be good with an espresso.  I would give this a 4.5.”

Doesn't it look SO PRETTY on the box?

Amedeo thought: “E molto buona dopo cena (it is very good after dinner). I think 4.5 is good.”

It is just as pretty in real life!

My take on it:  I think this is GOOD.  I was worried it might be a bit too chocolate-y for me after eating a big meal, but it is not too much chocolate.  It is a light rather than strong chocolate taste.  It’s a nice dessert and pairs well with a red wine.  I personally could use a little more NUT taste.  We all liked the texture – it is a bit of a double texture when considering the chocolate part and the crust.  That’s nice!

Delicious!  

The box says there are 4 servings, but we all agreed that the servings would be too big to cut it into 4.  6 servings seems more reasonable.  Because we did not eat it all for dinner, we had some leftovers the next morning for breakfast and reviewed it again.  I preferred it for DINNER because it was so good with red wine.  I do not oppose eating it for breakfast, but I liked it better at night.  Amedeo agreed that it tasted better for dinner, the mousse part was not as good in the morning after being refrigerated overnight.  David thought it was delicious for breakfast and loved pairing it with coffee, so he votes to eat it for breakfast!!

We all agreed that whenever you eat it, eat it in one sitting for the best taste.  This one is a treat worth getting – try it!  The signage at our local Trader Joe's said it was a new product, so pick one up next time you are shopping. I think the boys got the rating spot on so I will agree with them – it gets a 4.5 from me, too.

This is very reasonably priced.  Recommended!

Price: $5.99

Rating: 4.5 (from all 3 reviewers)

Bonus photo - David and Amedeo with the Washington Monument behind them :)