Fruit Fancies

If you are new to Trader Joe’s, you may not know about HOLIDAY PRODUCTS.  Oh, November and December are magical months at Trader Joe’s!!  Products appear on the shelves that you have never seen before (or at least haven’t seen since last holiday season)!!  The die hards (like me) rush to Trader Joe’s as soon as word gets out that the holiday items are trickling in.  And each trip to the grocery store turns into an exciting journey – what will I find this time?  What will be new?  What special treat will make its way into my cart???

It was in that holiday haze that the FRUIT FANCIES made their way into our lives. 

Aren't they pretty?  And don't they look FANCY?  I mean, the word FANCY is right there in the NAME!

Do you think the sign maker at the Fairfax Virginia store had tasted these and KNEW they were not fancy, thus made them this pretty non-fancy sign?  That's my theory.  It was a SIGN...  A sign I should have paid attention to...

What can I say, I was smitten???  They looked good to me for some reason…  Sure, they seemed sort of like “Grandma and Grandpa” treats.  Or like little rolled up turds covered in sesame seeds and coconut.  But the BOX – oh man – the BOX they came in was lovely!  It had dovetailed corners!  The box is what sold me.  That, and the fact that we were heading to Omaha to celebrate the holidays, and we would be staying with my dad and his wife, who are not only Grandparents, they are Great-Grandparents!  So even if this treat was “Grandparent food”, we would be sharing it with actual grandparents, so all would be good!

I asked my dad to make a funny face.  He did.  I love it.  

Only, we never got around to eating them in Omaha…  So, they came back, unopened, then made their way to Florida!  “We will bring them next door and share them with the neighbors,” I reasoned.  Only, you see where this is going, we didn’t do that either.

Christmas Day 2017 - too busy to be bothered by Fruit Fancies...

So, before you know it, it was the last day of January and the Fruit Fancies were still unopened.  But after we ate dinner while watching “Amazing Race” (go team Brainiacs!) , David ripped into these special treat, and, well, they ended up being not so special after all…   Oh, and before you say, “Susan, of course they tasted like %&*#, they were a HOLIDAY ITEM and you let them sit until almost February!  They were too old!” – N-O.  They didn’t expire until 11/18. 

OK, here is what we thought of them:

David:  “Well, these are different.  They are like Fig Newtons that have even less moisture in them, and perhaps a little extra fiber.  They are dry.  The mouth feel is not a joy ride for me.  These things suck the moisture right out of your mouth!  I give them a 1.  The reason I am not giving them a 0 is that they do not taste bad, they just do not taste good.  The box is alright, but it is a little skinny to use for anything else.  I have to respect the dovetail jointing.”

David didn't fancy these, did fancy them at all.  

Susan:  I am just gonna say it – I was duped by the wooden, dovetailed box.  They punked me!  I think the term for this type of duped is “The Hickory Farm Effect”.  You know how Hickory Farms always had (is it has – does PF still exist in the MALL SETTING where they had special displays of meat and cheese for the holidays?) really attractive PACKAGING?  Like, “Put it in a basket, then the dyed orange cheese with pimentos and nuts will sell!!”.  Yeah – Trader Joe’s Hickory Farmed me with this one! 

The treats looked very pretty in the packaging.  Each one was topped with a whole nut on top – some with almonds and some with walnuts.  The things that “encrusted” each piece – sesame seeds or coconut – looked lovingly applied.  Each piece looked like a fancy, Mediterranean delight.  To my EYES, they looked like they would taste a bit exotic, sweet, a bit juicy, perhaps fig-like, and yummy.

But EYES are not what actually TASTE things… 

These are a product from Turkey.  But they are not “from Turkey” in a sexy, romantic, exotic kind of way.  They are not good.  I ate 2 – one of each variety.  I thought David ate ONE, but later learned he could only stomach ¼ of 1 and threw out the rest (that man never throws out a sweet!!). 

The NUT on top of each piece was nice, but there was only one nut per piece.  I guess a person could just pop the nut off the top of each one and eat only that, but it would be easier and cheaper just to head over to the TJ’s nut aisle and get yourself a whole bag of nuts.  I will give this product a 1.5 (the majority of the score is for the cool box and the nuts on top).

Sorry Trader Joe's, we don't really want these anymore....

Let this be a lesson to me (and to you): not ALL Trader Joe’s holiday products are lovely.  Even the pretty ones are sometimes duds.  Luckily, Trader Joe’s happily accepts any returns, so we took this back.  Our cashier saw the return and said, “Oh yeah, I didn’t like those things either…” 😊 . 

You can’t get this product at Trader Joe’s right now since it was seasonal, but if it does come back next year, I suggest you pass.  Grab some of the other delightful items, and leave them for some other sucker to get Hickory Farmed.

Price:  $5.99 

Rating:  1.25

Ghost Pepper Potato Chips (Lattice Cut Kettle Cooked)

The Ghost Pepper Potato Chip package says:

“If spicy flavors bring you joy,

More than any game or toy,

Then try these chips with loads of heat

find crunch that simply can’t be beat. 

We’ve used a chili called the ghost,

providing heat which we can boast

Is hotter ‘n jalapeno or habanero. 

And so we issue you a dare-o

To grab a bag and take a bite

Of chips packed full of ghostly fright.”

I mean - GET OUT…  Any product that has a great poem on the bag is off to a good start, no???  We tried this at the Fairfax, Virginia Trader Joe’s when they were sampling them and can I just say:  TRADER JOE’S FOR THE WIN!

After sampling, David is obviously happy to be snagging a bag of these chips!

This is an excellent new product.  I was a bit nervous about tasting them because the sample lady warned us that “These are the hottest peppers eveeeer.  They are hotter than JALAPENOS!”.  In my opinion, they are not super spicy.  I mean, they have a kick to them, they are hot, but they are not TOO spicy.  Normally when I eat spicy things I do not want to pair them with anything else because the spicy flavor “ruins” the taste of what you are pairing it with.  But for these chips we paired them with Trader Joe’s Onion Dip (to be reviewed at a later time) and the two worked really well together. 

These chips are GREAT to eat on their own and super to eat with a dip!  I have never eaten “lattice cut chips” (that I can recall) but they are a good invention!  They make grabbing and holding onto dip easy – you don’t get any of that “dip slide off” that you sometimes get with other chips.  These chips also do not bust when you plunge them in the dip, no chip bits plop off and mess up your dip.

These chips really "grip your dip" (that's a good thing)

Here is what David thought of this product: “I agree with a lot of what Susan said.  The taste is good.  These fill a niche for people who would like more taste with their potato chips – they are very nice!  The taste is light enough to not be overpowering, like some kinds of BBQ powder poured on chips.  They really go lovely with TJ’s Onion Dip.  The lattice cut thing is good, too.  They are great for dipping – they don’t SNAP OFF like regular potato chips."

Reasonably priced - not only do you get CHIPS, you get a POEM!

David continued, "The only thing is – I got ONE that was a “pile-on” of about 6 chips melded together.  That is a minor inconvenience, because they are so tasty, but it would be nice if their processing of making these allowed them all to dry separately so they were individual in the bag.  I would give these a 4.75.”

Susan here again with one more thing – these DO make your fingers a tiny bit dirty.  You might imagine they would make them RED (since they are “ghost pepper” and all) but they are not red.  And they do not coat you with a thick goo on your fingers like if you indulge in Cheetos.  Plus, the goo comes off if you LICK YOUR FINGERS.  J

David usually doesn’t like kettle chips, and he LIKES these!  So Trader Joe’s, I hope you don’t stop making these.  Don’t say these are just a summer product, ok?  These will taste yummy in the middle of winter, too.

Bonus photo - READ THE SIGNS David...

I agree with David – these chips are a 4.75.  GET SOME!

Price – $2.29 (well worth the price)

Rating – 4.75

Mango Tangerine Scented Candle

As you know if you read the post before this one, we just went to India.  It was our first visit there and I spent the whole time with eyes wide open in amazement at all there was to see, smell, taste, and do. 

And while we were there – IT WAS MANGO SEASON!  And when it is mango season in India – It.  Is.  Mango.  Season!!!  There are loads of different varieties of mangos there, and they are insanely delicious and juicy!! 

Mangos at Crawford Market in Mumbai, India

Anyway, we are now back in the US.  And of course, one of the first places we went upon our arrival was TRADER JOE’S.  I mean, one has to get fresh half and half for coffee, right???  But after we unpacked, did laundry, and caught up on a bit of sleep, we went back to TJ’s to see what was new and stock up on some fresh veggies, etc.

Guess what?  IT IS MANGO SEASON AT TRADER JOE’S, too!  I mean, boy HOWDY is it mango season!  The first thing we saw when we walked in the door of the Fairfax, Virginia TJ’s this sunny Saturday afternoon was a display of some new mango coconut popcorn (which of coooourse we bought but haven’t tried yet, review to come…).  Oh man, TJ’s has gone NUTS!!!  There is mango EVVVVERTYHING – mango WAFFLES, mango SHAVING CREAM, mango mini pies (we got those!), mango cereal (got it!), mango ice cream, mango mochi, mango margarita mix, mango, mango, MAAAAANGO!  Let’s just say, in Trader Joe’s terms, JUNE is to MANGO as OCTOBER is to PUMPKIN.  If you have ever stepped foot in a TJ’s in the autumn season you will know exactly what I mean.  They’ve gone a wee bit overboard in the mango department (one worker told us there were gonna be, like, 50 mango items in the Fearless Flyer….)

So this is my first of several MANGO product reviews!  Drum roll please….  May I present the MANGO TANGERINE SCENTED CANDLE!

Candle in a metal tin

This candle comes in a metal tin.  I like to buy metal tin candles in small sizes to throw in my toiletries bag when I travel.  They are great for helping out musty smelling hotel rooms.  This candle is 5.7 oz though, so is too big to be called a travel candle.  But I grabbed one anyway.  In fact, let’s not lie, I grabbed 3.  1 is for me and 2 are for gifts!

Had to take a little sniff in the store to make sure it smelled good...

Then I came right home and lit mine.  I mean, I needed to make sure it is a nice candle before GIFTING it, right???  Turns out, it is!  The scent is nice – strong without being too strong and not overly in your face mango.  It is a nice balance of the mango and tangerine – it smells fruity and summer-ish. 

Ahhhh, mango and tangerine scent filling up our house

The label tells me the wax is a natural coconut-soy blend and the wick is lead free cotton (which is not something I am concerned about, but if YOU are there ya have it, this is a fancy wick). 

So it is a nice scent, natural wax, metal tin, and fancy wick, all at only $3.99!!  That is a really reasonable price for a good candle if you ask me.

This is a good candle at a really good price - go get yourself (and a friend!) one

I hate even listing the price here, and I hope that the people I am gifting these to don’t feel like I am a cheapskate…  But I want You guys, the readers who I am not gifting these to, to realize how cheap they are and go grab 1 (or 2!) now while it is “mango season”.  Cuz you know how it goes; just like pumpkin time, Trader Joe’s won’t keep these around forever. 

Price - $3.99

Rating – 4.5

Day 289 - Persimmon Salad

We were heading out to the thea-tuh (that is how fancy people say it) and stopped at Trader Joe’s in Fairfax, VA to get something for dinner on the way.  Sadly, we spent so much time wandering the aisles, tasting pumpkin soup and pumpkin beer and (non pumpkin) wine, that we pulled into the theatre parking lot with enough time to rush to our seats, not to EAT DINNER.  Therefore we did something the fancy people do NOT do – chowed down on a salad with a plastic fork during intermission.  But hey, that’s how we roll.  Deal. 

Oops - caught you eating dinner during intermission.  SO not fancy.

This salad was new to us.  Apparently Trader Joe’s had it last autumn and it was a big hit, so they juuuust brought it back!  I am glad they did, and you should be, too.  It is in the Fearless Flyer this month.

The Fearless Flyer is TJ's newsletter.  I don't really get into it much, which is why I am making this photo small.  :)

This salad is a very nice combination of stuff.  The front of the package boasts this contains butter lettuce, kale, roasted almonds, goat cheese, and a pomegranate dressing.  Of course, as the name suggests it also has PERSIMMONS, which, hello, who buys persimmons??  We do not, but maybe we should!!  They were good in this context for sure.

Even before OPENING this salad I thought it looked good.  I was right.

The nuts and pomegranate seeds come in little plastic sealed cups that you open and dump in.  This keeps them fresh and they do not get mushy, which is cool.  The majority of the salad is butter lettuce and kale.  We normally do not eat raw kale and this salad really made me want to do that more often.  The kale was great!  It tasted “healthy”, if healthy is a taste.    

I think there could be a bit more dressing.  It is a super tasty pomegranate sherry dressing and by the bottom of the salad I was wishing for more.  David agreed about needing a bit more dressing.

See - FEARLESS FLYER item 

David says, “The dressing is great!  The mix of kale and butter lettuce is a nice balance.  The nuts are nice.  And I think it is Roquefort cheese??  It’s nice!  The kale is good because it is the TENDER LEAVES and not so much stalk.  I give this salad a 4.”

I at first thought the cheese in question was FETA, then realized it was chevre (goat cheese).  Well done, Trader Joe’s, well done. 

This salad would be great for lunch.  I give it a 4.5, so will average the two ratings together for the final number. 

Wade through the aisles of pumpkin products and get to the refrigerated section to pick one of these salads up.  It is nice to have an autumn taste other than pumpkin.  (Not that there is anything wrong with pumpkin…)

Price – $3.99

Rating – 4.25

Day 166 - Marinated Celigene Mozzarella Cheese

We recently were at a NEW TO US Trader Joe’s (in Fairfax, VA, a very nice store!).  

Hey!  Fairfax, VA Trader Joe's!

While there we decided to pick up supplies to make a tasty summer appetizer that we had recently at a TJ’s in Florida – tiny tomatoes with mozzarella on them!  We already had balsamic at home (Trader Joe’s, of course, to be reviewed later in this blog), and we hoped the basil we planted would be big enough for us to cut a bit off to top the dish off.   This is the mozzarella we chose:

Marinated Celigene (or is it Ciliegine?) Mozzarella Cheese

Now, there have been two previous mozzarella cheeses reviewed in this blog – one was our our regular one “the chub” reviewed on day 17 (4 stars).  The other one was one that we tried for our big TJ’s dinner party, reviewed on day 125 (which I personally gave a total of 1.75 stars to, but because it was a dinner party review I had to factor in reviews of the other guests and begrudgingly use the average of all reviews which brought it up to a 3…).  Normally we serve mozzarella over TJ’s kumatoes (reviewed on day 5 – 4 stars), and in the summer we serve it over tomatoes we grown in the garden.  But this time our home grown tomatoes were not ready to be eaten yet, and the taste test we did in Florida using the cherry tomato variety was yummy, so we went with what we saw – Marzano Tomatoes (sorry to be so confusing – I will review those small tomatoes soon!).

In any event, this review is about the tiny mozzarella balls!  First off, my partner David is the one who prepared this dish and he reports the container was very, very hard to open.  The size of the balls is good – he is quite obsessive so he cut some in thirds and some in fourths, but I reckon if you wanted to you could simply cut them down the middle and call it a day.  The sign said the cheese is marinating in “salted water” but David swears, “There’s somethin’ oily going on…”.  (The label of the actual product lists canola and Extra Virgin Olive Oil…  Maybe the signage at TJ’s was wrong?  When I look at the photos now I see that the SIGN spelled the cheese Ciliegine and the package spells it Celigene…  Maybe the incorrect sign was placed above these containers but we did not see any other containers nearby?  Who knows…)

The taste is pretty good.  It is not as great as the chub mozzarella, but way better than the stinky day 125 mozzarella.  The biggest problem by FAR with this dish was the inability of the teeny tiny tomatoes and mozzarella to hold enough balsamic vinegar!  There just was not enough surface area.

Isn't it PRETTY?  Turns out we did have enough basil, yippee!!

This cheese is not bad, but the convenience of having the tiny portions does not beat the tastiness of the chub cheese.

Price - $3.49

Rating – 3.5