Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Day 266 - Tuscan Pane Bread

WHYYYYY don’t I listen to my gut and just STOP.  BUYING.  BREAD.  AT.  TRADER.  JOE’S.

We have not found a loaf we like.  We have tried a few (some prior to beginning this blog project so they have not been reviewed here) and have not been satisfied with any of them.  I really like the British Crumpets that they sell, and we were surprised how good the Bagel Spinozas were.  Those are both BREAD PRODUCTS, but  not loaves of bread.  All of the loaves of bread we have bought at Trader Joe’s have been bad (in my humble opinion).

So recently I reviewed one of the yucky ones, Whole Wheat Bread, and an avid reader and one of the few people who takes time to comment on this blog, the lovely TTrockwood, commented and recommended that we try Tuscan Pane bread.  Well TTrockwood, we took your advice.  We bought it.  We tried it.  Bleck!  J  (I am not blaming you!  We have free will here, haha! )

WHO is buying this stuff?  :)
Check it out – the sign above Tuscan Pane says that this bread is the BEST SELLER.  I am not sure if that is nationwide over-all best seller or that store.  But if it is just the best seller for that store all I can say is oh man, either TTrockwood lives near us and is going to the same TJ’s as us and buying tons of this crap, or other people like it better than we do. 

David's slice - see how there is not much honey?
That is cuz it all OOZED THROUGH THE BIG CRACKS and is hiding under the bread in this photo.  
I made David a slice of this bread with nice butter and Turkish Honey (which rocks).  Here is what he thought of it – “Good taste.  Nice texture.  It has a hard crust, so if you are looking for a bread with no crust this is not your baby.  But it does have good taste and, at least the first day, is not too hard.  It does have huge crater-like holes in it and the honey (and everything else you put on it) falls through.”

Looks ok on the shelf
Here is what the package looks like
As for me, sadly, this still is not my favorite breads in the world.  It is VERY DRY.  It needed a ton of butter.  I think the HONEY on David’s made his a little more moist (and a lot more delicious).  Mine had butter with cheddar cheese. We also have had 2 sandwiches made with it and that made a big mess, because by the second sandwich I refused to eat most of the bread so I got mayo and tomato juice all over…

A TJ’s employee told us that they didn’t understand why this bread sells so well and recommended yet ANOTHER different loaf.  However, I am now scared of all Trader Joe’s breads…  Not, like, “Monster under the bed” scared, but “Oh man is this gonna be gross??” scared.  Know what I mean?

Here is mine - cheddar cheese on top.  The cheese and the pomegranate seeds in the green bowl were the best part!
Maybe TJ’s breads are healthier than the breads I enjoy and have, like, zero preservatives or something, I do not know.  But if I could use a sports metaphor here (which I never do cuz I am not into sports) – this bread was not a home run for me. 

David thinks the reason this bread is the best seller is because people like to picture themselves sitting in a café in Italy eating fancy bread.  That makes no sense to me, cuz if I was in an Italian café and they served me THIS BREAD I would gag.  Well, who orders BREAD in an Italian café anyway, David?

This is a HARD, DRY BREAD.  I like the crusts better than the actual bread.  The crust I expect to be hard, but the bread needs to have at least a smidgeon of “give” to it. 

The first day was really the only day this loaf was edible to me.  And even then it wasn’t great.

Price – $2.49

Rating – 2.75 (note – David rated it a 3, but I am overruling his on this one and rating it myself to save you the heartbreak of buying it)


  1. By happy coincidence, my review of this same product will be published tomorrow morning. (I had it a few months ago, but I have this ginormous 5-month backlog of posts, so unless I push something to the front of the line, there's a long delay between eating/writing and publishing.) Given your experience with stuff falling through the holes in the bread, I think you'll find one of my photos amusing. Stay tuned.

    1. HAHAHAHA! That made me laugh. I am picturing mayo on the front of your shirt. Can't wait to read it. :)

    2. Your review this morning made me LAUGH, Rakewell. The HOLE in the bread was insane! Here is his review for others to read:

  2. I agree about the "artisan" breads - not good, crusts way too tough. Where and when are baked? They don't taste fresh. I've settled on the sliced sourdough wheat bread as the least offensive.

    Yes, Turkish Honey is the best. I'm hoping you get around to my two favorites - the cheese blintzes and potato pancakes.

    1. Oh I love the potato pancakes, too!!! My nephew and his partner served them once when we were visiting. I thought they had spent all afternoon prepping and cooking for us - nope! TJ's frozen, baby! I need to get those and review them - thanks for the reminder.

  3. Haha! Oh no!!! Well, i've heard that TJs bakery products and breads are made regionally so maybe it's produced by someone better for nyc...??
    Full disclosure I basically always use it for toast with either avocado or peanut butter.
    Oh well, it made for a funny review :))

    1. Avocado on toast is amazing. Only, not THIS toast. :) I will have it on "my style" toast (which more than likely will come from a different store than TJ's...).

  4. It is probably because there are no artificial preservatives in the bread. We buy the organic seeded bread at TJ's. It states on the bread that you must refrigerate it as soon as you get home.

    It's pretty funny to realize how much the bread we normally eat can change our taste buds. My husband and I switched to organic bread a few years ago and I can no longer eat "regular" grocery store bread. Sadly, I can no longer eat the Five Guys veggie sandwich because the bread tastes horrible to me! The only place we can really eat out now is Chipotle. On the other hand, we had a relative visit at the holidays and she didn't like any of the food in our house because it tasted weird to her.

    Last week, my dentist recommended a new toothpaste to me that helps your enamel as you age. I had a migraine for three days before I realized that this toothpaste has artificial sweeteners in it.

    1. Yes, I bet you are right that it is the lack of preservatives that make the bread taste "off" to me. That is a sad commentary on my diet I guess. Sigh.
      Sorry to hear about the toothpaste induced migraine. That sounds horrible. You have to take care of your TEETH, but does it have to be at the expense of your HEAD? Hope you found a better alternative.

  5. It's the European style super thin sliced, dense type rather than the types of loaves you've been trying, but the dark little 100% rye is worth a try as a variation. Not so much for sandwiches, but nice toasted with melted cheese. It lasts really well too. I've never encountered a regular loaf worth a second buy, tho the 99 cent pretzel stick is good with havarti.

    1. I don't like rye bread, but David does... Perhaps we should try that one for his sake. :)

  6. Love reading your reviews. This is one of my favorite TJ's breads, but I usually prepare it by toasting it, cutting it in half and serving it with TJ's brushetta on top or their olive tapendad . We usually have it as a snack or appetizer. Keep the reviews coming! They are enjoyable to rea .

  7. Love reading your reviews. This is one of my favorite TJ's breads, but I usually prepare it by toasting it, cutting it in half and serving it with TJ's brushetta on top or their olive tapendad . We usually have it as a snack or appetizer. Keep the reviews coming! They are enjoyable to rea .