Chocolate Almond Butter Tarte (the "e" on the end makes it fancy!)

We had a very special guest reviewer help us out on this one – our friend AMEDEO who was visiting from Italy!  We served him pasta with our homemade pesto (he loved the pesto!!  A rave review on our pesto from a real live Italian, that made me proud.)

An out of town (out of country!) visitor meant we got to sight see in our own city - I love that!
Here are David and Amedeo at the Lincoln Memorial.

But we are not here to review our pesto, we are here to review Trader Joe’s Chocolate Almond Butter Tarte!  Here is what David thought:  “This tarte is very good.  It is chocolate-y, but it is not too chocolate-y.  It is not like a chocolate bar.  It is between the softness of mousse and the moistness of pudding (EDITOR'S NOTE:  It is chocolate GANACHE, isn't that fancy schmancy??).  It has a bottom that I like (I like my tarts like I like my women, with a nice bottom!) (Editor’s note again: he’s here all week, folks!).  It is flavorful.  It has a hint of nuts on it.  it is good for the end of a meal and would be good with an espresso.  I would give this a 4.5.”

Doesn't it look SO PRETTY on the box?

Amedeo thought: “E molto buona dopo cena (it is very good after dinner). I think 4.5 is good.”

It is just as pretty in real life!

My take on it:  I think this is GOOD.  I was worried it might be a bit too chocolate-y for me after eating a big meal, but it is not too much chocolate.  It is a light rather than strong chocolate taste.  It’s a nice dessert and pairs well with a red wine.  I personally could use a little more NUT taste.  We all liked the texture – it is a bit of a double texture when considering the chocolate part and the crust.  That’s nice!

Delicious!  

The box says there are 4 servings, but we all agreed that the servings would be too big to cut it into 4.  6 servings seems more reasonable.  Because we did not eat it all for dinner, we had some leftovers the next morning for breakfast and reviewed it again.  I preferred it for DINNER because it was so good with red wine.  I do not oppose eating it for breakfast, but I liked it better at night.  Amedeo agreed that it tasted better for dinner, the mousse part was not as good in the morning after being refrigerated overnight.  David thought it was delicious for breakfast and loved pairing it with coffee, so he votes to eat it for breakfast!!

We all agreed that whenever you eat it, eat it in one sitting for the best taste.  This one is a treat worth getting – try it!  The signage at our local Trader Joe's said it was a new product, so pick one up next time you are shopping. I think the boys got the rating spot on so I will agree with them – it gets a 4.5 from me, too.

This is very reasonably priced.  Recommended!

Price: $5.99

Rating: 4.5 (from all 3 reviewers)

Bonus photo - David and Amedeo with the Washington Monument behind them :)

French Vanilla Cold Brew

We drank this can of Trader Joe’s French Vanilla Cold Brew on our front porch on a nice, sunny day. 

Pretty can

Our neighborhood had been super noisy all day because they were resurfacing the street out front.  In fact, our house even SHOOK part of the day because the rolling machine also had a “vibrate” function to wiggle and jiggle the new blacktop I guess, and it also wiggled and jiggled our house.  But in the end the noise and the vibrations were worth it because we have now have a nice, smooth street.

A fresh, new street.  Ahhhh.

Anyway, back to the drink.  The 8 fl oz can says the cold brew is made of 100% Arabica coffee.  I bought it a couple of months ago and it got lost in our fridge, but the best buy date is October 8, 2017, so it was still “fresh” when we busted it out.  It was super cold, too, which was good!   I served it with a tasty carrot cake with walnuts donut from our fancy local donut store, Sugar Shack (Sugar Shack website).

Afternoon snack in the sunshine

David’s take on the cold brew: “It is like a coffee flavored Yoo-Hoo drink.  (I, of course, was then curious and asked, “And do you LIKE Yoo-Hoo drinks??” to which he answered, “Not so much…”).   But this is not bad, though, if you like this sort of thing.  It’s not bad actually.  If you like a cold drink, and you want to have coffee, or you wanna have a lot of caffeine going into ya, it’s not bad.  I will give it a 3.5, cuz it does its’ thing quite well and when it is cold it is quite nice.”

David was leery when we bought it...

But liked it better when he drank some

Susan:  Cold brew coffee is trendy, so maybe David and I are just not trendy enough for this stuff…  (Although the day we drank this David did wear a trendy shirt that says, “National Sarcasm Society – Like We NEED Your Support”.)  As far as the coffee, I guess it was good, but it didn’t really taste all that much!  I would like it better if it had a little more coffee punch to it.  I am by no means a cold brew expert – is it always a bit weaker than regular coffee?  I thought it would be the opposite, so my taste buds were surprised.  (David said it like SUN TEA compared to tea made from boiling water, soaking tea bags, then cooling it.)

We usually each just drink one cup of coffee with breakfast each day, but the day we drank this we needed an afternoon pick-me-up.  David had worked hard teaching all day and we were going to a play, so we thought this coffee would help keep us awake.  David also drank some Pepsi with the donut, thus ensuring he had sufficient caffeine to stay wiiiide awake for the show. 

See, if you hold the can the right way you can show passersby how hip you are!

I guess if you are hip and trendy, and if you like to drink cold brew, and if you want people to KNOW you are drinking cold brew, you can HOLD THIS CAN proudly and everyone will know what you are drinking.   Neither of us feel well versed enough in the “art” of cold brew to really rate this product accurately, so I am gonna cheat and just copy David’s score of 3.5.

New Item (well, new a few months ago when we bought it...)

Price – $1.79

Rating – 3.5

Bonus photo for people who look all the way down here to the bottom - us on a night out on the town!
 (Walking to the theatre we happened on this pretty fountain)

Crappy Reviews - A Look Back At Some TRADER JOE'S PRODUCT CLUNKERS

I recently worked with an interpreter I had never met before, and we hit it off.  We seemed to have the same philosophies toward our work and laughed at the same stuff, so we became Facebook friends.  Today he noticed a Trader Joe’s review I had posted on my personal FB page and commented on it, so I told him about the Trader Joe’s 365 Facebook page and the tons of reviews I have written.  He started reading, found the review on English Butter Fudge and seemed incredulous that we thought a FUDGE was too sweet.  😊   That got me thinking – I should look though the blog and find some of the products that we gave BAD REVIEWS to and lump them together.  Sort of like a “Worst Of” list!!  So I am going to pick out 10 products that we gave clunker reviews to and list them here.  Here we go (in no particular order):

·         We should start off with ENGLISH BUTTER FUDGE, the review that made me start thinking about what we consider Trader Joe’s clunkers.  We gave it 1.5 stars and said it was tooooo sugary (which is saying something coming from David).  Review here: English Butter Fudge Review

Care for some English Butter Fudge anyone??

•  Next up is PUMPKIN BODY BUTTER. It scored a 2 star review, but that “high score” was really for the cool packaging it used to have (they may have changed it by now) and NOT for the body butter.  It is a seasonal product that comes out in the fall, so you can’t get it now even if you want to (and WHY would you WANT to???), but this review will serve as a warning to you for when it hits the shelves this year:  Pumpkin Body Butter Review

I will skip this when it returns this autumn

·         Clunker product number three is MANGO COCONUT FLAVORED CARAMEL CORN.  It, too, is seasonal, but the summer mango craze may hit the Trader Joe’s shelves soon and this may re-appear!  If you like eating suntan lotion, by all means buy this popcorn, cuz that is what it tastes like.  2.25 star review here:  Mango Coconut Flavored Caramel Corn Review

The "before" photo - when Mango Coconut Flavored Caramel Corn sounded AMAZING.

·         This wine, a local Ohio wine purchased at Trader Joe’s on a road trip, may well be the only wine we have ever poured down a sink drain…  NASO ROSSO LAURELLO VINEYARDS RED WINE (aka Scary Clown wine) tasted (to us) like a mix of cough syrup, Kool-Aid, and sugar.  It got a .25 star rating – yes, less than half a star.  Review here:  Scary Clown Wine Review

Wine, down the drain, sad, sad, sad

·         I am not sure if Trader Joe’s still carries MOLTEN SALTED BUTTERSCOTCH MACARONS, but if they do, you should know that we gave them a 1.5 star rating and one of the guest reviewers said they tasted like throw up…  Review here:  Molten Salted Butterscotch Macarons Review

Here David was EXCITED about this treat.  This is before he TASTED them.

·         I swear we don’t normally say stuff tastes like cough syrup, but here is another product where we did – the 1.75 star CHERRY CIDER.  Yuck.  Review here: Cherry Cider Review

A bit of cough syrup, errr, I mean cherry cider with breakfast 

·         Trader Joe’s BLACK BEAN ROTINI is a product that received ZERO STARS in our review, not even a teeny tiny fraction of a star!!  And one blog reader (named anonymous :) ) left this comment that cracked me up about it, “My husband can eat anything that even pretends to be pasta.  He spit this out.  Also glad we didn’t waste good sauce on this crap.”  Black Bean Rotini Review

This photo captures the essence of Black Bean Rotini

·         HEAD TO TOE MOISTURIZING BALM, what can I say…  I wrote the original review of it on March 30, 2015, and over 2 years later I am STILL trying to get through the same tiny tin of this greasy crap.  1.5 stars, and one of the most often read reviews on the blog for some reason.  Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm Review

Here I am with greasy crap on my hair

·         We didn’t dig Trader Joe’s COCONUT WATER.  In fact, we thought it was gross…  But hey, this one might just be us.  Still, the review has some funny photos and the water only got .75 stars…  Review here:  Coconut Water Review

·         And the last stinky review for this go-round is FROZEN BRUSSELS SPROUTS.  We love, love, love fresh Brussels Sprouts so thought these would be a no-brainer.  We were oh so wrong…  Frozen Brussels Sprouts Review

These things were disgusting

There you have it.  Those are 10 products that won’t be put in our Trader Joe’s carts again. 

Three things, though.  First, know that we really LIKE most of the stuff at Trader Joe’s!!  Don’t let this rundown of product fails (for us) make you think that we hate Trader Joe’s!  On the contrary – we shop there multiple times every week and eat TONS of food from there!

And secondly - if there is ever a product at Trader Joe’s that you want to try in the store, YOU CAN!!  Just ask any associate if you can try whatever (except beer or wine).  They will open it for you on the spot and let you sample it, no kidding!!!  And they don’t even make you feel weird for asking – it is part of their normal operations to let customers sample!

And lastly, if you ever buy something at Trader Joe’s, get it home, try it, and don’t like it, TAKE IT BACK.  They are the best store about returns!!  We don’t often run into things we need to return but when we do I am not hesitant to bring stuff back.  They have big signs in all of their locations explaining their awesome return policy – buy it, try it, don’t like it, return it!!  Just bring it back to the store, take it to customer service when you get there, and let them know you are returning.  Then shop and get whatever you want, and when you check out tell the cashier you have a return at customer service.  The cashier will ring the bell at their station and get the info on your return and VOILA, no mess no fuss your product fail is returned! 

Happy shopping 😊 . 

Kung Fu Girl Riesling

I have been tempted by this wine, Kung Fu Girl Riesling, before, solely because of the totally kick-ass name and label.  I mean, what woman WOULDN’T want to drink some KUNG FU GIRL RIESLING, right??  But at $9.99, it was a bit more expensive than some other tried and tested wines at TJ's, and I had just never thrown a bottle in my cart.

Until they taste tested it one night while I was shopping…

See, this guy was handing out samples!  Thanks Trader Joe's!

Yes, once again, the Trader Joe’s wine taste testing resulted in a sale (DO YOU HEAR ME BAILEY’S CROSSROADS, VIRGINIA TJ’S??  IT WORKS WHEN YOU STAND THERE AND POUR COMMUNION CUPS OF WINE TO HAND OUT.  DO IT MORE OFTEN LIKE YOU USED TO! )  (Actually, they have leased what used to be the music store space right next door and are renovating it to be a wine/beer area, so maaaaaybe they will be awesome like the NYC Trader Joe’s Wine Shop and have tastings every day!!  Oh please, oh please, oh please…)

But I digress…  I mean, I personally do not do kung fu, but this wine has such a kick ass, strong woman name that it was hard to resist!! 

Here it is, sideways in my cart.  I swear I had only drunk a little tiny cup to taste it,
so I am not sure why I took a sideways photo.

Normally Riesling is not my “go to” wine, but this 2015 from Washington State was GOOD!  It was very nice.  It was smooth and not too sweet.  I drank it with a rice, leek, chicken, green pepper, and snow pea stir fry and it was a very tasty compliment to the dinner. 

This sign says "new" but I think that might be a fib.  Sometimes TJ's says writes new
but they should write "new", cuz actually they have carried the product a while...

I recently heard a great story on the NPR show Freakonomics about drinking cheap wine.  They did blind taste tests with “wine snobs” – like, people who really KNEW about wine.  Well lo and behold, they often could not tell the difference between cheap wine and fancy pants wine.  (link to awesome Freakonomics story here - you should listen to it)  Maybe YOU think you can tell the difference, and maybe you CAN, but I think that most people cannot.  So, if you want a GIRL POWER wine for your girl get together (your girlfriend dinner or your book club perhaps!) – HAVE A BOTTLE OF KUNG FU RIESLING out.  It is a “Nevertheless, She Persisted” wine. 

This wine tastes good.  It is not crappy.  So how is that for an endorsement?

Me, doing my best kung fu in our kitchen

I am reviewing this product by myself.  Oh sure, David had some, but I don’t really even care what he thought about it!  Because, you see, this wine is about STRONG WOMEN.  So, all of you strong women out there – BUY IT, DRINK IT, SUPPORT IT!  (And yes, I realize that it may well be made by a bunch of dudes in Washington, but don’t burst my bubble right now, ok?)  Get it!

Kung Fu Girl Riesling would have been the wine they served at the Women’s March in Washington DC (had they served wine).  The bottles could have worn little tiny pink pussy hats, and all of the marchers would have loved it.  Missed opportunity 😊 .  

My hat, our posters, and the capitol in the background!!
Thanks for knitting the hat, Karen Hoyer!

Here is a bonus clip - short video of the crowd at the Women's March in Washington DC on January 21, 2017.  And yes, I realize the pink hats are controversial.  But you can still enjoy the video anyway - there are some great posters!

Price - $9.99
Rating – 4.5