WHITE HOUSE - Rush to TJ's NOW!

I don't normally post photos or talk about a product until after we have tried it and reviewed it, but guys, I've gotta share!! 

LOOK WHAT I JUST SCORED!!! It is a WHITE HOUSE COOKIE KIT to decorate for the 4th of July!!!!! Color me psyched! 

It was either $6.99 or $7.99, I got so excited I forgot the price.  But it was even CHEAPER cuz I returned my half eaten bag of gross black bean pasta!  

I know my Lil Barack fingerpuppet is gonna love this cookie White House! If you want one hurry to get it, they are probably in super limited supply!!! Keep your eye on this blog for a review (after Independence Day, of course...)

Black Bean Rotini

This is a new Trader Joe’s product.  I found it on an end cap (you know, those shelves on the end of an aisle that retailers use to get your attention to sell you stuff).  I need to pause here to say this:  I do NOT read other online reviews of Trader Joe’s products before we try them. I do not want our opinions to be in any way influenced by what other people think of products.  However, you can bet your sweet bippy that as soon as I finished writing this review I am gonna check and see what other people thought about Trader Joe’s Black Bean Crap-ini – errr, I mean Rotini!!  But before I can begin my review, let me just say this:  if anyone else gave this a GOOD review, they are either getting paid by Trader Joe’s or they are drunk.  This is a super shi**y product. 

See this?  Don't buy it.

This is a horrible product.

We bought this rotini at our Northern Virginia Trader Joe’s.  It seemed interesting!  We planned on making the recipe for the shrimp pasta dish on the back of the bag, but we didn’t have time to make it at home, so we brought the crap-ini with us to Florida.  Last night we followed the recipe on the back of the bag, but we had to improvise a bit since there is not a Trader Joe’s near us here.  Instead of using TJ’s “Mushroom Medley” or “Roasted Peppers and Onions”, we used fresh mushrooms, peppers, and onions.  We didn’t have a jar of TJ’s Alfredo Sauce with us (which got a great review in this blog here ) so we bought another brand of sauce.  And instead of using TJ’s frozen shrimp, we went to a special fish store (Hull’s in Ormond Beach, FL, which rocks!) and bought fresh local shrimp.  Yes, we put a lot of heart into this meal…

The part we made – the veggies, sauce, and shrimp – was really good.

The pasta part – the Black Bean Rotini – was DISGUSTING.

Even David didn't like it.

Luckily we TASTED it before we poured our delectable sauce over it!  I would have been steaming mad if that excuse for a pasta had ruined the tasty sauce we made!!  I almost barfed when I tasted it, then we literally THREW IT AWAY.  We had made half a package and we pitched all of it into the garbage can.  We do NOT throw food away – there are too many people who go to bed hungry, and we do not have money to waste.  But that stuff was too gross to eat…  I taped up the other half of the bag and put it in our stuff to bring back home with us so that we can return it to Trader Joe’s.  And you can bet I will give them a link to this review when we return it so they can see exactly what we thought of it. 

I call it “Black Sh*t Rotini” instead of Black Bean Rotini.   We ended up eating our lovely shrimp sauce over leftover, reheated rice, and that was way better than the crapini!! 

The Black Bean Crapini was interesting LOOKING, but that is the only positive thing I can say about it.  It is a horrible texture in your mouth and the taste of it is soooo bad!!!  I mean, I like me some black beans, and I love me some pasta, but THIS, this ain’t either of those things!!  I give this product a big, fat ZERO (and I think only 2 other things have gotten a zero in this blog – the super disgusting Pumpkin Scones ( reviewed here ) and the undrinkable Cranberry Juice ( gross juice reviewed here ).  Heck, even that yucky Coconut Water got a .75, the Cherry Cider that tasted like drinking cough syrup got a 1.75 ( coconut water review here ), and the most ever read review on this blog, the “Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm” eeked out a 1.5 ( read this review before you invest in this head to toe crap ) !!

This coconut water was pretty rank, but it was still better than Black Bean Rotini...  Review here

Here is what David thought of it:  “I would have to concur with what Susan said.  It is BAD.  I mean, not as bad as rancid meat or fish, but the consistency is PASTY…  And then it is nothing like a PASTA…  There was nothing appealing at all in the taste.  I am a guy who rarely throws stuff out, but I didn’t want to eat it at all.  I would rather just find something else to eat, which is what we did.

Maybe, if you are a, you know, some sort of a vegan-loving straight-up masochistic vegetarian who likes things that taste bad, then this Black Bean Rotini will be appealing!!    I mean, I love me some bean thread noodles!  You can make noodles out of beans that are tasty…  But this???  Oh my God…

But this is a win!  This is a good news story.  TJ’s rotating stock encouraged us to try something NEW, which we did, and even though we didn’t like it, we are going to be able to take it back, give them our feedback, and get our money back.  That’s why we love Trader Joe’s!  I would have to give it a zero, too.”

We will take our money back for this one please.

Well, it looks like this is one that David and I agree on -- it is one of the worst Trader Joe’s products that we have tasted.  We very rarely use Trader Joe’s liberal return policy, but if annnnything deserves your money back, it is this bag of crap.  Seriously, if you have not figured it out yet from the rest of this review, this black bean pasta is horrible.  #NewProductFAIL. 

No, we did not overcook it.  But it was not a winner in our book.
Sorry for the crude photo, but this product angered me a bit.  :) 

Price – $2.99

Rating - 0

Famille Perrin Cotes du Rhone Reserve

So, we have something to CELEBRATE!!!  I knew it was gonna happen when I went to bed last night.  I wanted to stay up for the excitement, but not having slept well the 2 nights before I just COULDN’T stay awake.  So when I rolled out of bed early this morning the first thing I did was check this Trader Joe’s blog – WE HIT 150,000 VIEWS!!! 

But then I got busy.  I worked all day and the time got away from me.  But I needed to CELEBRATE this milestone!  So I finished out the day with a trip to Ormond Beach with my sweetie.  We swam in the warm water.  We breathed in the fresh air.  And we JUMPED. 

150,000 views!!!  Now that is something to jump about!

And now, just a few hours after it officially hit the 150,000 mark, the blog is just shy of the 151,000 mark!  I am serious, something has been happening lately that is bringing in a lot of readers.  What’s the haps, people??  But don’t worry, I won’t celebrate tooooo often, only for the biggies (like 150,000!).

So as part of the pre-celebration last night, we opened a bottle of French wine.  The bottle was a 2015 (ahhh, a very good year for colonoscopies if I remember correctly…).  My wine ignorance is going to show here, but I always thought that Cotes du Rhone wines were RED.  This may be because there are a couple of Cotes du Rhones from Trader Joe’s that I like to drink that are red.  (Ugh!  Now that I look back on the blog I see I have not reviewed either of my “go to” Cotes du Rhone reds!!  What was I THINKING!!!  I know I have all of the documentation for the reviews.  Note to self:  get more organized…)

Anyway, we bought our first bottle of this WHITE Famille Perrin Cotes du Rhone Reserve about a week ago after we tasted it at our local Virginia Trader Joe’s and really enjoyed it.  So when we were stocking up on TJ’s wine to bring on a trip to Florida (no, we did not drink any on the 13 hour drive!), we grabbed a bottle of this, and boy am I happy we did!

Sort of a boring label, but not a boring taste

David’s take on it:  This is a very nice, well balanced wine for when you want a wine that has more character than a fruity one.  It has a nice, kind of WOOD character to it without the overbearingness of a chardonnay.  I don’t know where that comes from; it’s not too fruity, not too sweet, but it is PLEASANT.  And it is cool.   I think it is better served with something rather than on its own.  There is kind of a “tang” at the finish that makes you think, “Hmmm, it would be nice to have something to eat with this, like a piece of cheese…”.  I give this wine a 4.25.

My opinion:  We served this wine chilled.  Like I said before, I thought Cotes du Rhone were always red, so this surprised me.  I really, really like it.  It is a great summer wine that would pair with anything!  It doesn’t have an overpowering taste, so it would not overpower what you were eating.  We served it with a pizza that we made that had a red sauce.  (I am always proud for some reason when we make homemade pizza.  This time we bought a pre-rolled out dough – don’t judge…)  I think this wine would pair well with fish, pasta, salad, a tuna sandwich…  It would also be yummy to drink while just popping cashews in your mouth.

Would you like a glass??

I get a little bit of grapefruit taste, but as you know I am not a wine expert.  Who knows, there may not be a grapefruit note in the whole bottle!  But it is GOOD.  It is a great all-around white wine to have on hand for summer.  OH, it would be good with DESSERTS, too, since it is not too sweet.  I give this wine a 4.75.

David points out that, although we have nothing against a wine of color, we do like a good white.  J  And I agree, especially when it is hot outside, a nice, chilled white wine is what is called for.  So for now, while in Florida in June, I am all about the white (wine)! 

Grab a bottle of this Cotes du Rhone.  Try it!  It will be something different and, while it isn’t the cheapest wine on the shelf, it won’t bust the bank.  Plus, I think it’ll make you smile.  Go for it!  Interestingly, the pricing sign says it USED to be $9.99, but because Trader Joe’s costs to get it have gone down, they have lowered the price they charge to $8.99!  C’mon now, in this day and age, what other retailer is gonna do that???  Thanks Joe!

Thanks for the treasure, Joe!!

Price – $8.99

Rating (average of 2 reviewers) – 4.5

Mango Tangerine Scented Candle

As you know if you read the post before this one, we just went to India.  It was our first visit there and I spent the whole time with eyes wide open in amazement at all there was to see, smell, taste, and do. 

And while we were there – IT WAS MANGO SEASON!  And when it is mango season in India – It.  Is.  Mango.  Season!!!  There are loads of different varieties of mangos there, and they are insanely delicious and juicy!! 

Mangos at Crawford Market in Mumbai, India

Anyway, we are now back in the US.  And of course, one of the first places we went upon our arrival was TRADER JOE’S.  I mean, one has to get fresh half and half for coffee, right???  But after we unpacked, did laundry, and caught up on a bit of sleep, we went back to TJ’s to see what was new and stock up on some fresh veggies, etc.

Guess what?  IT IS MANGO SEASON AT TRADER JOE’S, too!  I mean, boy HOWDY is it mango season!  The first thing we saw when we walked in the door of the Fairfax, Virginia TJ’s this sunny Saturday afternoon was a display of some new mango coconut popcorn (which of coooourse we bought but haven’t tried yet, review to come…).  Oh man, TJ’s has gone NUTS!!!  There is mango EVVVVERTYHING – mango WAFFLES, mango SHAVING CREAM, mango mini pies (we got those!), mango cereal (got it!), mango ice cream, mango mochi, mango margarita mix, mango, mango, MAAAAANGO!  Let’s just say, in Trader Joe’s terms, JUNE is to MANGO as OCTOBER is to PUMPKIN.  If you have ever stepped foot in a TJ’s in the autumn season you will know exactly what I mean.  They’ve gone a wee bit overboard in the mango department (one worker told us there were gonna be, like, 50 mango items in the Fearless Flyer….)

So this is my first of several MANGO product reviews!  Drum roll please….  May I present the MANGO TANGERINE SCENTED CANDLE!

Candle in a metal tin

This candle comes in a metal tin.  I like to buy metal tin candles in small sizes to throw in my toiletries bag when I travel.  They are great for helping out musty smelling hotel rooms.  This candle is 5.7 oz though, so is too big to be called a travel candle.  But I grabbed one anyway.  In fact, let’s not lie, I grabbed 3.  1 is for me and 2 are for gifts!

Had to take a little sniff in the store to make sure it smelled good...

Then I came right home and lit mine.  I mean, I needed to make sure it is a nice candle before GIFTING it, right???  Turns out, it is!  The scent is nice – strong without being too strong and not overly in your face mango.  It is a nice balance of the mango and tangerine – it smells fruity and summer-ish. 

Ahhhh, mango and tangerine scent filling up our house

The label tells me the wax is a natural coconut-soy blend and the wick is lead free cotton (which is not something I am concerned about, but if YOU are there ya have it, this is a fancy wick). 

So it is a nice scent, natural wax, metal tin, and fancy wick, all at only $3.99!!  That is a really reasonable price for a good candle if you ask me.

This is a good candle at a really good price - go get yourself (and a friend!) one

I hate even listing the price here, and I hope that the people I am gifting these to don’t feel like I am a cheapskate…  But I want You guys, the readers who I am not gifting these to, to realize how cheap they are and go grab 1 (or 2!) now while it is “mango season”.  Cuz you know how it goes; just like pumpkin time, Trader Joe’s won’t keep these around forever. 

Price - $3.99

Rating – 4.5