Mary Day - TREAT YOUR MOTHER TODAY

This is not a "normal post".  This is a special one for Mary Day, a holiday we celebrate every October 20th.  It is the anniversary of my mom's death.  On Mary Day, we celebrate her by doing things she loved and remembering her.  

My mom and I all decked out.  I think I was almost 2. 
Check out our "vintage" furniture and tv, super hip at the time I am sure.

 Yes, today is Mary Day.  The day every year where I sappily remind you to LOVE YOUR MOTHER (or maybe jealously remind you that you still have a mother and I do not…).  The point is:  if you are lucky enough to still have a mom that is living and breathing, today is a good day to appreciate her.  Oh sure, she expects it every Mother’s Day, but won’t she be surprised if you reach out TODAY?  Write her a poem.  Send her a card.  Call her.  And please, tell her you love her.

It’s been 15 years to the day since I have been able to tell my mom (in person) that I love her.  Sure, I go visit her grave and cry while recounting all the things happening in our family, in my life, in the world.  But trust me, the one-way conversation at the grave is not the same as sitting across the table from her over dinner.  Or hearing her voice on my voice mail.  Or picking up the mail and seeing a letter addressed to me in her handwriting. 

My mom with my sisters and I in November 1999 

Maybe it is because yet another pair of her shoes that I inherited disintegrated on my feet this week, but I have been mulling over how things melt away over time.  Things I thought I could never, ever forget became more and more faint – the sounds, the smells of my mom.  That fact used to make me so sad.  I didn’t WANT any of the memories to fade – I needed them.  Perhaps because I myself am getting older and thus closer to my “grand finale”, but the fading is not as painful as it used to be.  It’s more of a passage of time now. 

Thinking of my mom makes me smile, and for that I am grateful.  She was strong.  She was adventurous.  She was caring.  And she was ever so generous.  I am thankful for the time I had with her, and for the memories.  I will spend today thinking of her, doing things she enjoyed (shopping, drinking wine, I won’t go so far as cleaning, which she also adored…). 

Mom and Dad

Please think of your mom today, too.   And if you are lucky enough to still have her on the planet – GO VISIT HER OR CALL HER.  Pick her up some flowers from Trader Joe's.  Or some lotion from the personal care section.  Get her a card, they are only a buck...  Maybe a bottle of wine.  But whatever you do, if you are fortunate enough to be able to see her in person, hug her extra hard today for me.  Thanks. 

P.S. – this might sound like a rant, but if you are a MOM, please BE IN THE PHOTOS!  Make sure you are not always BEHIND the camera, be IN FRONT OF IT!  Trust me, when you are gone and photos are all that is left, your children will be so grateful they have images of you to smile at. 

This is how I love to remember her - not sick and going through treatment for cancer,
but LAUGHING and enjoying life