Maria Jola Sangria (Red AND White)

This is an unusual review, in that I am going to actually review TWO products in ONE review.  But I feel I must put them together, to save you the sadness that befell us.  Therefore, this review will cover:

RED Sangria

and

WHITE Sangria

Consider this a Public Service Announcement…  In my mind, SUMMER SANGRIA SEASON IS NOT OVER YET.  I refuse to believe that autumn is right around the corner.  So read these reviews, then rush to TJ’s and stock up on (red only) sangria.

BUY THIS BOTTLE!!
(Well, not THIS bottle, we already drank this one, but a bottle that looks just like this one!)

Let me say this right off the bat – we loved the red Maria Jola sangria (which I shall review first!).  We loved it so much, that after we drank it, the next time we were at Trader Joe’s and saw the WHITE version, we thought, “Hey!  The red was soooo tasty, the WHITE kind has to be delicious too, right?”.  Oh man, were we suckers.

First review – RED Maria Jola Sangria

We lugged a bottle of red sangria with us from Virginia down to Florida (land of “no Trader Joe’s near where we stay…”).  One lovely Florida day we swam in the ocean, rehearsed David’s show on the back patio (which makes a great “stage”), then I capped off the day by making a pitcher of SANGRIA!  I put the bottle of red sangria in a pitcher and added fresh orange slices, fresh blueberries, fresh strawberries, and a little bit of Meyers lemon from our very own fruit cocktail tree (whose name is Trixie!).*  I refrigerated the whole shebang for a while to let it chill.  My opinion is that the longer the fruit is in the sangria the better the whole thing gets (though our opinions might have been skewed by the increasing amount of sangria we put into our systems as the night wore on…).

Us on the BEACH!  (This was pre-sangria, we were not day drinkin'...)

And speaking of the fruit, it tastes super delicious to munch on after it has stewed a while!  When you pour this make sure everyone gets fruit in their cups!  It is like a healthy (??) little serving of fruit with your drink.    

Anyway, this red sangria is really good, especially if it is very cold.  It is a great summer time drink. 

Trixie the Fruit Cocktail Tree loaded down with Meyer Lemons

It may LOOK like a lime but it is a Meyer Lemon

David’s take on it: “I agree with what Susan said completely.  This is much better than I expected.  I have had a lot of sangrias that just take like not very good wine with fruit thrown in them, but this is (maybe because of how Susan prepared it!) very, very nice and fruity.  It is the way I think a NICE sangria you might get somewhere in Spain or Europe somewhere would taste, or at a nice restaurant.  It tastes very summery – the strawberries and lemons taste fantastic, too!   I like that it isn’t too strong – it lets you drink more of it!!  (Editor’s note:  the label says the alcohol content is 7%.)  I give this red sangria a 4.25.”

Susan:  I agree with that score – a 4.25.  It is not too sweet, it is not chemically tasting…  It tastes a bit PUNCHY (and, we both agree, if you drink enough of it, YOU GET A BIT PUNCHY!).

Price – $6.99

Rating – 4.25

* If you do not a fruit cocktail tree to pick your own Meyer Lemon off of, you can find them in season at Trader Joe's!  Excellent review of them from day 3 of this blog here: Meyer Sweet Lemons 

Second review – WHITE Maria Jola Sangria

I added raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, and orange slices in this sangria.  As you just read above, we really dug the red sangria, so I was excited to have this white one!   I like white sangria when we order it at restaurants!  We thought this bottled version of white would be juuuust as tasty as the red one.

(I hate to keep bringing up the RED SANGRIA, but geez Louise,
it is yummy!  We brought it to a dinner the other night...)

We were wrong.

When David first tasted it he said it was “perfume-y”, and I think that is the right term.  There is too much “perfume”-like scent to it.  When you raise your glass to take a drink, it smells too much like PERFUME, and then you TASTE the perfume…  And somehow, to my “sophisticated palate”, that “perfume-y” taste makes it takes like BATHROOM CLEANER.

To be perfectly transparent here, I have never drunk bathroom cleaner.  And I am not saying this product tastes TOXIC or anything…  It just tastes too much like it smells…   Do you know what I mean?  It is hard to describe.  I would say you need to taste it to understand what I am trying to explain, but that would mean you have to actually taste it, and I don’t want you to have to do that!

I give this a 2.25 rating.  I MUCH PREFER the red version.

Obviously I get excited over the red version....

David’s opinion: “This white sangria is too sweet and too perfume-y so it overpowers the fruit.  I can’t even really taste the fruit as much as I would like.  I think would be a better sangria if it were made with a more “transparent” white like a vino verde or something.  It is WINE, and it is not UNPLEASANT, but if I went shopping for sangria again I would get the RED instead of this one. I would give this white sangria a 3.5.” 

Price – $5.99 (a dollar cheaper than the red, but spend the extra buck, trust me!)

Rating - 3

Almondina – The Original Almond Biscuits

So, Almondina. 

A gentleman named Frank contacted me via Facebook message way back in May.  He had seen my blog, and asked if I had ever reviewed Almondina Biscuits.  I replied that I had not, and he replied with information on the product, links, and also offered to SEND ME SOME to review.  This flattered me!  I mean, FREE BISCUITS, right??!!  But I said no, thinking that if I accepted his offer of free biscuits I would not be able to review them neutrally.  I didn’t want to be swayed (or appear to be swayed) by a gift.  But I did tell him I would be sure to check them out.

Then life got super busy.  We travelled to India.  We hung out in Florida.  We went into intense rehearsals for a show.  I was swamped with work.  We travelled to Canada (twice) for the shows…  So, ummm, yeah…  Trader Joe’s reviews got even more backed up than usual.

Almondina Package

Frank contacted me a couple more times, nudging me and asking if I had a chance to review his product yet.  I felt so guilty!!  So finally I remembered to pick some up while we were at TJ’s in July, only then we never took time to EAT THEM.  Cuz, see, these reviews take quite a lot of time to do!  First, we need to buy the product.  Then photograph it.  Then taste it.  Then review it.  Then write and edit the review…  Then find and add the photos taken earlier…  Then POST the review…  It is not like a 10 minute job, people! 

Anyway, life is a tiny bit calmer today.  It is a Saturday.  We both have the day OFF.  We slept til noon.  We were tempted to pop down to the local donut shop and grab a maple and bacon donut for breakfast (healthy choice, I know!), but then I remembered – ALMONDINA!!!!!  So we finally ate them (not to worry, the “best before” date is March 2, 2017).  I served them with cappuccino and TJ’s yogurt topped with honey, fresh strawberries and toasted almonds (to match the Almondinas!).  Here is what we thought:

Look!  An Almondia!

David: “This is a biscotti, so it is a little bit hard and crunchy.  But since that is the ESSENCE of a biscotti I can’t really fault it for that.  It is THIN SLICED, which I like, ‘cuz that makes it easier to bite through.  It is tasty.  It has a nice balance of the almonds and raisins.  I must say; I am impressed the almonds stay in the cookie, they don’t pop out, even though they have so little biscuit to purchase on.  It is a well-made cookie.  Biscotti is not really my favorite…  I like a slightly softer cookie with maybe a little more buttery-ness to it, but this is doing the “biscotti thing” very well, so I think it is a good one.  It has a little bit of aftertaste of “honey-ness” rather than aftertaste of pure sweetness (editor’s note: there is no honey listed in the ingredients, it is pure cane sugar, and when I mentioned that to David he said, “Maybe the honey taste is my imagination, I am an unreliable source.”). 

The taste is good.  It is nice to dip it in coffee.  It is a great old family recipe from a time before mega food companies found ways to soften everything and make everything taste sweeter.  For that, it is a lovely historical and still delightful biscotti.  In terms of what the cookie is trying to do, I would give it a 4.5.  in terms of whether I would recommend to someone in the store that they are gonna LOVE this, I would give it a 3.5, because it is not very soft and it is not very buttery, and that is what I like in a cookie.”

Susan: “This cookie is filling a niche that I do not personally need filled.  I am not a huge biscotti person.  So I want to be honest about that from the get go.

2 Almondinas on a petite plate 

The tag line on the packaging for this product is “The Delicious Cookie Without the Guilt”.  I find this super funny because this is the one product I have ever reviewed that I feel SUPER GUILTY about!  I feel like I should have reviewed it months ago when contacted, and have had pangs of guilt every time Almondinas crossed my mind.  But I must say that normally, had I not been feeling bad for not doing something I said I would do in a timely manner, this tag line would be offensive to me.  It is my belief that one should never feel GUILTY about eating anything!!!  Food is something our bodies need, and what we choose to eat is a personal decision that should not be guilt inducing.  We can eat complete crap one afternoon, and a super healthy choice the same evening.  DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT EATING, PEOPLE!!!  (See another review with this rant here:  Reduced Guilt Pita Chips ).  For that reason, I recommend that Almondina re-think the tag line.

I also have been nervous about writing this review because, honestly, I feared I wouldn’t like the cookie.  Normally my personal like or dislike of a product doesn’t make me nervous, it is indeed the name of the game with these reviews. But since I was ASKED to review this one, I felt somehow like I didn’t want to disappoint Frank.  That is ironic, because I have been doing media work for David’s show lately, and a big part of that is contacting outlets and “pitching” the show to them.  Basically, I am asking them to review David’s show.  This situation of ME being the asked of (instead of the ask-er) has made me wonder if theatre reviewers ever feel nervous or guilty about disliking a show. 

One of the promo images I have been sending out to media for "A Little Business at the Big Top"
(photo credit R. Rado)

Stepping off soap box now to get back to the cookie review.

This is not the kind of cookie that I would normally go for.  Here is what I see as positives about it: 

-          It is thin – I love that it is thinner than most biscotti.  I like the petite-ness

-          I like the almonds

-          The raisins are good

-          The biscuits are CRUNCHY, but not MESSY.  I was surprised that no bits fell out when I bit these

-          It is cool that is a family recipe

-          It is awesome that they have been making them since 1929

-          I give them MAD PROPS for getting a non-Trader Joe’s branded product into TJ’s stores. That is a wicked hard thing to do, and THEY DID IT.  That, to me, means loads of people love this product

Here are things I am not really a fan of:

-          The biscuits have a bit of a rubbery, bendy quality before it snaps.  That is odd to me (David did not notice any bendiness)

-          They are not sweet enough for me – if I am going to eat a cookie, I want SWEET

-          They are really dry

Packaging:  I love the 3 little sections that so carefully hold the cookies.  They do a great job of keeping the crispy cookies whole – only one was broken when we took it out of the package.  The thing I do not like about the packaging is that once you open it, there is no way to seal it back up.  There are 4 servings in a package, so unless you have 4 people sitting around each wanting 4 biscuits, you are going to have to find a way to store these to try and keep them fresh (a Ziploc or a plastic container perhaps?). 

These are a biscuit that you want to eat paired with a nice coffee or tea (the website says you do not need coffee or tea with them, but I would beg to differ on that point).  I can sort of imagine a healthy parent giving one of these to a child, too (though NOT with a sippy cup full of coffee…). 

Overall, I would say that this product must fit a lot of people’s palates.  Non Trader Joe’s branded products rarely make it to TJ’s shelves, and this one did.  Color me impressed!!!  I think that this is just not “my cup of tea” when it comes to cookies.

Mad props to you for getting a product into TJ's under your own brand name
(Photo at TJ's Cincinnati) 

This is a tough one for me to rate.  I, like David, am going to give it 2 scores…  For the packaging, for having the gumption to do all the legwork to get it into TJ’s stores, for reaching out to me, for keeping a family recipe going, and for execution of idea – I will give this a 4.25.

For MY opinion of this cookie (which is how I have reviewed every other product on this blog, so I feel I need to be fair and review this one the same way) – for my enjoyment of it – I give it a 3.

Price: $2.79

Rating (average of 4 scores):  3.75

Find Almondina on Facebook at:  Almondina

200,000 VIEWS and ADDENDUM TO HEAD to TOE Moisturizing Balm

MY BLOG REACHED 200,000 VIEWS!  I knew it was coming – I hoped it would happen before we rush off to Canada (land of nooo Trader Joe’s….) again in a couple of days.  Then late last night it became apparent it was gonna happen OVERNIGHT…  Well, I like to take a photo of momentous times with the blog, and 200,000 is an awfully momentous number, so I needed a PICTURE.  But how?  In the middle of the night??  It was momentous, but not quite momentous enough to stay up ALL OVER and hit “refresh, refresh, refresh” repeatedly until the magic number appeared.  So, I did the next best thing – grabbed a photo in the location where I knew I would be when 200,000 rolled around – in my cozy bed!

WHEEEE - 200,000 HITS!  Who'd a thunk?

HAPPY 200,000 VIEWS, EVERYBODY!

To celebrate, let’s review something, shall we???

Well, instead of a brand new review, how about we do an ADDENDUM to the most read product review ever on this blog – HEAD TO TOE MOISTURIZING BALM (a product which boasts on the lid, a boast which it turns out is completely a lie, of no greasy residue…).  I do not know why or how this particular product review became so popular – it alone currently has 2,901 hits.  You can read the original review here:  Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm

Let's take another look back at Head to Toe Moisturizing Balm,
which got a clunker of a review way back on day 89 of this blog

As the product NAME implies – this is supposedly meant to be used HEAD to TOE – i.e. on your whole entire body.  And as the original review explains, I tried it on every part of my body I could:  my lips, my skin, and my hair.  However, I do NOT have a beard or mustache to try this balm on, so I couldn’t give it a COMPLETE test.

That is, until KARIM and Carrie stayed at our house!!!  You see, they are performers, and Karim has grown an outstanding mustache for their summer tour.  ENTER HEAD TO TOE MOISTURIZNG BALM!!! 

I asked Karim if he would do me the honor of trying it on his mustache, and he was more than happy to.  Here is his review:

“I think it’s ok.  I guess it depends on what your use is for it.  I would give it a solid B.”  (Editor’s note:  it is obvious that Karim does not read this blog.  That’s alright buddy, I will cut you some slack.  This is where I had to explain that I rate things numerically, not alphabetically like a report card…)

Karim is a true PROFESSIONAL - he travels with a mustache comb!!!

“Well, what am I reviewing this on the BASIS of??  What is its PURPOSE??” Karim pleaded.  (Editor here again:  damn, Karim is a serious guy!  I explained that he was reviewing it on the basis of “fly away mustache” (the tin mentions fly away beard, and not being familiar with facial hair I figured if it applies to a beard it must apply to a mustache, right???) 

“If the purpose of it is to STYLE my mustache I would give it a 0.  However, if the purpose is to SOFTEN my mustache and maybe just get it out of my LIPS a little bit, and give it like a SUBTLE SHAPE – I give it a 2.5.  It doesn’t really do much.  It is not a big difference.  It sort of changed the direction of the ‘stache, from down to sideways…  (David noted here that the product might be a good mustache TRAINING TOOL….)  Right – before you are ready for the FULL MUSTACHE WAX.  I would not buy this.”  (Carrie, Karim’s wife, pointed out that you can pick up real mustache wax for around the same price at CVS, thought I would implore you not to rub THAT on every part of your body like this product claims you should.)

Karim and Carrie in their show "Darlings" - "Peter Pan" from Mr. and Mrs. Darling's point of view.
Check out Karim's mustache!!

Honestly, I thought he was more keen on the balm than that…  But it turns out, even as a mustache styling product, this still sucks.  Oh well, you can’t say I haven’t given this product the complete test!!!! 

Price – $3.99

Rating (average of Karim’s 2 scores -  0 and 2.5):  1.25

P.S. - Karim and Carrie are terrific performers.  If their company, Animal Engine, is in your town be sure to check them out!  They are currently touring the show "Darlings".  Follow them on Facebook here:  Animal Engine

White House Cookie SALE

Ok, ok.  I know I need to stop telling you all how great Trader Joe's White House Cookie Kit is. You are going to start thinking I am obsessed with it or something...  But seriously guys, we were at TJs last night and they have marked the WH Cookie Kits down to $3.99!!  You kinda sorta NEED one.

David had the brilliant idea of getting one and SAVING IT FOR THE INAUGURATION!!  Wouldn't THAT be a fun thing to do on inauguration day, like a little cookie celebration of our country making it through these last few horrible hate filled months of the campaign.   (Note:  the cookies might actually be too hard and old to eat by then, but the joy of a cookie White House is in the making it, not the eating it.)