Tuesday, November 19, 2019

12 Days of Beauty - A Curated Beauty Collection


First off, did I NEED 12 days of beauty?  I mean, that sounds like a funny question…  YES, I could definitely use some help in the “beauty” department.  But NO, I didn’t need any more random lotions and potions at the moment.  I am temporarily living with family – they made a little basement bedroom for me.  I have 3 suitcases (and a duffle) and I came prepared with soaps, lotions, etc.  I don’t have ROOM for more “beauty”.

But on the other hand…  I am at a sad point in my life, and sometimes when you are sad, there is an urge to splurge!  It’s almost as if, “Sure, I am sad now.  But maybe, just maaaybe, if I spent $20 on a ridiculous beauty countdown calendar, I would be happy!!”.
  
Awkward still photo taken from video of me (I thought) opening all 12 Days of Beauty.
 But the filming accidentally stopped at day 11...
Alas.  I have opened all 12 days (early, I know!) and I am still sad.  But that is a story for another time.  Because NOW is time to review 12 Days Of Beauty!!

I opened all 12 days at once.  This was difficult for me to do!  I am the kind of person who hates things ending.  Like, hates endings so much that I like to buy another jar of mustard before the first jar ends, so instead of the mustard “ending” it just eases into the new jar!!  My partner and I seriously have a BIG pile of UNOPENED gifts at our house that we have given each other for various holidays over the years.  They are still wrapped, gathering dust, waiting for us to open them.  I am sure some will be old moldy chocolate and pants that are too small.  But hey, that’s how we roll!!

All that is to say – opening all 12 days before the month of December even started was very NOT ME.  But I thought if I was going to sit down and review this calendar I needed to do it while stores would still have it in stock, so you could say I DID IT FOR YOU.  I tried to video opening all of the little doors and seeing the products, but my camera storage filled up before I got to day 12.  Ugh.  So, you will have to imagine what opening the doors looked like. 

The bos.  Drum roll - let's open it!!
But here is the low down of what you will find if you, too, invest in one of these puppies (if you haven’t read my reviews before, the ratings are 0 – 5, with 5 being the highest):

1.      Cranberry Cider Shimmer Body Wash – I am practically a middle-aged woman.  Ok, chances are that technically I am PAST middle age…  So, do I want to shimmer when I am done washing??  I am not so sure…  Maybe this product is like H & M stores – made for someone younger than myself.  But it was in the countdown calendar, so I had to try it, right??  It didn’t leave my skin shimmery as much as a bit SMELLY.  The cider smell overpowered the cranberry.  Honestly, it smelled like one of the body washes at Bath and Body Works that ends up being on the clearance rack on sale after the holidays 2 for $5.00.  Some people might dig this stuff.  I guess it just wasn’t my cup of (shimmery) tea.
Rating:  2.5

2.      Winter Citrus Ultra Moisturizing Hand Cream – I was conflicted about this product even before I tried it…  On one hand, I was super stoked because I love the hand lotions in little metal tubes that TJ’s normally gets every holiday season.  I secretly think they are L’Occitane brand with TJ’s labels.  I usually stock up on them at the holidays, keeping some and giving them as gifts, too (see great review of them here: Ultra Moisturizing Hand Cream Trio Review   ).  But on the other hand, the name of the scent scared me.  “Winter Citrus”.  What the heck is “Winter Citrus”??  Is it different than, oh, I don’t know, summer citrus??  I feared it might smell like potpourri, a scent I didn’t want on my hands…  But it is not as bad as I feared.  The cream is a great texture and the tube makes it really easy to apply.  And the scent is not too over-powering. 
Rating:  4.5

This is a swell hand cream

3.      All for One One for All Shampoo, Conditioner, Body Wash – products that profess to be not only shampoo but also conditioner and body wash worry me.  If one bottle can contain all 3 products, then have I been a sucker all of these years for buying them separately??  Not wanting to be found out to be a sucker, I never buy the “all in one” products.  But this one came in the kit, so I of course needed to try it.  It is fine.  I mean, it works, it is soap, right?  But it is still creepy to use it for everything.  It would be good if you were traveling and staying in a hotel that did not gave you free toiletries.  And it would be good for people who don’t like to clutter up their showers with multiple bottles.  But for me, I will stick to shampoo, conditioner, and body wash (packaged separately).
Rating:  3.75


4.      Coconut Body Butter – I like TJ’s body butters.  They are a great consistency – not too thick but not at all runny.  They moisturize well and make your skin feel good.  However, this coconut one smells a bit too sweet for my taste (for my nose actually, I swear I didn’t taste it).  It smells more like COCONUT CREAM PIE than just coconut to me.  The smell wore off after a while, but still, I don’t want to smell like a pie.  Granted, it does not smell barfy like the TJ’s PUMPKIN BODY BUTTER does (reviewed here:  Original Review of Pumpkin Body Butter   ), but it is still not a scent I would buy a whole tub of. 
Rating:  3.75

5.      Warm Vanilla Body Butter – vanilla is not normally my favorite scent.  Does adding “Warm” to it make it smell better?  It turns out it does!!  This body butter is the same lovely cream that goes on so nicely and the scent is not overpowering.  I didn’t smell like a candle when I was wearing it (and that is a good thing).  I would buy a big tub of this one (but I probably won’t need to for about 30 years because I have so many bottles of creams and lotions at the moment). 
Rating:  4.25

6.      Peel-Off Charcoal Face Mask – if you think I am posting a photo of myself wearing this mask, you are w-r-o-n-g.  But of course, I TRIED it.  I like face masks and hadn’t tried a charcoal one before.  It felt weird going on and tightened on my face very quickly.  The package said to leave it on around 20 minutes then peel it off, but after around 5 minutes I started to feel sort of “warm” under it.  Nevertheless, I persisted!  Because – BEAUTY!  When it was time to peel it off I couldn’t find any “finger holds” to start peeling.  It didn’t crack or anything – my face was just covered with it.  I had to work a bit to get it started peeling and then it came off in small-ish chunks.  And let me tell you, that mask was STUCK on my face.  It stung a bit peeling it off.  It was like a cross between a face mask and a Biore nose strip.  I think it may have cleaned out my pores from the peeling and my face felt very clean (even if a bit raw…) after I washed it.  My cheeks were rosy when I was done!  I followed up this mask with some of the Rose Facial Oil.  If you have a little mustache this might be a cheap answer to “waxing” it 😊 .  I only used part of the Charcoal Mask package, but this definitely feels like a product I wouldn’t want to do again very soon.  Also, it is messy.  If you have a white sink you are going to need to clean it after finishing your “beauty routine”.
Rating:  4
A MASK, and a WAXER, all in one!  How convenient!
7.     Enrich Moisturizing Face Lotion – I am pretty fussy about my face lotion.  I like my face lotion to be light but moisturizing, not greasy, and not to have too much scent.  I had never tried this TJ’s Enrich Face Lotion before, but I got the small tube in this calendar and I really liked it! It goes on well and did not leave my face feeling “lotion-y”.  It didn’t make me shiny.  Plus, it has sunscreen (SPF 15)!  As someone who has had skin cancer removed from their face, this is a big PLUS.  This product is a winner! 

Rating:  4.25

Winner winner chicken dinner

8.      Rose Facial Oil – I love this stuff!!!  I have a bottle of it at home and brought a bottle of it with me on this trip, too.  So I was excited to see a teeny tiny bottle of it in this kit.  The word “oil” in the title might scare you off, but I swear it doesn’t make you feel too greasy.  The scent name might scare you, too, if you (like me) associate “rose” scented beauty products with 85 year old women (not that there’s anything wrong with 85 year old women).  But this Rose Facial Oil is lightly scented and smells delightful!!  I like to put this on before bed.  I will keep this cutie patootie bottle of it in my travel kit. 

Rating:  4.75


9.      Brown Sugar Body Scrub – This was nice.  It has a nice scent and is not too abrasive.  My skin felt smooth after using it.  This one gets a thumbs up.
Rating:  4.5

10.  Blueberry and Acai Facial Scrub – Bleck.  This product gets a thumbs down from me.  I think it gave me flashbacks to my junior high school days.  First off, the scent.  It smells like one of those chunky Bonnie Bell Lip Smackers that I had in 1979.  Then the texture.  I used it on my face as instructed and it reminded me of that cheap ass peach pit facial scrub we used to get at K-Mart when I was a teenager.  Do you know the one??  It scraped your face up and felt like there were actual ground up peach pits in there??  No thank you.  I am not sure who this product is aimed it, but it ain’t me. 
Rating:  1.25
Bit and pieces scrape your skin and it leaves you stinking.
No thanks.

11. Pomegranate Moisturizing Lip Balm – This is the BEST product in the box!!  I wish TJ’s sold this sucker on its own, I would stock up.  It is not waxy and goes on smooth.  The pomegranate scent is delicate (what do pomegranates even SMELL like anyway?  I had some pomegranate seeds in yogurt for breakfast today and don’t remember a scent).  Anyway, I don’t like lip products that are too stinky, cuz my lips are right next to my NOSE and I don’t want to smell my lips all day.  So, this one fits the bill.  My only complaint about this product is that I don’t think I can pop into TJ’s at any time and pick up another one when I inevitably wash this one in the pocket of a pair of jeans. 
Rating:  5

Yes please - I would like 5 more of these.

12.  Exfoliating Sugar Cube – this one is WEIRD.  There is nothing written on the packaging.  It just looks like a squishy little pink sugar cube.  When I first opened the tiny calendar door to reveal the last day’s product, I wasn’t sure what I was looking at.  I had to read the back of the box to get an understanding of what it was.  It feels like they opened a big box of individually wrapped Exfoliating Sugar Cubes and plopped one into each calendar.  Honestly, I haven’t tried this one yet.  It looks like it is going to be tricky to open with wet fingers in the tub or shower.  And I am just feeling scrubbed out!  So, I will save this one for a later date and not give it an official rating here (sorry).
Rating:  not rated

Overall impression of the 12 Days of Beauty Curated Collection:  I like that the products are petite.  I will for sure put some of them in my toiletry bag for trips.  They would easily get thru TSA in your carry-on, too.  Three scrubs seemed a bit of overkill for my taste, I would have preferred another lip product instead of one of the scrubs. 

My favorites were the Pomegranate Lip Balm, the Rose Facial Oil, and the Winter Citrus Ultra Moisturizing Hand Cream.  I would buy all of those again.  The worst by far was the Blueberry and Acai Facial Scrub.  That won’t be on my shopping list any time soon.

I am glad I bought this countdown kit.  It is a very fun way to try new products.  I will reuse some of the containers when they are empty because they are sturdy and great sizes.

Would I buy the 12 Days of Beauty again?  Not this year.  12 items were plenty for me.  But I would purchase it again next holiday season!  It was fun to play with.  And it would be a good teacher or co-worker gift. 

Happy Holidays to you all!  And happy shopping at Trader Joe’s! 

Price:  $19.99
Average of 11 ratings:  3.5

Saturday, September 21, 2019

Pumpkin Spice Biocellulose Face Masks


I am feeling down this weekend – my heart hurts and my eyes are tired from crying because we got bad news in our family this week. 

I’ve decided to take a break from crying to think about something FUNNY – Trader Joe’s Pumpkin Spice Biocellulose Facial Masks.  Let me say that again for you, PUMPKIN SPICE FACE MASKS.

If you shop at Trader Joe’s, you know this is the time of year when the shelves there are flooded with pumpkin crap.  There is pumpkin ravioli.  Pumpkin ice cream.  Pumpkin coffee.  Pumpkin everything.  But pumpkin FACE MASKS???  Now that is just a/ step too far, my friends.  Trader Joe’s, you have officially jumped the shark.

So, of course, I bought them!  I picked up 2, thinking I would force my sisters into being guinea pigs and trying them.  Only one of my sisters was too smart to spend the night on the night I was busting them out, which was BAD NEWS for my nephew, cuz he had to fill her spot!  Lucky for me, Trevor is a really good sport.

Trev has a full beard, and I wasn’t sure how well the mask would work on the facial hair, so for HIM I turned it upside down and put the MOUTH hole up on his bald head, then covered his face down to his beard with the mask.


The brave product testers
As the pretend esthetician for the event – my take on these masks was “Ewwww”.  First off, they are STINKY.  Secondly, they are SLIMY.  And thirdly, you have to peel not 1 but 2 pieces of goo off the sides to get to the actual product.  They are messy to put on.  After touching them a lot they made my fingers STINK.  They smelled like a gross over-powering autumn candle that would be an ugly brown color. 

Even before OPENING these they sounded smelly...
Now let’s hear what the product testers had to say!  First up was my nephew Trevor:  “I do not usually use facial products.  I wash my face every day but never put lotion on it.  To be blunt, I didn’t really enjoy the experience of this mask…  When it got put on it smelled like a mix of Bath and Body Works and fake vomit.  And a little bit of spicy pumpkin.”  After I took his mask off and rubbed in any remaining goo (there was not much, most of it seemed to soak in) I asked Trev how it felt.  “It feels fine I guess.  I mean, I don’t have anything to compare it to.  I have never used these products before.  I probably will not be using this again in the future.  I don’t especially like this.  I don’t like the feeling of my face being greasy.  If I am going to use a facial product I would rather it be CLEANSING.  I would not buy this product.  I hate to give it an awful score because maybe it is good at what it is intended to DO, but I am not the target audience.  To be generous, I will give it a .75.”

Tester #1 - not a fan
Soooo, Trevor was not a fan.  Maybe my sister, who actually LIKES beauty products, will like it!!  I didn’t tell her the scent before I put it on.  Let’s see what she thought.

Sherry: “I use face products, but I only use face masks when my sisters are all together.  I did not like the SMELL of this face mask at all.  I thought it smelled like a funeral home.  Like, the overpowering smell of flowers or something trying to disguise a smell.   Once you told me it was Pumpkin Spice scented I could tell – I mean – it was spicy.  But it doesn’t at all smell like pumpkin, just spice.  It smells like a spice cake or something.  I didn’t like the smell of it at all.  And I didn’t like the feel of it on.  And I didn’t like the feel when it got taken off.  I have had other face masks before and this wasn’t that different, but it made me feel SLIMY.  I want to go wash my face and I am afraid I will have zits tomorrow.  I wouldn’t buy it again, unless I was buying it for someone’s Christmas stocking…  (Note:  our family makes funny gag stockings, and now I fear I know what might be in mine…)  I am not a huge fan of masks.  People who buy it are probably people who like pumpkin spice and face masks.  I don’t like this.  I will give this a 2.”

Tester #2, also not going to stock up on this product
There you have it folks.  I as the applier and both testers thought this one was a big F-A-I-L.  If you like pumpkin and you like spice, there are pleeeenty of other things to spend your money on at Trader Joe’s this fall.  Leave this one on the shelf!

Price:  $2.99 (so not worth it)
Score:  1.5

But don't buy it
Here's what to look for



Saturday, September 14, 2019

Creamy Pink Primavera Pasta Sauce


In 2015, I had this crazy idea to write a review of one Trader Joe’s product every.  Single.  Day.  Like, EVERY DAY.  and I did it!  I went to Trader Joe’s stores all across the country and I tried 365 products (actually, more than that, but that is the number I REVIEWED that first year).  It was super fun and I loved doing it.

But it was also really time consuming.  And more than that, it was LIFE CONSUMING.  So much of my focus and energy was put into that project that I didn’t have a lot of “fuel” left for other creative outlets.

And then life happened.  I started a NEW (time consuming) project about Kindness (https://kindnessactivist.blogspot.com/ ).  I travelled.  I enjoyed myself.

And then, as sometimes happens, life got messy.  My sweetheart broke his collarbone.  My sister got diagnosed with brain cancer (glioblastoma (GBM) ),  And in the midst of her treatment, our dad suddenly had a heart attack, and after surgery, surprised everyone by dying in the hospital.

So yeah, life has sort of sucked the last 13 months.

But that doesn’t mean I stopped shopping at Trader Joe’s.  It just means I stopped being anal about reviewing my purchases. 

But now I think it is TIME to review something new!!!  It’s fall, which means the shelves are filling up with new seasonal products.  My Trader Joe’s review blog (insert link) has almost 800,000 views (isn’t that wild??), and it is time to refresh it a bit!  So here we go – let’s talk about this new (to us) product that we had for dinner:  Creamy Pink Primavera Pasta Sauce.

David was skeptical from the get-go
First off, I bought it because it is PRETTY.  That is the same philosophy I apply to wine shopping when I don’t have a specific bottle in mind:  which one has a beautiful or funny label?  Buy that one!  So, I picked this sauce because of its’ very pretty dark pink color.

PRETTY!
There is not a lot of PINK food in the world.  Think about it – cotton candy…  Gum balls… 

So yeah, I thought the world needed more PINK FOOD.  My partner David wasn’t so sure from the get-go.  But I figured he could be easily convinced if it was as tasty as I hoped it would be!!

It wasn’t. 

He was right.

This stuff is yucky!!  The label says this sauce has tomato, beet, cauliflower, chickpea, and a touch of citrus.  We served it over TJ’s linguine with a side of TJ’s baby bok choy. 

Starting to look a bit like blood on pasta...
Here is what we thought of it:

David:  I think it is a stretch…  I don’t think…  It doesn’t taste BAD…  But, I mean, for me it’s not a PASTA SAUCE…  I mean, it’s a little citrus-y, which is interesting.  But the rest of it is kinda a hell of a lot of BEET.  So…  Good luck to ya! 
I give it a 2.

Susan:  Pretty – yes.  Tasty – no.  I agree with David.  I don’t know – but the LINGUINE itself tastes better than the sauce that is on it.  It is very BEETY, and I love beets.  I like to eat TJ’s baby beets from the produce section.  I put them on my salads and they are delicious. 

But for some reason, in this format, the beets didn’t work.  Maybe this sauce should be served cold (which David suggested and I poo pooed)?   The sauce eerily has a look of BLOOD on the pasta, which is obviously a bit off putting (but might work well for a Halloween dinner).  In the JAR the color was great, but on the pasta it is not as pretty. 

It doesn't look as PINK here as it does in real life
Maybe shredded cheese on top would help.  I LOVE most of the ingredients in it:  tomatoes, beets, chickpeas.  And I LIKE the other ingredient: cauliflower.  But when they put these things together as a pasta sauce it was a fail.  In fact, it was so much a fail that for the first time in history (that I can remember) David literally RINSED HIS PASTA OFF and tried to “clean it”, then added pesto to cover the yucky remaining Creamy Pink Primavera Sauce.
I will give this a 2.25.

Don't waste your $3.69.  But, as always, if you TRY it and DON'T LIKE IT, don't be afraid to take it back! 
Trader Joe's is awesome about returns!
I assume this is a fall seasonal item.  David (a bit sarcastically but with a bit of sincerity)  says, “Why must we suffer at Trader Joe’s every fall?  Damn "autumn this" and "pumpkin that"…” 

Price:  $3.69
Rating: 2 (I lowered my score to match David’s for the final rating, because let’s face it, he RINSED THE PRODUCT OFF his dinner it was so bad.)

In loving memory of my dad John, who thought many of the things I do with my life are nutty, but was behind me all the way.  He showed me how to enjoy life and I miss him every day.  Love you, Dad.