Day 266 - Tuscan Pane Bread

WHYYYYY don’t I listen to my gut and just STOP.  BUYING.  BREAD.  AT.  TRADER.  JOE’S.

We have not found a loaf we like.  We have tried a few (some prior to beginning this blog project so they have not been reviewed here) and have not been satisfied with any of them.  I really like the British Crumpets that they sell, and we were surprised how good the Bagel Spinozas were.  Those are both BREAD PRODUCTS, but  not loaves of bread.  All of the loaves of bread we have bought at Trader Joe’s have been bad (in my humble opinion).

So recently I reviewed one of the yucky ones, Whole Wheat Bread, and an avid reader and one of the few people who takes time to comment on this blog, the lovely TTrockwood, commented and recommended that we try Tuscan Pane bread.  Well TTrockwood, we took your advice.  We bought it.  We tried it.  Bleck!  J  (I am not blaming you!  We have free will here, haha! )

WHO is buying this stuff?  :)

Check it out – the sign above Tuscan Pane says that this bread is the BEST SELLER.  I am not sure if that is nationwide over-all best seller or that store.  But if it is just the best seller for that store all I can say is oh man, either TTrockwood lives near us and is going to the same TJ’s as us and buying tons of this crap, or other people like it better than we do. 

David's slice - see how there is not much honey?
That is cuz it all OOZED THROUGH THE BIG CRACKS and is hiding under the bread in this photo.  

I made David a slice of this bread with nice butter and Turkish Honey (which rocks).  Here is what he thought of it – “Good taste.  Nice texture.  It has a hard crust, so if you are looking for a bread with no crust this is not your baby.  But it does have good taste and, at least the first day, is not too hard.  It does have huge crater-like holes in it and the honey (and everything else you put on it) falls through.”

Looks ok on the shelf

Here is what the package looks like

As for me, sadly, this still is not my favorite breads in the world.  It is VERY DRY.  It needed a ton of butter.  I think the HONEY on David’s made his a little more moist (and a lot more delicious).  Mine had butter with cheddar cheese. We also have had 2 sandwiches made with it and that made a big mess, because by the second sandwich I refused to eat most of the bread so I got mayo and tomato juice all over…

A TJ’s employee told us that they didn’t understand why this bread sells so well and recommended yet ANOTHER different loaf.  However, I am now scared of all Trader Joe’s breads…  Not, like, “Monster under the bed” scared, but “Oh man is this gonna be gross??” scared.  Know what I mean?

Here is mine - cheddar cheese on top.  The cheese and the pomegranate seeds in the green bowl were the best part!

Maybe TJ’s breads are healthier than the breads I enjoy and have, like, zero preservatives or something, I do not know.  But if I could use a sports metaphor here (which I never do cuz I am not into sports) – this bread was not a home run for me. 

David thinks the reason this bread is the best seller is because people like to picture themselves sitting in a café in Italy eating fancy bread.  That makes no sense to me, cuz if I was in an Italian café and they served me THIS BREAD I would gag.  Well, who orders BREAD in an Italian café anyway, David?

This is a HARD, DRY BREAD.  I like the crusts better than the actual bread.  The crust I expect to be hard, but the bread needs to have at least a smidgeon of “give” to it. 

The first day was really the only day this loaf was edible to me.  And even then it wasn’t great.

Price – $2.49

Rating – 2.75 (note – David rated it a 3, but I am overruling his on this one and rating it myself to save you the heartbreak of buying it)